Not Enough Time

You jump in the car and fly to the store. Then you run through the store like a crazy woman tapping your toe at every aisle because some little Granny is comparing prices. You sling your groceries onto the conveyor belt and tap your toe because the 16 year old cashier is too busy flirting with the customer behind you to actually do her job. You throw your groceries in your buggy and all but run out of the store.

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You load your bags, crank your car and realize you need gas. Fly into the gas station on two wheels, ram the shifter up into park, jump out and pump the gas. The tanks are low so it slowly ticks by. $1.00.....$3.00.....$5.00. By this time you are no longer tapping your toe, you are jumping up and down stomping your feet! Finally you fill up and jump back in the car.

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You weave in and out of traffic, cutting people off, screaming at the car in front of you, taking curves on two wheels and calling home giving orders of what needs to happen as soon as you pull up. You make it home, sling the car door open and unload the groceries. You basically throw them in the kitchen floor and yell out for someone to help put them up. Once the groceries are put up, you load up again and head to basketball/soccer/football/softball/baseball practice.

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At the park you are the social woman of the hour. You chit chat with other Moms. You talk about your day and your house and the new carpet you want. You talk about who is dating who and how bad you feel for those parents whose kids are acting out. You gossip, you whisper and occassionally you yell at your child to pay attention.

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The minute practice is over you jump in the car and fly home to only run around cooking supper, doing laundry, helping with homework. You bark out orders, fling food onto plates, throw the dogs food in their bowl and all but throw it across your porch. You run around the house like the Tazmanian Devil and wonder why no one helps you out. In frustration you get everyone down for the night and crawl into bed, take a breath and close your eyes to only wake up and do it all again the next day.

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Did you stop and hug your child in the midst of all of this? Did you tell your husband that you love him? Did you thank your boss for buying your lunch? Did you smile at the man in the grocery store parking lot who is going into the store to buy groceries for only one since his wife just recently died? Did you notice the girl on the other side of the gas pump counting out coins to put gas in her car because she is down to nothing? Did you notice that one of the cars you cut off in traffic was a 15 year old girl just learning how to drive and was absolutely terrified driving in traffic? Did you know that the Mom that you and your friends were gossiping about just found out that she is dying of cancer and her kid just doesn't know how to handle it? Did you stop and witness to anyone? Did you share the love of Christ and what he has done for your life with anyone in the midst of your craziness?

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Isaiah 43:10 says "'You are my witnesses,' declares the Lord, 'and my servant whom I have chosen...'" It is so easy to get caught up in the every day hustle and bustle. I am the worlds worst about it. I lay down at night and begin to replay my day and I get so frustrated at myself and things I missed. One day my kids will be grown and on their own and I won't have that time to hug them whenever I want or sit up past bed time to talk about nonsense. I rush past people never stopping to think about what struggle they are having in their lives. I must remind myself time and time again that not only are my words a witness for Christ but so are my actions! He has chosen me and you to be his witness.

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Always remember....we are not just preparing ourselves for battle here on earth we are also preparing ourselves to worship him for eternity!

Just A Dream

The past few days I have been sick with a cold. My voice cracks in and out like a young man going through puberty. My breath has the constant stench of Halls and cough syrup. By the time I get home in the afternoons I am so exhausted that I end up cat napping on the couch for about an hour or so and then by the time I go to bed I can't sleep. Last night was no different.

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I tossed and turned for several hours with Gabe right up under me. Shane is on the graveyard shift this week and Gabe usually becomes my "bed bug" during this week. I finally drifted off to sleep somewhere around midnight. I remember Shane coming home and waking me up enough to ask me if I was okay. I asked him for a Halls because my throat hurt and after shoving that in my mouth I rolled over and went back to sleep.

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I drifted off into an awful dream! I don't remember all the details or exactly what happened in the dream but the basic root of it was Shane died! I tried so hard to wake myself up but couldn't. I can remember thinking "When is this dream going to end?" I remember explaining to people in my dream how I just didn't understand how he died because he had just given me a Halls just before and it made no sense to me. The dream went on and on, forever it seemed like.

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I finally woke up and sat straight up in the bed. I tried to scream "SHANE!" but with my voice being so hoarse nothing would come out. I started feeling around in the bed and realized that it was Gabe laying beside me and not Shane. Fear started washing over me and I started thinking "Was it a dream? Is Shane really dead? What's going on?" I jumped out of the bed and started running down the hallway towards the living room. I was screaming "SHANE!" as loud as I could but it was nothing more than a squeak.

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As I came into the living room he was in the process of jumping out of the recliner knowing something was wrong. By this point I was in hysterics. I couldn't talk for crying and with my voice being so hoarse he really couldn't understand what I was saying. He just kept reassuring me that he was okay and it was just a dream.

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He came back into our room, woke Gabe up and got him down in his own room and laid down with me. I was still whimpering and almost panicked. My heart was broken even though I knew it was just a dream. "I don't see how people do it" I said.

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"What do you mean?" he asked.

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"I don't understand how people are able to function as a whole person after their other half has died!" I cried.

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Shane really didn't know what to say. He just laid there trying to reassure me that everything was okay. And, even though I knew it was, I was just heart broken. I was heart broken over the mere thought of losing him. I was heart broken for the women who were laying in their bed for the first time after losing their other half. I was heart broken for the mother's who were laying in bed weeping after losing their child. I couldn't stop crying and even though I cried myself back to sleep I must have continued to cry for some time because when I woke up my eyes were crusted over with dried tears.

