The Silent Treatment

As the night wore on you could feel the tension in the house. Doors were shut a little harder than they normally would be. Footsteps were a little more intense with every push straight to the floor and hot huffy breaths were being exhausted all over the place.

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I walked through the kitchen and looked at Gabe who was sitting quietly at the table doing his homework and we gave each "the look" and winced. Shane and Kristina were arguing. Now, I'm sure in your house you never argue with your teenagers, do you? (heehee)

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So as the night wore on I began to notice that I was the one getting the silent treatment from Kristina. Although she was angry with her Daddy I was the one getting the short end of the stick. The longer the night wore on the angrier I got thinking "what did I do?".

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Before long it was bed time and there was peace...well sort of! I think everyone snored a little louder than usual and maybe a few covers were slung in desperation. You just can't be that mad when you go to bed and expect to sleep in peace and harmony. But, by the time the morning dew had fallen everyone was over their childishness and life moved on as it always tends to do.

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You know we do that with God so many times. We get mad and frustrated and someone or something else but we give God the silent treatment. Instead of running to him and just pouring out our souls and emptying our hearts to Him we run from Him and we act mad at Him. When He is the only cure for our brokenness.

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"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time." Psalm 34:18-19 (NLT). Giving God the silent treatment doesn't do anything but push us farther away from him. We should gravitate towards Him in the good times, the bad times, the sad times, the angry times, the heartbroken times, the funny times, the silly times...the...ALL times.

Happy Birthday...to Me! =)

Well guess what today is? It is my birthday! That's right...I'm 1 year old today! =) On September 28, 2008 I finally got it through my thick skull that I was a sinner. I walked (well actually I think I ran) down the aisle to my pastor and right there in front of our church I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.

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Over the past year alot has changed in my life. Things that were a really big deal, don't seem as big an issue now. Some people have faded out of my life and some new ones have entered. Some people have remained right by my side and cheered me on. My views on things in this world have completely done a 180 and my eyes see things differently now.

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I listen to people talk at ballgames, the store, in line at the courthouse and I hear the pain in their voices. I see teenagers searching for unconditional love but trying to find it in all the wrong places. My job has changed over the past year as well. Although I am still working in the same place...things are different.

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I have learned over the past year to have faith and what it means to actually have faith. I have learned to laugh, cry, pray. I have learned to let go and forgive. I have learned that this world is just a learning process and that my true life only begins when I take my last breath here on earth and enter through the gates of heaven. I have learned that I will make mistakes but grace and mercy reign over me. I have learned that Jesus dying on the cross was enough and there is nothing else that needs to be added to it. I have learned to get along with my husband on days that it isn't easy to get along with him. I have learned to stop controlling my children and let them be who God intends them to be. I have learned that I can't be someone else's Christian.

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Each day I'm learning something new and I wonder if there will come a day where I've got it all figured out. I'm thinking probably not...lol On bad days, I have peace. On good days, I have peace. On days where I'm just not sure what to do, I have peace. On nights where I can't sleep, I have peace. On days when my family is sick, I have peace. On days where there are mud tracks through my almost white carpet, I have a panic attack...lol (got you....)! But...I do have peace.

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Life throws you curve balls and sometimes you swing and hit, sometimes you miss and then sometimes you get a strike. But what I've learned over this past year is that My God is the one throwing me the curve ball, He is the catcher behind me, He is the coach at first base, He is the coach at third base but more importantly He is the head coach of my life!

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"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus." Romans 3:23-26 (NLT).

Fear

As I started running the water for my shower I gathered up a few toys for Kristina, who was not even a year old at the time, and sat her in the middle of the bathroom floor. Shane had already left work, I had dressed Kristina and now I just needed to get myself ready.

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This was our usual routine and as I showered she would sit in the floor and play with her toys. She never crawled off, she never pulled up on anything, she never opened a cabinet door or drawer. Kristina was never my "investigator" and she followed my instructions without discipline most of the time.

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Occasionally I would peek out of the shower curtain to ensure that she was there and although I didn't have my contacts in I could see just well enough to know that she was safe. As I was almost finished bathing I peeked out and noticed that Kristina was crawling away. I began to call her name as I hurriedly finished up. As I flung the shower curtain back I called out to her once more "Kkkkkrrrrriiiiiisssssttttttiiiiinnnnnaaaaa...."
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I wrapped the towel around my body and looked up and all I saw was a male figure standing in the doorway of the bathroom holding my child. I began to scream in a way that I'm sure could have broken glass. I screamed and cried and screamed and cried and the closer the figure came towards me the more I screamed. Once he was within just a few feet I inhaled to scream again when I heard his voice, "Lori, it's me..." It was Shane!

