What's In a Name?

Out of curiosity today I decided to do some research and find out what Lori meant. As I'm searching I find it means crowned with Laurel. Then I got to wondering; what in the world is Laurel? Laurel is some type of aromatic tree. And, in the process of researching this I found out that a laurel wreath is a wreath of laurel foliage worn on the head as an emblem of victory. Hmmmm....an emblem of victory. I like that!

So, naturally, me being me, I started looking up all the names in my family. Shane means God is gracious. Kristina, well that means Christ bearer. Gabriel means hero of God (I like that!). Helen (my Momma), her name means light and yes, my Momma is a ray of light! Duane (my Daddy) his name means wagon maker (what in the world?! haha). Lisa (my sister), well her name means consecrated to God and her husband John, his name means God is gracious, merciful. Ryan, Kristina's boyfriend who we look at as one of the family, means young royalty, Samuel (my nephew) means God's word and my little rascal of a nephew John William, well his name means God is gracious, merciful, protector. I have two nieces, Lauren and Jessi (Jessica) and Lauren means crowned with Laurel as well, but Jessica means wealthy.

I found all of our name meanings quite interesting and even some a little comical. In a way our names really fit us. Even my Daddy's! You see it doesn't matter what is broken my Daddy can fix it! My Daddy takes alot of pride in keeping things running and he is really good at it! I often find myself calling my Daddy to fix this or that at my house before even giving Shane a chance. Why? Because my Daddy is the fixer...the wagon maker! He can fix just about anything and believe it or not he can fix broken hearts! Many, many a day my Daddy fixed my broken heart as a child!! And, truth be told, he does it now! There's just something about my Daddy! And, if the meaning of names means anything at all, Jessi, Aunt Lori will be living with you in the years to come since you'll be "wealthy"!! hee hee And, if you know John William, well, God must be gracious and merciful because that little one is full of energy! He has my Grannie's mischief and uses is regularly! haha

So, then I got to thinking about Jesus and how specific God was about His name! "And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:21 (NLT). As I searched the name Jesus I found that in today's world that name means God will help. How interesting! Just the name of Jesus can bring me peace and I can feel a wave of calmness flow over me. I am confident knowing that He is my friend. No other friend has died for me! No other friend has carried me when I didn't have the strength to walk. No other friend truly knows my deepest darkest secrets and loves me anyway! He saved me! And, today, He is still saving me! What's in a name? I'd have to say everything!

Calendars

Do you mark out the days on a calendar? I do! I print out a monthly calendar every single month, tape it to my cubicle wall and each and every morning I mark an "X" through the previous day. One by one the month seems to slip away.

I sat staring at my calendar this morning and looked all the Xs that line the days and I thought to myself...what did I accomplish this month? I haven't accomplished very much progress on my work I can tell you that right now. At home, I haven't accomplished much in the cleaning area and don't get me started on cleaning out my truck. I think I could live in that thing for a month and survive there is so much stuff in there.

But, what have I accomplished for the kingdom? I'm not real sure. As I sit here and think I wonder if marking Xs on calendars has always been something people do. I think about when Jesus died on the cross. What did people think, in the days following his crucifixion, when they looked at the X on their calendar? I'm thinking back to all the Xs on my calendar for February. What did those days mean? What did I accomplish in January? What if today is the day Jesus comes back? What will someone who is left behind think of the Xs on my calendar? Will I be the reason that this person is left behind?

"God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction. Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I'm not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure. You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing. Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life." Psalm 23 (MSG).

Ink Stain

I'm a pen person. I love, Love, LOVE pens! Here in my office good pens aren't that readily available and if you have a good pen you better keep it under lock and key! I came across a pen that had been left at the copy machine one day and I fell in love! The ink just flowed from it with ease. With each stroke of a letter it was if the pen knew exactly what you wanted to say and would move on its own. Okay, I'm being a dramatic, but you are getting my point; right?

So, no one claimed this pen for days so I finally took it as my own. I wrote with this pen every day and loved every minute of it. I wrote on sticky notes, a calendar, I scribbled when I was on the phone and I just made it a point to use this pen as much as possible every single day. Until... last Thursday!