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As I was going through my morning routine I just couldn't help but shake the impact this dream had on me. I am comforted to know that there will come a day where there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more fear, no more heartache, no more sadness. There will be a day where there is nothing but joy, worship, songs of praise, happiness, peace. Revelation 21:4 says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain..." Are you ready for that day? Do you know that when you take your last breath you will be in the presence of Jesus who will hold you close, wipe away your tears and enter you into his glory? If you are not sure of your eternity let today be the day that you make the decision.

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Romans 10:9 "...if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

Are You Lost?

As we walked through the mall doors the air was full of the smell of cinnamon buns. We always go through the exact same mall entrance every single time. We even went through this same entrance when we dated. Funny how you tend to get in a rut over silly things like that. Gabe was almost 2 but not quite and Kristina was going on 6. The mall was a scary place back then because kids age 6 and 2 never pay attention to where they are going or where you are going and losing them was always a fear of mine. But, this trip was different because we were going with Shane's family so my worry radar wasn't quite as high on this trip.

After walking around for several hours we all found our way to the arcade. My boys love the arcade and even to this day if they ever find an arcade your trip is over. Kristina and I end up sitting on a bench somewhere chit chatting while the two of them play endlessly until every quarter in their pockets is gone.

The place wasn't that big so the sound of the bells ringing from this game or that game were bouncing off the walls and seemed almost double in volume. There were arcade games in every nook and cranny of this place and even though the walls were painted black the place was lit up like a Christmas tree with all the blinking lights on every single game.

Everyone sort of stood around trying to decide what they were going to do and my first words to everyone was "Watch Gabe!" The arcade was directly across from an escalator and at 2 years old escalators were Gabe's favorite thing. The moment he found an escalator you would spend hours going up and down, up and down and when you finally had enough you would have to pull him away kicking and screaming "Just one more time!"

Kristina had decided to try and win a stuffed animal so I took her by the hand and looked at everyone else and repeated "Watch Gabe!" Back towards the back of the arcade Kristina and I went. After a few failed attempts to win a stuffed animal she was done with the whole arcade thing. She not only wanted to give up on winning her prize she was ready to go home. I took her by the hand and we started walking towards the middle of the arcade. Surrounded by several gaming machines stood Shane and the rest of his family talking. I started looking at each adult and all of their arms were empty. I looked down around their feet trying to locate whose feet Gabe was stepping on to only find out he wasn't playing in the forest of legs.

"Where's Gabe?" I asked.

Everyone stopped, stared at each other and replied "He said he was coming to find you."

"Coming to find me? I don't have him!" I started to panic. "He is only 2 years old! You can't allow him to come find me! You have to take him by the hand and bring him TO ME!" I could feel a lump in my throat start to build and my eyes filled with tears.

"GABE!" I screamed. "GABE!"

I began to hurriedly look around gaming machines walking towards the back of the arcade where I had been yelling the entire time "GABE!" Everyone else just stood in the middle of the arcade as if I had lost my mind. I walked back towards Shane, looked him dead in the eyes and I said "I DON'T HAVE HIM! He is LOST! Find my baby!!!!" At those words it was if it finally clicked with him and everyone else what I was saying. I'm not sure if they didn't fully hear me at first or maybe they were sort of in shock. As I turned my head I saw the escalators. "Shane he is only 2....if he went down those escalators...." Shane turned and within 3 steps he was at the entrance of the arcade. I turned around and continued looking behind things, under things, in between things and yelling the entire time "GABE!"

About that time I turned around and there Shane stood holding Gabe. Gabe had this grin on his face like he had just been on the greatest adventure EVER! I snatched him from Shane's arms and wrapped that baby so tight in my arms I am surprised I didn't break any bones. I sat down in the floor of the arcade, holding him, checking him over and crying.

"Where, where was he?" I said sniffling.

"In the helicopter right there at the door. I was fixing to walk out into the mall when I looked over and saw his reflection in the window. He was just sitting in the helicopter right there playing. He wasn't lost....we were!"

Hebrews 13:8 says "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." He doesn't get lost, we do! He never moves, he never hides, he never turns his back to us. We wander around in the wilderness like a bunch of fools wondering why God has forsaken us. Stop looking under something, in between something or behind something, look in front of you because what you will see is God's reflection in the window because he is standing right beside you. Standing in the same place he has always been standing!

Stand in Awe

As the alarm clock rolled over to 6:00 AM it started beeping. With every beep my weekend was replaying in my mind. Beep...caught my dryer on fire. Beep...Gabe got sick in the middle of nowhere trying to go visit an ill friend. Beep...was outside in the freezing cold trying to fill in holes in the yard after the dog went on a digging rampage. I finally rolled over, hit the off button, rolled back over to see Gabe snoozing away. It was a school holiday and with Shane and Kristina in Tennessee over the weekend for a youth trip Gabe had been keeping me company at night.

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"I'm going to call in and relax today after a crazy weekend" I thought to myself. I hopped up, grabbed my cell phone and started the calling in process. It didn't take me very long and within ten minutes tops I was snuggled back up under the covers and was snoozing again. Gabe and I were picture perfect and I'm sure if you looked hard enough you could see Z's floating up from the bed as we snored.