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The fear of that moment has never left me, even some 15 years later. I remember that day just as vividly today as I did the day it happened. The fear that swelled up inside of me was unexplainable. I have been through many things throughout the past 15 years and although I have been scared out of my wits I have never felt that type of fear.

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Our lives are full of valleys and mountains. We have ups and downs. Joy and sadness. It is just this rollercoaster that we are strapped into. I have to remind myself that I am on nothing more than a ride and although I take turns that I often don't like I am learning to just hold on and wait because strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord! I remind myself that although mean people will say mean things to me, about me, my hope lies in Him. He is the everlasting God! He is my strength! He is my comforter! Though others try to defeat me, they will not win!

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"Powerful people harass me without cause, but my heart trembles only at your word." Psalm 119:161 (NLT).

A Divine Appointment

Some days you just need a reminder that He is there and He does care and He is listening! =)
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by: Wendy Blight (www.proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com)
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"He answered, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;' and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Luke 10:27 (NIV)

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Every Memorial Day weekend my friend Karen and I travel with our families to Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina, for five days of rest and relaxation. We just cannot wait to dig our toes in the sand, take long walks on the beach, and enjoy the island's incredible sunsets. Every trip is special, but this most recent trip stood above all others.

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Karen and I ran to the local grocery. Feeding nine people for five days resulted in two carts overflowing with food and supplies. We approached the checkout lines looking for the shortest line. We chose a line with an older woman without a cart. Apparently waiting on someone else, she motioned for us to go ahead of her. Moments later, a young woman scurried up pushing a crying child in a half-full cart. It was clear the older woman was frustrated that they now had to wait behind us, so we offered to give her back her place in line.

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As the young woman and her child passed by me, my heart began to pound. I physically began to tremble. I felt God impressing upon my heart that Karen and I were to buy her groceries. I hesitated, but past experience caused me to obey. I tapped the young woman on the shoulder and spoke these exact words, "I know it sounds strange, but God told me that we are to buy your groceries."
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She graciously accepted with tears in her eyes, and then she and the older woman left. A few minutes later, the older woman returned to share an incredible story. The young woman was her daughter. Her name was Micah.
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Micah's husband had walked out on her and her young son a few months before. He had abused her for years before leaving. She could barely make ends meet and felt completely abandoned by everyone, especially God.

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Days before this God-ordained meeting in the grocery story, Micah and her mother had prayed. Her mother prayed that God would draw Micah back into relationship with Him. Micah prayed, "God, if you are real, if you love me, show Yourself to me!" As her mother shared these words, it was a powerful moment. Micah, in the midst of her deepest sorrow and pain cried out to God for His Presence. Karen and I simply walked in the store that day to complete an ordinary task. And God crossed our paths at one point in time to show each of us He is active, involved, and OH SO REAL!

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Yes, it was a great day for Micah. But what a day it was for Karen and me as well! Our obedience to the Lord's prompting touched this woman's life in such a powerful way that she KNEW He was real and had not abandoned her, and that He answers prayer. A divine appointment ... a day I will treasure forever.

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Heavenly Father, Sovereign Lord, the Great I Am. Thank You that You have planned every day of our lives before we have lived a single day. Thank You that You speak into our lives today. Thank You that You invite us to join You in Your work. Father, give us opportunities to be Your hands and feet. Give us ears to hear and eyes to see the broken and hurting people all around us. Give us a heart of obedience. Give us boldness to speak. May all glory and honor and praise go to You. In Jesus' Name Amen.

In His Time

In His time,

In His time,

He makes all things beautiful

In His time

Lord, please show me everyday

As you're teaching me your way

And I'll do just waht you say

In Your time.

(In His Time)

I heard this song just this past Sunday for the very first time. I smiled as I read the lyrics instead of singing them. Over the past few weeks God has truly been teaching me and Shane to be patient and wait for him.

As most people know, Kristina totaled her car about a month ago and with the car being 15 years old we didn't get a truck load of cash from the insurance company...haha. But, nonetheless we both began to pray seeking God's wisdom for the right car for our daughter. Our finances didn't allow us to squeeze out another payment and what we had in our hands was all we could afford.

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Day after day we searched for a car and came across a 1996 silver Chevrolet Camaro. The car was in good shape on the outside but the guts of the car needed a little work. The man replaced this part and that part. We patiently waited. We spent a few Saturdays looking at other cars but we both just felt that the Lord was leading us to this silver Camaro. We stood still and waited (a few times I stomped my feet though...lol). Wait, wait, wait and then we got the call. The man told us that the car was going to need more work than he thought and he just wanted us to understand that we needed to find another car.