I picked up my pen and started doodling while on a phone call and then moved my attention to something else. I picked the pen up and wrote myself a note and then slid my hand across my desk. And that is when I noticed it...the pen had busted! There was ink EVERYWHERE! I had ink on my hands, my keyboard, my desk, my arm, papers...do you get the point? It was everywhere! I became so aggravated that I just chucked this pen in the garbage and began the task of trying to clean up. As I fussed under my breath I scrubbed and scrubbed trying to remove all this ink.

As I sat down this morning at my desk I couldn't help but snicker at the ink stains that still remain on my keyboard and desk. It doesn't matter how hard I scrubbed I just couldn't remove all of the ink. As I sat and looked I started thinking (or as my Daddy would say...muttering) and I started comparing these ink stains to sin. I thought about sin in my life, in my past and in my future. I thought about how hard I had worked to scrub this ink off my desk but yet it still remained. I thought about how sin affects my life and those around me. Then I started thinking about how Jesus' blood washes my sin white as snow! How I am a wretched ole sole who messes up day in and day out, but I have a Savior!! One who holds His hand out and pulls me out of the ink that I often find myself smearing everywhere. He pours His blood over the top of my head and as it flows over my forehead, down my face, over my chin, and then finishes down my body I no longer have blotches of stains all over me, but instead I am pure...I am restored!

"But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7 (NLT). Do you have ink all over you today? Are you in need of some restoration?

Psalm 119

I was just poking around this morning just looking and I read Psalm 119. Wow, that Psalm is pretty heavy!!

Be good to your servant,

that I may live and obey your word.

Open my eyes to see

the wonderful truths in your instructions.

I am only a foreigner in the land.

Don’t hide your commands from me!

I am always overwhelmed

with a desire for your regulations.

You rebuke the arrogant;

those who wander from your commands are cursed.

Don’t let them scorn and insult me,

for I have obeyed your laws.

Even princes sit and speak against me,

but I will meditate on your decrees.

Your laws please me;

they give me wise advice.

Psalm 119:17-24 (NLT).

Maybe when you read that you get something different. But me, I just keep hearing "I don't know what to do! So, I'm going to just keep standing still, standing firm and standing on your commands because at this point...that's all I've got!" I find myself here many, many times. Sometimes I think I find myself in these predicaments because that is just the way the world is and then there are times I bring them on myself. I stumble and fall and get all confused. I want to make people happy, I want to do the right thing, I want to be liked and I want to be honest. Sometimes all those just don't go well together. But, anyway, today, I found a little peace in some uncertainty...your laws please me; they give me wise advice!

Believe

Believe....hmmmm.... I believe I do like to drink Mountain Dew. I believe I do not like Birmingham traffic. I believe I would much rather be a stay-at-home mom. I believe that Malfunction Junction was designed by the devil himself. I believe that puppies' breath was designed to make you smile. I believe that a child's laughter will make you laugh yourself. I believe Christmas never loses it's "magic." I believe hide-and-go-seek is the best game that was ever invented. I believe a child's view of the world is way better than an adults'. I believe standing at the edge of the ocean is where true peace is found. I believe running sand through your hands somehow fixes your problems. I believe feeling the wind on your face is like feeling the breath of God. I believe you can always find pictures in clouds. I believe your children imprint their footprint on your heart while still in the womb. I believe an adoptive mother loves her child in a deeper way than a biological mother will ever be able to fathom. I believe customer service is not always customer service. I believe teenagers do know what true love is. I believe grasshoppers are scared of two year olds. I believe hugs are the universal sign language for I'm right here. I believe Taco Bell was only designed to be eaten at midnight. I believe classical music is much like books, only a few are born with a real appreciation. I believe yard work is cruel punishment (hee hee). I believe the garbage man is my best friend! I believe hard work is not necessarily just hard labor. I believe my children know who I truly am where I am constantly searching to figure that out. I believe my husband does love me unconditionally. I believe there is nothing better than the smell of rain. I believe driving in reverse is not my specialty. I believe you will never know the lives you touch. I believe people never really know your heartache. I believe tears are a way to let it out. I believe if adults would skip more they would laugh more. I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for my wretched ole self and saved me from an eternity in hell! I believe I am not perfect but I am forgiven! What do you believe?