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Both of us finally woke up and got moving around 10AM. Since he was out of school and I wasn't going to work I decided to go ahead and take him for his allergy shot. We both showered, dressed and out the door we went. We talked all the way to the doctor's office and almost raced into the building because the wind was blowing so hard it felt like it could blow you over! Gabe ran in the door first and rounded the corner to the elevators before I even crossed the threshold. I could see the elevator door was open but he was just standing there.

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"Go on, son, this elevator is going up and so are we" I said.

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He just stood there. Mouth gaped open, eyes bugging out of his head, knuckles all but resting on the ground he was bent over so far. If a fly would have flown by him...he would have swallowed it.

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"Son" I said a little more stern "get on the elevator." I placed my hand on his back and nudged him a little bit this time.

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Nothing. No movement from him, no words from him, nothing. At this point I glanced up into the elevator and there stood the cutest girl I had probably ever seen. She was probably right around Gabe's age, 12 maybe 13, with long blonde hair, and was dressed in the cutest outfit. With her hand on her hip she said "You gonna get on here or what?"

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At her words all he did was shut his mouth. He didn't utter a word, didn't nod his head, he just stood there.

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"Son!" I said a little harsher while literally pushing his back "Get on the stinking elevator!"

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Once again, he just stood there as if he wasn't even on the same planet as me. The doors began to close at this point and we stood there in silence for what seemed like a lifetime. "Umm, hello Gabe, you with me?" I questioned.

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As he turned his head towards me it was if he had just heard me for the first time. His next words all but made me pass out. "She was HOOOOOOOOT, Mom!" At this very moment I wanted to burst out laughing. It was obvious that my sweet, precious "little boy" had crossed over to the dark side where there is a land of "hot girls" and from this moment on there is no coming back!

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"Son," I began to instruct "you are going to see a lot of hot girls in your lifetime but just remember that no matter how many hot girls you meet, how many hot girls you see, you will always and I mean ALWAYS have to listen to your Mother when she talks!"

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"But, Momma, you don't understand," he explained "the minute I saw her, my ears quit working!"

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My precious "baby" was in awe! This girl had gotten his attention in a way that he didn't know how or why or where it even came from! If she had asked him to get the moon for her at that very moment he would have tried to figure out a way to fly to the sky and make it happen. Have you ever been awestruck? Can you imagine how awestruck we will all be when we see Jesus? Oh I can't wait for the day!

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In my mind I cannot even begin to imagine what heaven looks like. The splendor, the awesomeness, the peace, the comfort, the joy, the view, the magnificence of it all. I just can't imagine. Psalm 33:8 says "Let all the earth fear the LORD; Let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him." Stand in awe of him! How wonderful....with nothing to say, no words, no thoughts, no nothing....just standing there awestruck by his mercy, by his grace, by his awesomeness! We will stand in awe! But, you know what? We shouldn't wait until we get to heaven to stand in awe of him. Every day, all day he is blessing us, protecting us, comforting us, healing us, we stand in awe of him today!

Praise!

There are times in every parents' life where they begin to wage a storm with their child. Maybe their child isn't seeing eye to eye with what the parent is trying to teach them or maybe the child is at the age where they want to rebel and the parent is grasping and every torn shred they can get to but nothing seems to work. The storms that rage as a parent to me seem to be harder than any other storm that life has thrown at me so far. I can handle work storms, storms in my relationship with Shane, storms with friends, storms relating to debt, etc. but when it comes to a storm with my child it hits me somewhere deep down inside and that is a battle that breaks me.

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Just this time last year we were in the beginning stages of a storm with Kristina. I won't go into specifics because they aren't important but the root of the problem was her eyes were closed to people and things around her that were bad influences. The choices she was making were clouded by someone else's judgment and she was at a place where she thought she wasn't worthy to make her own choices.

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At this same time Shane and I were having problems and had just begun to go to church and were working on mending our marriage and our family and the harder we tried to help Kristina the further she seemed to run. Many nights were spent in tearful cries to God to help us help her. We could see the way she viewed herself, we could see the struggles she was having and we were able to even see the struggles that were going to come her way if she didn't recover from this pit she was in.

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After I was saved on September 28, 2008, my prayers for my daughter began to change. I began to not only pray for her protection from this storm she was in but for her eyes to be opened to the fact that she was indeed in a storm. I began to pray and ask to put people in her life that would hold her up so that she could catch her breath from time to time, for these people to love her and show her that she is worthy and just extend their arms down into this pit where she was crouching and wait patiently for her to reach up towards them. See, by this point, she refused to reach out and grab my hand or her Daddy's hand but I knew that she would reach up and out to someone else.

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Today, I am just beside myself because I can see the skies clearing, the waves not capping as much and the sun beginning to shine in Kristina's life. She smiles now, she giggles and laughs and tells jokes. She picks at her Daddy and runs through the house squealing and screaming like a typical teenage girl. She laughs at herself instead of cry. She tries new things instead of replying "I can't do that," she is outgoing, funny, smart, ambitious, thoughtful, happy, and prays the sweetest most heartfelt prayers I believe I have ever heard.

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Storms will continue to rage in her life as they do in everyone else's because that is the way it is intended to be. We are going to face storms and trials but it is in those storms and trials that we turn our eyes upon Jesus. I was signing that song on the way to work this morning just praising the Lord for the wonderful healing that he has done in my daughter and the words of that song just really got to me. One line in particular.....look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace!