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What?!?!? We both knew that God had this silver Camaro for her. We were both dumbfounded and just didn't understand. So, this past Saturday we woke up and went car shopping IN THE RAIN! Yeah...she'll remember that one for years to come...I'll make sure of that! heehee And as we searched every door that we tried to open seemed locked. We both sighed and I even cried at one point. Total frustration, I just didn't understand what God was trying to say.

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Then, we pull into this little "buy here/pay here" place and as we round the corner we see a 1995 silver Camaro. Shane gets out and looks at the car and I simply sit in the car in defiance. He comes back to the truck and says "Let's give it a test drive." I unwillingly get out of the truck and peek at the car while he filled out insurance information and got the keys. We piled in and cranked the car when all of a sudden a monsoon started! I thought we were test driving this car in the midst of Hurricane Gussy!

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"No, no, no" I protested "This is NOT the car for her. I feel uneasy in here."

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Shane just patiently kept driving. We ended up a friend's house who looked over the car for us and I stood in the background listening to every single word they said. The friend told us the car looked good, it looked real good. On the way back to the lot Shane began to ask me what I thought and I told him I didn't know what to do but I would support any decision he made.

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As we parked the car and walked into the office Shane began to talk to the owner. He explained our situation to her and how much money we had and low and behold a deal was made and after a few exchanges of money, paperwork and keys the car was ours.

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I do believe God chuckled at that one. I can just see my Father sitting in Heaven saying "How'd you like that one? Yeah, I pulled a fast one on you this time....hahahahahahahaha" (I guess in my mind God laughs like Santa Clause does...heehee).

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"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT). I didn't see the whole scope of God's work in our lives these past few weeks. I was completely confused but yet we remained steadfast. Honestly, this was the first test of this type that Shane and I faced as a team since I was saved. I wavered a little here and there but in the end we were patient and in His time he made everything beautiful!

Finding Shelter

by: Mary DeMuth (www.proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com)

"And I say, 'Oh that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest." Psalm 55:6-8 (ESV)

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I'm not normally one to sense family secrets about people's lives, but this time I did. The moment "Sarah" walked through my front door for a Bible study, God whispered to me, "She needs help."

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A few weeks later she asked if I could come over and talk.

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She welcomed me to an immaculate house and peppered me with questions about how I managed our home. At first I answered her questions directly, but as she kept asking, I realized she was really asking something else: Why can't I be enough for my husband's expectations? She seemed frightened, jumpy.

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That day my new friend Sarah confessed that her husband abused her. Emotionally. Physically. Psychologically. I prayed for her, gave her my phone number, and felt her burden in my gut.She called after a violent episode, her two children crying in the back of her car. "I'm afraid," she told me.

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I encouraged her to come over. Nearly at that moment, a friend of mine arrived and, through a series of God-moments, we worked together to get Sarah and her two children to a safe place.

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In doing so, we feared for our safety. Her husband stalked us, called us in the middle of the night screaming. During one conversation, my husband asked him, "Why are you in seminary?"

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"Because I want to pastor people." He said it as if the answer were obvious.

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My husband cleared his throat in the quiet of our room. "If you can't shepherd your own family, you can't expect to shepherd others."

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The man erupted, spewing obscenities. "She just needs to learn to submit!" With that, he hung up.

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Since this time, we've encountered several hurting women married to men who pursued, or were active in, ministry. These women felt trapped, worried, and afraid. And because their husbands held the position they did, these wives didn't know how to find a safe place.

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As a fiction author, I have written a series of novels with the purpose of exposing this kind of pain in Christian families. I didn't write to impugn or to harass, but to shed light on a sad reality. So that silent sufferers wouldn't feel alone. So that redemption could shine on such a dark family canvas.

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Do you know a "Sarah"? Whether she is a friend, acquaintance, or the woman you look at each day in the mirror, there is something you can do. Pray fervently that God will give you the wisdom to find shelter. Pray for the courage to tell the truth, or to be a safe place for her to tell the truth. And believe that no one "deserves" punishment, violence, or verbal thrashings by a spouse. Remember that God's heart for marriage is unity, mutual understanding, longsuffering, love that overlooks shortfalls, and camaraderie.

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May we all seek God's design for marriage and may those who need to find shelter hurry towards it.

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Dear Lord, whether I am a Sarah, or a friend of a Sarah, give me wisdom. Make me aware if You desire for me to take a role in helping someone. I give You everything, including my fears, worries, and stress. Shine Your light on my family, I pray. And lead me to Your safe place. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

What Does It Matter?

Since Kristina and I missed our Sunday services the weekend we went to the beach, I called the church and had them mail me a CD of that particular weekend. It arrived yesterday and I couldn't wait to get in the car this morning and start listening. It was the Sunday before Labor Day and Bro. John's sermon was about work and being lazy.