"But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God’s promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ." Galations 3:22 (NLT).

Raindrops

I love the rain...as long as I'm inside! It doesn't seem to matter what I do to try and prevent it, but I get soaked every single time I go outside. I can't seem to figure out how to dodge the raindrops. If I do manage to remember my umbrella I seem to get soaked attempting to close it and tuck it away in my vehicle. And then I have those wonderful moments where I have managed to dodge the raindrops and remain dry or use my umbrella and remain dry and then I do it...I step into a puddle!

As I was walking across the cross walk this morning coming into my building it seemed to be raining sideways. I thought to myself it obviously doesn't matter WHAT I do I am going to get wet! I continued to hurry across when I started grinning from ear to ear because I started realizing that rain is nothing but an example of sin to me. Okay, stay with me here...No matter how hard we try to avoid the raindrops and stay dry we always get wet! Just like with sin...it doesn't matter how hard we try to avoid sinning, we are just going to mess up from time to time! We are sinners! "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23 (KJV). I tend to beat myself up when I make a mistake...when I sin. I ask for forgiveness but yet I seem to stumble and stammer for days on end because I feel so guilty, I feel so, so, so wet!

Today as I walked into the building feeling my skin become wetter and wetter I realized that God truly is merciful and just to forgive us. And, every single time I ask him to forgive me he does...He wraps His big ole arms around me and dries me! "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." 1 John 1:9 (NLT). In no way do I believe this verse is a "free ticket" for us to abuse our Father's mercy and forgiveness, but it is comforting to me, someone who can't seem to forgive herself sometimes, to know that even when I struggle with forgiveness my Father always shows me the way...He leads by His example! Sort of keeps me dry on a rainy, windy day! =)

Footsteps

Have you ever walked in someone else's footsteps before? It is pouring down rain today and here at my office I have to park in one parking deck, walk across a cross-walk and then walk through another parking deck just to enter the building. I'm not fussing or anything because there are tons of people who have to park 2 and 3 blocks away from their office building and walk in the rain, cold and snow (as of lately) so I'm thankful I'm covered, but our parking decks flood! When it rains you literally have puddles everywhere! Ankle deep puddles!

Without realizing it I began following a woman through the decks. We were side stepping this puddle and maneuvering around that one. I wasn't paying her much attention at first but I began to notice how I watched her feet and wherever her feet stepped, so did mine! To the left, quickly to the right, turn your foot a little sideways to avoid that standing water and walk around that car to get on the other side of that river over there! Step after step after step.

We had almost made it in the building when the Holy Spirit pressed upon my heart...following footsteps isn't as hard as you think it is... I almost stopped dead in my tracks! I don't know about you, but there are many days that I act and think as though following in my Jesus' footsteps is so difficult and hard. I seem to focus on what is in front of me instead of just watching His feet like I did this woman. When the day is dark and foggy and you are searching for the light to see the way, stop looking so far ahead of yourself and just look down at His feet! Honestly, that's where we need to be looking anyway! If we follow His steps, each and every one, we will not be mislead!!

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am." Mark 8:34 (MSG).

Old Wives Tales

As we walked through the yard my Momma touched the branches, kicked around the grass and ran the leaves through her fingers. We were talking about nonsense really and as of this moment I cannot recall a much about our conversation that day. It was about a year ago on a Spring afternoon when my parents were at our house. The seasons were beginning to change, but this one afternoon was picture perfect.