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Many times I have read the poem "Footprints" and every time I read that poem it is as if I was reading it for the very first time. There are days when you feel alone, you feel tired, you just don't think you can fight any more but it is at those very moments that God is holding you, he is protecting you and carrying you through the very storm that is beating you down. "...I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20. Read that again....I am with you always (pause....that comma means pause for just a moment and say for how long Lord?) and he finishes by saying to the very end of the age!

Don't Be Selfish

As I stood in the kitchen cooking supper I began to hear screaming from down the hall. I stood there for a moment to see if the situation would fix itself and for a brief moment all was quiet. I went back to mixing and pouring when all of a sudden the screaming started again.

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Kristina was almost 6 years old and Gabe was nearly 2. The house we were living in had 4 bedrooms so we turned the smallest bedroom into a playroom for them. There was a kitchen set, baby dolls galore, trucks, cars, airplanes with a feather boa mixed in somehow. The kids generally played pretty well together even though both of them were bossy. Well, actually they are both still bossy!

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I turned the stove off, laid down the bowl and spoon and walked down the hall towards the playroom. As I rounded the corner I heard "Gib it here-a!" spoken in the sweetest baby talk ever! Gabe put an "A" at the end of most of his words until he was in the 2nd or 3rd grade. "NO!!!!!!!" Kristina started yelling.

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"What are ya'll fighting about?" I screamed rounding the corner into the playroom. If I would have only held my tongue for just another second or two I would have seen it for myself. Kristina was laying on the floor with her hands above her head holding onto a jump rope. Gabe was straddling over her, hands full of hair, nose to nose with her screaming "Gib it here-a!" while she was steadily screaming "NO!!!!!"

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I threw my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing at that very moment. Put my "Mommy" face on and snatched Gabe up off of Kristina, took the jump rope from her hand and stood there in between them while they were staring each other down like they used to do in the wild wild west. I knew better than asking what the problem was because if I had they would both begin speaking at the exact same time and it would sound like gibberish from a far off land that I would never be able to identify.

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"You both need to learn to share and not be selfish! You can each play with the jump rope, take turns, be kind to each other. Kristina, you holding it above your head so he can't reach it isn't going to solve the problem. Gabe, you pulling her hair out surely isn't going to solve the problem. Both of you, to your rooms!" I demanded.

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I took the jump rope with me, escorted each of them to their rooms and went back to the kitchen to finish cooking supper. Oh how times have changed. They no longer fuss over jump ropes and Kristina doesn't hold things above her head any more. She knows that holding anything above her head will keep it away from Gabe but she has learned that Gabe will punch her in the stomach, make her double over and she quickly hands over whatever it was that she was trying to keep away. Their fights don't happen as often any more as they used to but they do happen. Shane and I laugh and say that one day we believe we will come home from work and find a hole in our wall that is life size from where they argued over what they were going to watch on t.v. and before long it turned into WWIII.

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Yesterday I added up the amount of debt that Shane and I owed and we have begun working on a plan to pay that debt off. We needed to know that exact dollar figure so that we could begin to pray specifically and boy did that dollar figure really hurt my feelings! Phew....I thought I was going to cry. But, anyway, I came in this morning to work and was looking for an answer, some comfort, some word of encouragement and I turned to Psalm 119 and read verses 36 and 37 "Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word."

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Even though I'm a grown up now I can still be so selfish with possessions. It is as if I am still holding that jump rope over my head saying "You can't have it, you can't have it!" I use possessions as comfort just as I use food. This scripture hit me straight to the core today. I would not characterize myself as a selfish person but if I break it down into small little cubicles that I can disect and examine, yes, I am a selfish person. Funny how a few verses written so many years ago would have been written just for me, on this day, at this moment. God is so good! All the time, God is good!

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Yes, Lord, I will turn my eyes away from worthless things and preserve my life according to your word! Amen!

Losing It

Do you ever feel like you are losing it? You can't find your car keys. You can't find your coat. You can't find that $10 bill that you just had in your hand. You can't find your glasses. You can't find your car in the Wal-Mart parking lot. You can't find your sanity!

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I am constantly losing things. I have this awful habit of putting things in what I consider to be a "safe place" and obviously it is a very safe place because I can never find it again! I work for a law firm but our office is inside a building that is owned and houses an insurance company. After 9/11 security measures were put in place and you must scan a personalized card upon entering and exiting the building. If you are a visitor you are given a "visitor's badge" by security at the main doors.

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Each employee is given a card upon being hired but if you lose your card it is up to you to pay to have it replaced. Well, I have worked here for several years and I have kept up with my card ever since I am proud to say. I have forgotten it once because I changed purses and I left it at home by accident but that was it. I always have my card. Always!

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Well, guess what, I have lost my card! I had it Friday when I scanned myself out of the building going home. I took off Monday and when I was walking through the parking deck on Tuesday I began to fumble through my purse and realized I didn't have it. I have looked in my truck, under the seats, in the console, in the door holder pocket things, through my wallet, my coat pocket, everywhere and I cannot find this card. So, for the past two mornings I have had to go to the security office, explain why I need a "visitor's badge" and get "signed in" before I can go to my office. What a pain!