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As I listened my heart was pricked because there are so many days that I come into work and half heartily perform my job. I think most everyone is that way but that still doesn't give me any sort of excuse. What really struck me was when he said "If you go to work and goof off and don't do your job do not tell people you are a member of this church!! Being a lazy employee will make you lose your witness!"

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Phew...those words burned through me like a hot poker. I had never even considered the fact that my laziness would make me loose my witness to my fellow co-workers. Then I got to thinking that if I slack on my responsibilities at work without thinking twice about it then I slack at home and everywhere else as well. If I'm lazy one place then I'm lazy everywhere!! It doesn't matter what my job is...being a secretary, cleaning the house, washing clothes, cooking supper, working the concession stand at the football game, cutting grass...it doesn't matter how small I think the job is I should be doing it to glorify God to keep my witness!

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"He said to me, 'You are my servant, Israel, and you will bring me glory.' I replied, 'But my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the Lord’s hand; I will trust God for my reward.'” Isaiah 49:3-4 (NLT).

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Work is never useless because He brought us to that job for a reason. And, everything should be placed in the Lord's hands and our trust should forever remain in Him! As Bro. John said on that Sunday morning "There's no room for laziness around here!" Ouch!! Guess I better get myself to work today! =)

Oops, My Mistake

When the phone rang I recognized the caller i.d. to be my boss' cell phone. "I'm here at the courthouse but I'm the only attorney here. Are you sure you have the right date on my calendar?" My heart sank for just a moment because I had only worked for him for just a few weeks. I was still trying to find my way and figure things out and me sending him to a county in south Alabama on the wrong day wasn't a problem I was wanting to deal with.

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"Ummm, yes, this is the right date" I stammered.

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"Well, you need to find out what is going on" he said with a flustered tone in his voice. Which, I completely understood! As he was talking I began to click through the files trying to figure out what was going on. He continued, "I had to leave my house at 4:00 this morning just to be here by 9:00 and now there is nobody..." His voice sort of faded into the background as I realized that I had sent him to the wrong county! I had the right date, the right time but the wrong place!

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My heart began to beat so fast I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. I swallowed and interrupted his tirade and softly said "You're supposed to be in Montgomery County..." I sat there waiting for his response and let's just say response is most definitely what I got. He hit the roof! And, I can't say that I blame him. But nonetheless it was a frightening experience. By the end of it all I was crying, he was yelling and nothing seemed to be fixing the problem.

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All was well in the end though. I called the Judge (who was a sweet grandfather type man) in the "right" county, had his legal assistant pull him off the bench and I begged and cried and pleaded with him explaining my stupidity. He, however, was good as gold. He reassured me this wasn't the worst thing in the world I could have done and gave me instructions for my boss which I quickly relayed to him.

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For the remainder of my employment with this particular attorney I stayed on my toes. I was ever conscious of making a mistake and having to deal with his explosive reactions. We all come in contact with people who can make it difficult for us to just do our normal routines. Maybe it is our boss or our spouse or maybe it's our children but there are those people that make us feel as though we can't do anything right.

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"Then the local residents tried to discourage and frighten the people of Judah to keep them from their work." Ezra 4:4 (NLT). Now, I'm not a Bible scholar and I surely don't know what this entire story is about but, when I read this passage it meant alot to me. This passage gave me courage to keep my head down and forge ahead. I'm going to come in contact with tons of people who try to discourage me and frighten me but, it is up to me if I allow them to succeed. See, I have work to do here on this earth and it is up to ME to get it done...not them! I choose to allow someone else's words, actions, explosive personality, etc. to dictate how I handle a situation. What about you? Do you allow the local residents to discourage and frighten you?

Finding God in the Laundry Room

I am complely suffering from writer's block today. As I sat at my computer my mind was blank. After reading this devotional I understand why! I need this devotional today. I needed to find God in my every day routine. So, I thought maybe you might enjoy it as well.

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Finding God in the Laundry Room by: Lara Krupicka (proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com)

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"The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." 1 Samuel 17:37a (NIV)

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As I carry a load of clothes into my laundry room, I glance at the breakfast dishes in the sink and the piles of toys in the family room. Here we go again, I think. Another day of cooking and cleaning that will only be repeated again tomorrow. What is the point of it all? Why am I stuck with such a meaningless existence? When will I ever get to spend my days doing things that have a lasting impact?

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Everyday life can be so uninspiring at times. I want action and excitement. I want something to happen. But then when it does (like the day the washing machine overflowed into my basement), I get all out of sorts. I have a hard time handling the disruption to my simple routine. This is not the kind of excitement I'm wanting, I think to myself. I grumble and complain my way through the problems that come my way.