As we walked I do remember talking about all the bushes in my yard. The previous owner was a little bush happy and now we have a mess on our hands. We have made some progress but we still have a very long way to go. As we talked Momma began to tell me things like "Well, if you're gonna cut that bush back you better hurry because the sap is rising." What in the world...I thought to myself. We continued on as she ran leaves through her hands and then she said something along the lines of "I don't know why folks are planting that stuff...it thundered in December so we still have one more frost..." Oooookkkkkaaaayyyy crazy woman!! As we made our way back into the house we were laughing hysterically as I announced that I feel sorry for my grandchildren because the day will come when they will look at me with their cherub faces and say "Nami (that's what Kristina calls me so I go with it), how can you tell if it is time to plant flowers?" and I'm going to reach down, kiss their precious cheeks and say "I don't know...go google it!"

Where did all this knowledge go? I remember my Grannie having this vast amount of knowledge regarding the seasons, the weather, etc. And, my Grandma she knew everything there was to know about flowers, baking, soap operas (hee hee). And here I sit wondering when we made a decision to stop listening to our elders and soaking up their knowledge. Notice I didn't say why did they stop teaching...I said why did we stop listening! So, I'm thinking....if we don't listen to our elders any longer and we aren't learning about "old wives tales" then, are we tuning out God as well?

"The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah 40:8 (NLT).

Rocks In My Pocket

God made everything! That was the theme to our Sunday School lesson yesterday. Shane and I teach the 3 and 4 year old boys class and these boys teach me way more than I teach them! Their insight to things is so wise for their little years. Each one of them is so special and has their own way about them that just intrigues me. They continue to amaze me week after week.

Since the weather was so beautiful yesterday we took a field trip outside to actually SEE and FIND things that God made. We made a lap around the church and each boy with a brown paper bag in hand set out to find things that God made. Of course they all went for grass, a flower, then one yelled "LEAVES!" and as we rounded the corner of the church someone yelled "ROCKS!" One little boy tried to pick up a rock about the same size he was and as Shane tried to explain he couldn't fit that rock into his bag he stood his ground that God made that rock and we said to find stuff God made! I told you...just precious!

After our trip concluded we all went back in the room and went through our bags. We talked about what each one of them had found and then we started thinking of things that God made that maybe we had never considered. "God even made band-aids!" I said. They all gasped and looked at me like I had spoken French! I continued "God made the man who made band-aids so guess what...God made band-aids!" This precious little boy was leaning across my leg with his head gently propped in his hand and he said "Wow...I've never thought of it that way before!"

As we continued on our lesson quickly turned, if God created everything then that means God is in control and that means God takes care of us and that means...we are His! See...I told you these little boys were smart!

I was walking through the parking deck this morning and noticed that my coat was a little off-kilter. It felt heavier on the left side and as I ran my hand along the edges of my jacket near my pocket I felt it...it was rocks! I had rocks in my pocket!! I snickered to myself and a huge grin came across my face. I began to remember our Sunday School lesson and I began to think about the last part...the part about God taking care of us and it hit me like a bolt of lightening. How many times do I feel weighted down by burdens ("rocks"). I thought about how God made everything and how he takes my burden in his hand and gently places it in His pocket to handle it for me. And...if I would butt out of the way He could handle it a whole lot faster! I slid my hand half way into my pocket with the intention of throwing the rocks onto the ground when I stopped...maybe it is time that I walk around with some rocks in MY pocket! Maybe I need that reminder that He is in control...after all He's the creator! What am I? I am a rock carrier...that's what I am? Now...what are you? Is it time that maybe you pick up a rock and put it in your pocket?

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD..." Psalm 37:23 (KJV).

Ummm...Hellur...Do you hear me?

Maybe it's not the greatest movie in the world, but one of my favorites is Madea's Family Reunion. I'm a "one liner" type person and if I come across a movie that is full of one liners it quickly becomes a favorite of mine. In this movie, Tyler Perry takes on the character of a Georgia woman named Madea and this woman is willing to take in anyone, help anyone and beat up anyone! haha I guess you would have to just watch the movie yourself to actually see the humor I see but throughout this movie Madea doesn't say "hello" she says "hellur" and let me tell you it just cracks me up every time I hear it!

I feel like I scream "hellur" alot to the folks that live in my house. I talk and it seems like no one hears me. "Take the trash out!"...no response. "Put those clothes in the dryer!"...silence. "Did you put gas in the car?"...nothing. Ummm...HELLUR...DO YOU HEAR ME?