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As I was walking up the OUTSIDE STAIRWELL in 17 degree weather heading to the security desk I was fussing at myself for losing the badge. "You lose everything!" I said to myself. Then I thought "But you can't lose God!" Thank goodness I can't lose him...well thank goodness he can't lose me!! "...I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day." John 6:39.

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I just found that scripture this morning! I came to my desk and began working on this story and I was actually looking for a totally different scripture when I came across this one. And this one, I needed. Wow! God is so good! He will lose NONE!! It doesn't say that he can lose one or two, or that he may forget one or two it says he will lose NONE!! How special is that?!?! Our God is so great that He's got the little bitty babies in his hands, He's got you and me sister in his hands, He's got the whole world in his hands!

The Right Size

My precious Gabe. He is the sweetest, kindest, most polite child. His heart is bigger than even his chest can hold. He is thoughtful, sincere and honest. When he wraps his arms around you it is like he grips you with vice grips he squeezes so hard. He hugs everyone tons of times and there are even times that we have to say "Gabe, that's enough." Not that we ever want to tell him to stop hugging but we often think he hugs out of habit and bordem. But, he is a precious, precious child and even though he is becoming a teenager and some days I want to pinch that head of his he is going to grow into a fine young man.

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But, Gabe is small. He is very tall but also very skinny. He can't stand it either! He is allergic to everything and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. We had allergy testing done and the list of things he is not allergic to is shorter than the list of things he is allergic to. Basically he isn't allergic to fresh seafood, cats and dogs and that is pretty much it. He takes allergy shots once a week and his sinuses are constantly dealing him fits. His frustration level is quite high in this area. He eats from sun up to sun down but no matter how much he eats he still stays thin as a rail. This, is another area of frustration for him. He sees boys his age that are twice his size and he just doesn't understand why he is so "little."

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One day I was brushing his hair for him and he was looking in the bathroom mirror and he sighed "I'm never going to be big like everybody else."

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I stood there for a minute not really knowing what to say. Boys are so different than girls and there are times that as his mother I am at a loss for words. I don't want him to be a "momma's boy" but I do want him to be compasionate. There is a fine line and I'm not sure exactly where it is.

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"No son," I said "you're never going to be like everybody else."

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He popped his big brown eyes at me and I could see the devestation as it came across his face. I took my hand and cradled his chin so that he couldn't turn away from me. I looked him square in his eyes and I said "Son, you are exactly the way God designed you. He designed them to be like they are and he designed you to be the way that you are."

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"But why can't he make me be bigger?" he questioned.

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"Son, there is a reason and a purpose for you being the size you are. Look at David. He wasn't big and mighty like everyone else. He was small but God designed him with the purpose of killing Goliath and showing that through Christ we can do all things." I said.

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We stood in silence for a moment and I could tell his mind was racing about a million times a second but he didn't argue back. He grinned at me and said "Yep, David killed Goliath."

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Our morning routine went on like normal. We flew out the door, into the truck, into car line, out the truck door to school. I haven't heard him say lately how he can't stand to be so little and I pray that he will accept himself just the way God made him....big or small he has a purpose.

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Psalm 138:8 says "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me..." Don't allow the world to beat you down and think that you are "too small." Seek out God's purpose, pick up those smooth stones and put them in your pocket. You just never know when God is going to call on you to go against Goliath and "with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26.

Beginning And End

It was a Tuesday morning the day I was born. The weather was normal I guess you could say but the day would change and was designed to set up the beginning of a major tornado outbreak. The tornado outbreak of April 3, 1974 through April 4, 1974 is recorded as one of the most intense widespread tornado outbreaks in history. Between April 3rd and April 4th, 148 tornadoes spanned 13 states producing almost 900 square miles of damage in less than 18 hours.

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My Mom has never told me about the weather on the day I was born nor have we talked about this major tornado outbreak. I am a weather enthusiast a/k/a weather nut and I have done a little research on the weather the day I was born. As I searched and read about the weather that day I came across information about this major tornado outbreak. The information about these days is amazing to me. At one point there were 15 destructive tornadoes occuring at the exact same time. Most tornadoes lasted approximately 40 minutes but there was one that lasted for 2 hours and 15 minutes! During this outbreak 315 people lost their lives. Here I was beginning my life while others were losing theirs.

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My entrance into the world was with a bang and my life has been full of ups and downs and twists and turns. I guess if someone googled my life they would find that I have often been a tornado myself, tearing up everything in my path. I have done things that were destructive, hurt people, changed my course in mid-stream, exploded over absolutely nothing and then calmed down to only look back and see the devestation that I created. But, if the reader just keeps reading he will come to a place in my history when all of that changed. All the storms stopped raging, no more tornadoes, no more destruction. Just a woman who was saved by God's grace and found the love and peace she had been running from/searching for her entire life.

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The first verse of the Bible is Genesis 1:1. It says "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." The last verse of the Bible is Revelation 22:21. It says "The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen." I find that very interesting. In the beginning God created all things, he created you and then in the end his grace is with you! Pretty amazing how God works ain't it? Everything has a purpose in God's plan, everyone has a purpose in God's plan, nothing is by mistake and nothing is by chance!

In ALL Things

Man was it cold yesterday morning! The weatherman says we have "artic weather" coming from the north and I do believe he is right. They are predicting freezing temperatures for several days in a row. Since it was so cold I decided to take Kristina to school so that she would not have to ride on a bus for approximately 30 minutes with no heat in temperatures so low.