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When I consider this verse from 1 Samuel, I realize that, unlike me, David had learned the benefit of being faithful in seemingly insignificant work. He did not despise the lonely job of shepherd. Instead day in and day out he patiently watched in the fields, making sure the sheep didn't wander or get eaten. He took his work seriously, and in doing so he trusted God to be with him in the simple task of herding sheep. He didn't say that once he was a mighty warrior like his older brothers were, then he would trust God. He did it right where he was. Then when trouble came to his quiet field, in the form of a lion or a bear, it was God he relied on to come to his aid.

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This dependence of David's is what prepared him for one of the turning point moments in his life. He was able to face the giant Goliath with confidence, not because he'd fought in many battles. He could do this because he'd seen God work in the everyday and knew God would show up on the battlefield too.

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I still have a lot to learn about dependence on God. Yet I know that as I depend on Him in the routine tasks of my life, He is preparing me for circumstances yet to come. When I turn to Him in the midst of my laundry room troubles, I experience His care for me and I grow in my ability to know that He will "deliver me" from things both great and small. And in my dependence on God, the chores of cooking, cleaning and laundry begin to take on meaning. My life isn't as pointless as it once seemed.

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Dear Lord, thank You for being with me today. Help me to see You in the mundane things of my life and show me how You can bring significance to those things. Teach me dependence on You as You taught the young shepherd, David. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Rivers

As I laid down in bed after spending a night on the river I could still feel the waves flowing through my body. We had been on the river all day long it seemed like and had the best time but after a while my body was beginning to feel like it was one with the river. Up and down, up and down. My Dad was in the Navy and sometimes I wonder how he even walked after being aboard ship for so long! I most definitely get sea legs after just a few hours.

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I tossed and turned trying to go to sleep but with every breath my head felt the motion of floating along the river. It's funny how the river just carries you. It has a purpose and a destination. Unless you drop anchor you are at the river's mercy and heaven only knows where you'll end up!

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I recently had the wonderful opportunity of attending a Beth Moore simulcast at our church and she really stressed the importance of memorizing scripture. I'm ashamed to say that as of today I haven't done that but then I read John 7:38 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” (NLT).

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Wow! Rivers of living water surely don't flow from my mouth! I don't know scripture, can barely quote anything. In times of trouble when my Bible is not handy I have nothing to stand on. I have nothing to carry me downstream. I think it is about time that I dive into His word and spend so much time that I feel the motion of His words carrying me up and down, up and down...what about you? Do you have rivers of living water flowing?

Hidden Cheerios

As I started the task of cleaning her room I immediately became ill. Kristina was three years old at the time and there was stuff everywhere! Toys were piled up to the ceiling it seemed like. She had shoved things under her bed, in her closet, under the toy box and don't even get me started on what she had shoved into her dresser drawers.

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With each tug and pull I became more and more ill. She stood at the doorway crying every time I shoved a broken toy (those annoying McDonald's toys!) into the garbage bag because it was her "most prized possession" or so she thought.

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Within about fifteen minutes of my cleaning spree I came across a stash of cheerios. They were all grouped in a nice, neat pile hidden inside one of her green "kitchen pots" that she played with. She had the lid tightly closed and had the pot stuck inside the oven to her kitchen set.

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"What is this about?" I asked her.

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"Ummmm....those are mine!" she stated. Mind you, she was pretty ill at this point and with big crocodile tears streaming down her face she was not only heartbroken that I was throwing her possessions away she was mad as fire that I had stepped into her territory.

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I took the Cheerios and tossed them in the garbage bag and I told her that she can't keep food in her room or else she'll have ants crawling everywhere. She began to wail and scream as if I had just thrown out the greatest thing known to man! "But, they is mine!" she cried.

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I remember stopping the cleaning process because I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere, I picked her up and we sat on the couch and watched a movie. The cleaning could wait until she was asleep!

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How many times in life do we hold on to our Cheerios? We put the lid on ever so tightly and hide it in the oven of our kitchen so that no one can see it or take it. We hold onto them with everything we have in us but then we question why we are so sad, why we don't have peace. Luke 14:33 says "So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own." (NLT). Everything you own, in my opinion, not only means our earthly possessions but also the stuff that we tuck away and hide in our hearts. Jealousy. Fear. Anxiety. Hatred. Selfishness. Worry. Despair. Anger. We must throw out all of that "junk" before we can follow Him. How do we throw it all away? Hmmmm, I wish I had an answer for you because as I'm sitting here typing these words my heart is being tugged at as well! Many, many things I hide. I'm good at throwing out other people's things but I seem to struggle with throwing out my own... Where are your Cheerios today?