I find myself getting more and more aggravated as the days goes by when my family can't seem to hear me. I begin to notice that other people can't hear me either. My boss...oh don't even get me started on that! haha Co-workers, the lady who let the elevator door shut in my face while I yelled "HOLD IT!", and then there is that crazy driver in front of me who is talking on her cell phone and going 20 miles an hour...guess what?...she can't hear me either!

I feel as though I am standing in a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs while no one...not even the mouse running around can hear me. I feel invisible, lonely, unimportant! I have noticed that when I begin to feel this way with the world I also begin to feel as though maybe God can't hear me either. I wonder why on earth would He listen to me when I can't even get my husband and children to hear me! Have you ever felt like that?

Listen, my friend, He hears us. When no one else hears...He does! 1 John 5:14 says "...we are confident that he hears us..." (NLT) and don't forget Zechariah 13:9 says "...They will call on my name, and I will answer them..." (NLT), but my favorite is Psalm 4:3 "...The Lord will answer when I call to him." (NLT). Now, I'm not expecting all honey and no bees (in the words of Bro. John), but sometimes I just yearn for someone to hear me...actually HEAR me and guess what? He delivers every time! Sometimes He may answer me with "wait" and other times His answer may be "no," but more times than not I just want to talk to Him...I just want to be heard and when everyone else around isn't listening I find peace in knowing that the only one that really matters...He hears me!

Papa's Gonna Buy You A Diamond Ring...

It's no secret that I was a "teenage mom." It doesn't matter how old I am nor how old Kristina is I am still classified in that category and it is a badge that I wear proudly. Being a teenage mom also meant starting out my life broke! haha Shane and I didn't have anything when we found out I was pregnant with Kristina and we surely didn't have a dime to our name. We were kids!

Shane worked at a local grocery store part-time and that was the only income we had. As we figured out what we planned to do and how it would all work Shane went and bought me a ring. It took him several weeks salary to save enough money to buy the ring and when he proposed I thought it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen! If I remember correctly it cost a whopping $250 (give or take).

As the years rolled on like they always seem to do Shane and I started making more money and naturally spending more money. Around 8 years of marriage I demanded a new ring. I wanted a bigger diamond! Yes, you read that right...I WANTED a NEW ring! Me and my selfish self. Well anyway, Shane being the man that he is he bought me a beautiful ring and ring guard. I loved it! I have worn it proudly for many years.

Until...a few months back I was in a jewelry store when the lady behind the counter noticed my ring. She told me that if I didn't have some prong work done I would lose the diamond. As soon as we got home I put the ring in my jewelry box and haven't worn it since waiting for the extra money to get it fixed. Well, during this downtime I've been thinking and came up with the bright idea to have the ring(s) completely redone. I wanted to combine this ring with my original ring and have this monstrosity of a wedding ring. I have talked about it, envisioned it, dreamed about it...oh MY ring!

As I'm sitting in church yesterday listening to Bro. John's sermon I keep hearing the word "idolatry." I hear this word over and over. I hear how we can take something worldly and put it before God and it doesn't matter how you fancy it up...it makes you an idolater. My rings kept flashing in my mind over and over like a bad movie. Was I making this ring an idol?

The answer is YES! 100% YES! As the day went on yesterday I began to think about diamonds. I thought about how I look at the rings that other women have. I thought about how proud I felt when I wore my ring and it was like I compared my ring to others that I saw. I didn't have this ring because it was the one that Shane bought me to show his love and affection for me...I had this ring because I demanded it. Ouch! Talk about an ego trip. Before we went to church last night I went into my bedroom and pulled out my original engagement ring and wedding ring and placed them on my finger...proudly! These other rings...they are for sale! The need to get out of my house! Me...I don't want to be an idolater! No way, no how and as long as those rings are in my house...that's exactly what I am! What about you? Are there any "idols" in your life?

"Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world...Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us...And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father." Colossians 3:5, 11 & 17 (NLT).