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As we got into the truck my "low fuel" light was buzzing at me. I looked at the needle trying to gauge how close it was to "E" trying to determine if I could make it all the way to work and back home without refueling. Impossible I thought, I have to get gas.

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I quickly dropped Gabe off at school and went through my plan with Kristina. "I'm going to pull up to the gas pump, you go to the cashier and give him this $20 bill and by the time you get back to the truck I will done pumping the gas and I'll rush you to school." Sounded like a good plan didn't it?

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As I threw the truck into park I handed her the $20 bill. We both jumped out and went to our assigned tasks. The wind was blowing, the nozzle was like touching a block of ice and as I stood there waiting for the pump to start I realized that the cashier was not going to allow me to pump the gas before I paid. I stood there and waited and waited and waited....come on I thought. Finally, I felt the pump release and I began pumping my gas.

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The dial changed to $1 and the nozzle clicked. You know how it does when your tank is full, that clicking noise it does so that no more gas is coming through. I released the handle, backed out the nozzle a little bit and mashed it again. The dial changed to $2 and then click. "Come on!" I said while releasing the handle and backing out the nozzle just a little more. I once again mashed the handle the dial changed to $3 and you guessed it CLICK! "You've got to be kidding me!" I said in frustration. I stood there for a moment trying to compose myself and the thought praise God in everything came through my mind. I began to say "Thank you God for allowing me to have a truck that needs gas. Thank you God for allowing me to live in a country where I can go to the gas station and pump gas any time I want to. Thank you God for the $20 so I could get this gas." I praised God every single time the nozzle clicked and trust me, it was NUMEROUS times!

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After some time (felt like an hour) the dial finally made it to $19.64 and all of a sudden it was as if the pump was shut off. I could feel gas going through the line but it was nothing more than a trickle. The dial began to move even slower to $19.65....$19.66.....$19.67.... I thought I was going to lose my mind! I stood there wanting to kick the pump, stomp my feet, scream in frustration but instead I began to pray again "Lord, bless the people who steal gas so that I have to pre-pay and stand out here in the cold while this pump slowly finishes my sale! Bless them Lord!" There was a man standing on the other side of the pump. He had glanced over a few times but this last time...I think I scared him!

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No matter what the circumstance, situation or frustration we should praise God. Stomping our feet, kicking the gas pump, ramming our buggy into someone's back isn't going to accomplish anything and actually all it will do is enrage us even more. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says "in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

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Some days are tough and will wear you down to your core but always remember that in those times praise God! I can remember singing a song as a kid and I can't remember the name of it but some of the lyrics were...in the good times praise his name, in the bad times do the same, in everything give the King of Kings all the praise!

What's It Called?

It was a hot, smoldering Saturday in Talladega. The type of day where your clothes stick to you from sweating so much. We have been going to the races in Talladega twice a year for many years and have really enjoyed it. Times have definitely changed in that we used to camp in tents and now we must camp in a travel trailer or else none of us would be able to move the next day. We used to camp out in the free campgrounds and now we have reserved spots in the family campground where they control the noise level. If we all can't get our rest we are ill and fussy the next day. Funny how times change!

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The guys wanted to go to the Saturday race but me and Kim, my partner in crime at 'Dega, wanted to go shopping so we passed on the race. We waited for all the traffic to die down and the race to get under way when she and I headed out hiking to the trailers where all the merchandise is sold.

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By the time we arrived at the trailers we were both huffing and puffing so bad it wasn't even funny! The air was stale and hot and when you could finally catch a decent breath it was full of an awful smell that was somewhat of a mix of beer, port-o-potties, italian sausages and hot dogs. That is a smell that you absolutely never forget! It lingers in your nostrils for days and even lingers after you get home!

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As we rounded the trailers the crowd wasn't too bad. We shopped for a little bit and then found a shade underneath one of the trailers and thought that was a perfect spot to sit and rest. As we sat down we both sat in silence just looking around and taking in all the sights. I looked up and saw this huge thing flying over the track. It had Goodyear printed on the side and just kept a steady course right above the traffic.

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"What are those things called?" I asked Kim while pointing up toward this unidentified flying object.

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"What?" she asked.

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"That gray thing, right there, flying above the track. What is that called? I know it's not a hot air balloon but I can't think of what they are called!" I said in a frustrated tone.

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She giggled and said "Ummmm.....they are called.....ummmmm.....I can't think of it!"

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At this point we were both laughing so hard we could barely breathe when I got the bright idea to call my Daddy. See, my Daddy knows everything as far as I am concerned so I pulled out my cell phone, dialed my parents' number and waited. My Mom answered the phone and I quickly asked for my Daddy. She told me he had gone to the store so I just proceeded to ask her my question.

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"You know those things that fly around over stadiums and tracks and stuff? What are they called?" I asked.

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"I don't know" she said "What are they called?"

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"No, Mother, this isn't a joke....I'm serious....me and Kim are sitting here looking at one and can't think of what they are called....come on....be serious...what is it?" I said more persistently.

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About that time a shadow loomed over us and the breath of a drunken woman said "You talking about that blimp right there?"

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"A blimp!" I exclaimed. "That's it!"