Met In The Stairwell

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news on September 11th, 2001, neither will I.

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I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say goodbye.

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I held his fingers steady as he dialed.

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I gave him the peace to say “honey I’m not going to make it.”

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I was with his wife when he called.

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I held her up as she realized he wasn’t coming home that night.

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I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to me for help.

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“I have been knocking on the door of your heart for fifty years,” I said.

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I was at the base of the building with the priest, ministering to the injured.

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I took him home to tend to his flock in heaven.

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I was on all four of those planes, with every seat, with every prayer.

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I was with the crew as they were overtaken.

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I was in the hearts of the very frightened souls, comforting and assuring them that there faith had saved them.

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I want you to know that I saw every face.

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I knew every name, but not all of you knew me.

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Some met me for the very first time on the 86th floor.

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Some sought me with their last breath.

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Some chose for the final time to ignore me, but I was there.

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I did not place you in the tower that day.

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You may not know why, but I do.

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September 11th, 2001 was not the end of the journey for you, but someday your journey will end and I will be there for you as well.

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Seek me now while I may be found, for I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

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God bless you all.

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Author: Stacey Randall

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"...be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 (NLT)

A Whole New Attitude

"So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective." Colossians 3:1-2 (MSG).

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As we slipped our flip flops off and took that last step off the boardwalk into the sand I immediately felt joy run through my body. As I walked I squished my toes and made sure to take each step slowly so that I could enjoy every single minute! As we headed up towards the sand dunes where the sand was a lot thicker and untouched I began to look at all the footprints. I thought of that wonderful poem "Footprints" and began trying to walk in someone else's prints...literally walking in someone else's shoes.

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As the girls posed for pictures and we stood there sinking further into the sand I couldn't help but look around me at the sunset, the waves, the people still left on the beach and I was filled with nothing but joy. I had a totally new attitude! There was peace there. No bills, no worries, no bosses, no co-workers, no annoyance of every day life...I was at the place where peace lives. I even mentioned to my friend that one of my favorite things about the beach is that no matter where you stand or sit you can see the curvature of the earth and it reminds you that you are but a speak in this world.

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Now that I am back to reality and the stresses of every day life I have been thinking about that attitude that I had while I was at the beach and the attitude that I have now. They are totally different! I think I have it figured out! Maybe you don't like the beach so this analogy won't make much sense so you just take a moment and think about your favorite place where every time you go you find peace...the mountains...home...wherever...I'll wait while you think.......

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Okay, this is my analogy....the beach changes my attitude because instead of looking at worldly things I can't help but look at Christ things! With every single day and every single sound, touch, sight I kept saying over and over "God is so good!" "How can people look at the beach and not believe?" "God is such a wonderful painter!" "God can move sand with nothing but water!" Every little thing I looked at I saw my Father! He was everywhere around me! When you find Christ in every little thing your attitude is totally different! Why? Because our eyes are focused on HIM not US! Ouch!!!! That really hurts because this week my attitude has not been so good..... What about yours? Have you had an attitude adjustment lately? Do you need one?

Never Ending!

This past holiday weekend my friend, Kim, and her daughter, Cori, Kristina and myself all went to the beach for a girl's weekend. Oh we had so much fun. The weather was nice on Saturday and we spent pretty much the entire day just sitting and looking at the ocean. We all laid on our chairs squishing sand with our fingers and toes. The sun, the wind, the smell...*sigh* it was all wonderful!

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But, the trip down there seemed to take forever! We left around 9:00 Friday night and with ever mile we drove it seemed like another mile was added on. At one point Kim said "I promise you there is a little man putting more and more road in front of us so that we never get there!" That became our joke and theme for the week along with a few other things and every time we went somewhere we fussed at the little man for making the road longer and longer!

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Sometimes in life you get in situations where you feel like you are never going to make to the end. It seems like you are holding onto a rope with everything you have and the more you pull and tug on that rope the more rope there is to pull and tug on. It is as if someone is standing there adding to the length of the rope. Did you ever stop to think that it just isn't time for you reach the end yet? Sometimes at the end our hearts get broken and then sometimes our hearts get blessed but we only reach the end of that rope when it is time...His time.

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When it is time for you to reach the end of your rope, your Father is there waiting for you and although you have pulled on that rope for the very last time and you think you are going to fall he is there to catch you! "The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time." Psalm 34:19 (NLT). He is our rescue! He is our refuge! He is our comforter! He is our strength! He is our friend! He is our provider! He is our Father! He is our SAVIOR!