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I quickly got off the phone with my Mom and by this time Kim was all but laying on the ground laughing. As we finished up our shopping trip we both would randomly start laughing and shaking our heads back and forth and say "blimp" and then laugh even harder. I know that people around us the rest of the weekend thought she and I had lost our minds. To this day, when I see a blimp, I burst out laughing and when I tell the story, somehow, others don't think it is that funny.

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You know one day the skies will open and there will be a sight for all to see. Matthew 24:30 says " ...the Son of Man will appear in the sky...They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory." Will you know what you are looking at when that day comes? Will you recognize the Son of Man as Jesus, your Savior? If not, why not? All it takes is one call...to Jesus..."...if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

Call You Out

Was it cold at your house this morning? Girl, it was freezing at my house! The ground was white with frost and almost looked like snow. Kristina was sweet enough to warm the truck up for me and it was nice and toasty by the time we left. Normally Kristina rides the bus to school and I take Gabe since it is on my way but this morning she missed her bus. So, out the door we fly running about five minutes late.

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I swung into car line at the Jr. High School to drop Gabe off, gave shouts of "I love you" and "be good" as he slammed the door to fling out of that car line to run to the High School which is about 10 minutes away and in the opposite direction of work.

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The road to the High School is an old country road. Very little sunlight is able to shine through the overgrown oak trees that act as a tunnel. One minute you are driving straight and then the very next minute a curve is right there and it is almost a complete right or left turn. So, naturally, you should be driving slowly and carefully on this road but I was running late and I knew that after dropping Kristina off I would have to take the interstate to work which is absolutely a dread of mine.

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I was flying down this road, tires screeching, Kristina grabbing on the hand rail holding her breath the entire time when all of a sudden a policeman tops the hill coming towards me. I look down and I am doing 60 miles per hour. I tap my brakes (like that was going to do something) and hold my breath. He drives right on by without batting an eye.

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"Thank you Lord" I said.

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Kristina cocked her head to the side and said "Who do you think you are?"

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"What?" I questioned.

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"You were breaking the law and driving like a crazy woman and because you didn't get caught you are going to thank God?!?!?! That's wrong!" she explained.

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Wow! I was busted! I sat there all but hanging my head in shame and told her that she was exactly right. I slowed that truck down and right there in front of her I prayed aloud asking God to forgive me for breaking the law and for then thanking him for allowing me to not get caught.

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You know we often go through life not wanting to "man up" and call someone on their sin because we are not to judge. Well, this is true, we are not to judge someone for something we know nothing about but in Galations 6:1 it says "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently..."

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Do you know what the meaning of restore is? According to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/, restore means to put (someone) back in a former position, to bring back to original condition. How else are we to restore someone unless we bring a sin to their attention. I have been desperately praying for God to show me sins within my life so that my heart can be pure and clean because I want to walk so closely with my Father holding his hand day after day and in the most amazing way God revealed a sin to me today through the mouth of my daughter! What better way to catch my attention!

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God is good....all the time....God is good!

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Today is a special day in our family and I must stop for a moment and recognize my Daddy in that today is his birthday! Happy Birthday Daddy...I love you! =)

The Real Thing

I used to love Coca-Cola. Before I moved on to Mountain Dew (which I'm trying to not drink so much of anymore) I used to drink Coke by the gallons. As a kid my Mom didn't always keep soft drinks in the house and I can vividly remember my Mom, me and my sister whining and batting our eyes until my Daddy would get up, throw on some shoes and drive "to town" to get us all a Coke. At the time, we lived about 10 or 15 minutes from "town" and my precious Daddy would drive all that way just to get the three of us a Coke. Yes, I have an awesome Daddy!

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Around this same time Coke got the bright idea to change their formula. Oh gracious it had to be in the 80's when they did this. I think everyone tried something new in the 80's. I was probably around 12 maybe 13 years old when this huge campaign started for the "new Coke." Everyone, including myself, was talking about this new drink and wondered what it would taste like. Trying to figure out how in the world they could make Coke taste any better than it already did. I can remember count downs on television commericals about how many days until the new Coke arrived.
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The day finally came! Daddy took me to the store and we lined up along with everyone else anxiously waiting to get our Coke. As we walked out of the store, to the car and headed back home I popped open the bottle, turned it up and took the biggest swing I could muster up. I swallowed, sat there for a second, looked at my Daddy and said "That is awful!" I was so disappointed!
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I wasn't the only one who didn't like this "new Coke." It was the talk of the nation. Well, before long "Classic Coca-Cola" began to fill the shelves and "new Coke" phased out. I must say, now that I am older and look back, the person who came up with that campaign was a genius! Yes, Coca-Cola had to deal with a little ridicule and it took some time for their plan to work through the channels but out of all the soft drink companies out there they are the only ones who have "classic" on their label. That campaign plan was genius, pure genius.
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You know God is "classic" as well don't you? He has never changed! He has remained the one true God since day one. Since before day one! "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8.

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No matter what journey you are taking at this very moment in life, he is the same God today that he was the day that Jesus was crucified. No matter what joyous occasion is happening in your life at this very moment, he is the same God today that was he was the day Jesus was resurrected. No matter what struggles or triumphs or sadness or joy you face each and every day he is the same God each time. He holds you in his hands when you do not have the strength to walk, he rejoices with you when happiness falls upon you, he dries your tears when it seems as though they are never ending and he stands proudly just as any Father would do when you are triumphant! Kingdoms rise and fall but even through it all he remains the one true God!