The Bigger Picture

From time to time I come across a devotional that just really touches me and today is no different. There is absolutely no way to re-create this so I have simply cut and pasted it onto my blog for you to enjoy. It's funny how you always hear the right words at just the right time...

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The Bigger Picture by T. Suzanne Eller, Proverbs 31 Ministries

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"Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains." James 5:7 (NIV)

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I overheard a conversation while in an airport. I wanted to jump into the dialogue, but I had a plane to catch and more importantly, I would have to admit that I was eavesdropping, so I moved on. "He's just in it for the money," the man said while we waited in line at security. He named the author of a best-selling Christian book. "It's simplistic. Over-hyped. I can't believe it's sold so many copies." This conversation made me think about my daughter's best friend, Emily.

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When I first met Emily she was a new believer. Occasionally our pastor would ask families to pray together. On those Sundays we open ed our arms and Emily joined us. But as much as she loved the Ellers, it wasn't her family.

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Her parents didn't understand her faith. Her older brother mocked her faith.

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Emily went on mission trips. She was involved in youth group. She left for college and organized campus ministries, and even traveled to Africa to minister to children with AIDS. The longing for her family to love Jesus intensified, but from the outside looking in it appeared that her prayers were hitting the ceiling.

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What Emily didn't know is that her brother was watching closely. His little sister's faith had grown and now she was a woman of faith.

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One day he bought a book and read it straight through the night. Somewhere between dark and dawn Emily's Savior became his. In the next few months he led his fiance to Christ. He shared his faith with his parents, and now that both of their children's lives had been changed, they too became believers.

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That was four years ago. Recently Emily came home to visit her family, and they all came to church. I couldn't help but look back with excitement when I heard these words, "Could families gather together and pray?" Emily walked down the aisle. Her family wrapped her in their arms. It was a beautiful sight.

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And the book that the man in the airport said was simplistic and overhyped? That was the very book that Emily's brother read that changed his life. It was an answer to a faithful girl's prayers. What does this have to do with you and me? As a writer, every day I'm in my home-office wearing jeans and a T-shirt writing on a laptop, hoping that someone might actually hear the message. But I can't see the bigger picture. I don't know if the words are making a difference or not. All I know is that God called me to communicate a message and to be faithful to that call.

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Maybe there are days that you struggle, too. Maybe all you hear are the negative comments like those of the man in the airport. But does that mean that nothing good is happening? Absolutely not!

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When I think of Emily, I am encouraged to place my ministry in God's hands and allow Him to do the miracles while I type one word at a time.Will you trust Him to do miracles with your faith and your work as well?

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Dear Father, I don't always see the bigger picture, but You do. Today I place my discouragement and comments of others in Your hands. Thank You for wisdom, encouragement, and renewed joy as I trust You with the bigger picture. Amen.

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I can't even title this one today. On my way to work I was on the phone with a friend of mine who was telling me about some sill high school girl drama that involved Kristina. In the midst of the conversation I popped off at the mouth saying that I hoped Kristina just gave this other girl what for and we would deal with whatever consequences that came our way.

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As I walked in my office building I was seething with every single step. Chewing out of the side of my mouth and huffing like a bull the entire way. I just don't understand why kids have to be so mean? I can't wait until she graduates! Blah blah blah...all these thoughts were racing through my head.

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Then it happened. I came into the office, sat down at my desk and opened my "scripture tree" to get my daily word. I still had steam billowing out of my ears when I read John 14:21 "Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.” (NLT).

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Wow! Instead of popping off saying that I hoped Kristina handled this girl and showed her some force I should have said that I hope that Kristina turns the other cheek, that she shows this girl what a true witness she is...I should have said alot of things! I pray that my sweet, precious daughter handles herself today with the dignity and grace that I know she possesses.

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Isn't God good? He always has a way of giving me my spanking right when I need it. He don't let me simmer on it for a few hours and then get me. Give it to me now!! Praise the Lord!

Revenge

"They don't even know who they are messing with!" Oh gracious I have spoken those words more times than I can count. I used to say that I wasn't the type of person who held a grudge but I was the type of person to get revenge...like there was a difference! Over this past year I have slowly but surely seen that God has taken the sin of revenge away from me..THANK YOU JESUS! It nearly ate me alive.

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However, as sin has a way of doing I can sense it creeping back in from time to time. I notice it more when I feel like my children have been done wrong or mistreated. The ole momma hen in me starts squawking and next thing you know I'm pecking on somebody's head! [Short side note story...when I was in the first grade my uncle had chickens. His hen had some little baby chicks and he told me to go inside the hen house and get the baby chick and that the momma wouldn't do anything to me. Well, I followed his instructions and as I was walking out with that baby chick that momma hen flogged my head and started pecking on me and girlfriend let me tell you that before I could put that baby chick down and get outside to my Momma she was doing some flogging and pecking of her own on my uncle's head! Us momma hens have a natural way of doing that don't we?...lol]

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So, anyway, back to the jest of today...revenge/grudge is something I personally struggle with on a daily basis. If I'm honest the revenge/grudge can be traced back to jealousy which if you look at the post from yesterday you will see that takes the bite out of my delight. Therefore, I was looking at Luke this morning using The Message and let me tell you I love and I mean I LOVE the way this is worded. Check this out:

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"To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously." Luke 6:27-30 (MSG)

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So, how about that? No tit-for-tat stuff. Guess that was directed directly towards me. Let your enemies bring out the best in you. Uhmmm...I like that concept. Since when did I/we give people the power to make us unhappy? It's not their fault, it's our fault. I am the type of person who likes to be in control and feel like I have all my eggs in the basket but I am learning that instead of trying to control worldly things I need to turn my focus on controlling my relationship with Christ because every day that I spend controlling something here on earth is just another day that I am walking further away from my Father! Ouch! That hurt! What about you? Where are you standing in relation to your Father today?

Bite Out Of Your Delight

Well...I'm stealing this one from Beth Moore but I just absolutely enjoyed attending the simulcast last weekend that I cannot get over it! But, ain't that a good thing? Not getting over our Lord Jesus Christ!!

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So, anyway, during the simulcast she began to talk about three ways that your delight can be stolen and these three things all boil down to issues that WE have...not other people. She used the acronym of JAW because your jaw is the one that bites things. Okay, stay with me here and you'll understand...

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J - Jealousy "Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong." Psalm 37:1 (NLT). How many times do we get so wrapped up in what someone else has or what we think we must have to keep up with everyone else that we begin to be unhappy? I've been thinking and I have realized that jealousy doesn't mean just being jealous of someone else's possessions. You can be jealous of someone at work who seems to never get in trouble, they are always able to come in late, leave early and you are micro-managed to the point of frustration. That jealousy can steal the bite out of your delight!

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A - Anger "Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm." Psalm 37:8 (NLT). Oh how I struggle with this one. I get so worked up about things that before I know I'm fuming mad and then that attitude rubs off on those around me and then makes a bad situation even worse! I carry my feelings on my sleeves and trust me, that ain't a good thing! I am learning that any forgiveness issues I have can all be traced right back to anger! Ouch...that hurts!!

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W - Worry "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes." Psalm 37:7 (NLT). Worry, worry, worry...that should be my middle name. I worry about my kids, my job, my husband, my friends, bills, the future, etc., etc., etc. I have passed this horrible trait onto my children and as Beth Moore stood there and began to talk more and more about worry I became so convicted! I must and I repeat I must let go, stop being so controlling and put it in God's hands. I'm very good at saying that I need to do this but, my actions say something totally different.

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I hope you remember this! It has truly helped me over the past few days. Don't allow Jealousy, Anger and Worry to steal the bite out of your delight. After all, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires." Psalm 37:4 (NLT).

Despised By The World

Have you ever felt hated? Have you ever walked down a hall, into an office, through a doorway and felt as though everyone in the room was staring at you with the look of disgust on their face? Oh I have and I can't stand that feeling. I work in an office full of women and although I attempt to stay to myself I often times have run-ins with other office personnel who just seem to be the most unhappiest people ever!

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I have smiled, tried to chit-chat, be friendly, get to know them, be of some assistance...all of it. Anything I can think of I have tried but for whatever reason there are a few women in my office that we just don't seem to gel. I guess that's the way it goes in life. Some people you get along with and some people you don't.

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I used to let it bother me and then I just got over it. I mean it's me...seriously...who wouldn't like ME?!?!? lol Oh I'm just teasing but the truth of the matter is that is just life. I went to a Beth Moore Simulcast this past weekend and she was talking about how upset she gets when someone doesn't like her. She has this need to be liked and to a point I get that but then again I don't. I've always just let stuff like that roll off my back and moved on. No harm - no foul. Women are often caddy and rude one minute and the very next we are sweet and kind. Why? I have not a clue! If I did I bet I could make millions selling the secret to all the men of the world! lol

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Anyway, in those times when I just feel frustrated, anxious, upset that I'm getting those glares I remind myself that people didn't like Noah. They thought he was nuts! I'm reminded of Job and how everyone was telling him to just give up but he never did! But most of all I think about Jesus. Think about what he went through. No one in history has ever been despised as much as he was. So when you are feeling like you don't fit in or that you are being despised by the world just remember John 15:18 "If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first." (NLT).