Enough!

A weekend or so ago Kristina, Gabe and I were in the living room watching t.v. There had been a marathon of our favorite movies on t.v. all day long and we just kept watching them one right after the other. After a day of laziness everyone had taken taken their baths and I was curled up under a blanket on the couch, Kristina was curled up on the love seat and Gabe was laying in the recliner. All was quiet except for the noise from the t.v.

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A commercial came on and Gabe jumped up like someone had stuck a hot poker under his rear end, lunged towards the love seat and jumped on Kristina yelling the entire time "Booooooom!" She tried to brace herself but she couldn't get herself curled up fast enough. As he landed on her stomach you could hear the breath being knocked out of her.

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She pushed him to the floor and as she was throwing the cover down and standing up she took in the deepest breath I think I have ever heard and as her feet hit the floor she declared "It is on!" She grabbed him by his arms, dropped to her knees and the war began. They wrestled and laughed and tickled each other and kicked and pinched and acted like they were going to lick each other's face or hand and the other one would scream and squeal.

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After about 15 minutes of the on-going wrestling match they were beginning to get carried away. Both Gabe and Kristina can play like that for a short time but eventually someone will cross the line and it goes from wrestling to fighting so there must always be a referee present during their wrestling matches to avoid any body sized holes being placed in our walls.
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"That's enough" I declared.

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They each started standing up and before I could blink my eyes they started pushing and mocking each other and there they were, back down on the floor wrestling and squealing again.

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"That's enough now!" I said again.

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Once again they both got up. Kristina was pushing her long blonde hair out of her face and trying to pull it back up in a pony tail when Gabe took his leg and swept her feet out from under her. As she fell to the floor she looked at him with THE LOOK. She has this look that she can get on her face and as soon as THE LOOK comes across her beautiful face you know it is going to get ugly. It is as if she morphs into a bull....smoke blowing out of her nose, eyebrows turned inward towards her nose, forehead wrinkled and lips puckered. As she took one step towards Gabe I jumped off the couch, my arms spread to seperate them and with my own LOOK I said "For the third and final time that is enough!"

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They both went back to their respective corners breathing heavily as if they had just finished a three mile run. Kristina flopped down on the love seat and Gabe curled back up in the recliner and all was quiet. Looks were continuously exchanged between the two of them and I'm sure there were some promises between them to finish this at a later date and time when Mom wasn't there but for the most part we went back to watching our movies.

Have you ever just had enough of something? Do you ever feel like you have enough of everything? Aren't you glad God's grace is enough? "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace. " Ephesians 1:7 When we were fighting with the world and full of sin God softly said I forgive you! His grace is enough!

Fire

A fire mesmerizes me. I can sit for hours and hours and watch a fire burn. I'm scared of them and want to make sure that I keep them under control but I love to watch them burn. The flames are all unique. Each one has a totally different color and glow. They each dance around at their own rhythm and even seem to be dancing to their own music. Some flames move back and forth at a rapid rate like a bunch of teenagers dancing and then others just slowly sway back and forth and remind me of an older couple dancing in their living room just enjoying being together.

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The embers floating up into the air are just as intriguing to me. They pop and swirl and then within just a few seconds they are gone. I like it when as the ember is floating away from the fire a flame will stretch tall, grab the ember and pull it back down into the flame and from that point on I cannot tell where the ember ends and the flame begins.

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The coals in the bottom of the fire glowing like lava are beautiful. There are no flames in these coals but yet they are just as hot, if not hotter, than the flames. They put off an intense heat that can warm you when you are cold all the way to your bones. These coals even have the ability to spark a flame and restart a fire that has long been put out.

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A fire serves many purposes. It is heat when you are cold, it is light when there is darkness, it can use it's heat to cook food when you are hungry, dry clothes when you are wet or clear a path that it too thick to cut. In Luke 3:16 John says "...But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire." He will baptize you with fire....hmmmm....think on that for just a second.

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As Christians we aren't designed to sit in the pew and play church. We were baptized with fire! We can't be still! We are on fire! We are the warmth for the cold world. We are the light where there is nothing but darkness. We are to feed the hungry (physically and spiritually). We are to dry those who have been drenched with the storms of life. We are to clear a path for others to follow. We are a living fire with flames dancing in all directions controlled not by ourselves but by the Holy Spirit. Touching lives, changing lives just as our lives were changed, and reaching out to grab that one ember that is about to fade away and pull it back into our flames so that it too can become a great fire for the Lord!

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Don't allow others to pour water on you and extinguish your fire today!

What's Your Sign?

I love to read signs. If I am in a vehicle whether driving or riding I am constantly reading signs. I read bumper stickers, billboards, store signs, and even those signs with flashing yellow arrows. I love them! Some of them make me laugh, some of them make me think and some of them convict me.

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For example, this morning I'm driving into work and I pass a dump truck and on the back of the dump truck it says in big bold letters DO NOT PUSH. Now, I'm sure the dump truck company has that on there because of a door or something on the truck but my first thought was "Why in the world would I want to push a dump truck?!?!?" I giggled to myself and kept on.

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All these signs mean so much to the store or property where they sit. The wording on their sign could grab someone's attention and create that company's very next customer. Or, that sign could make someone's nose turn up and they keep driving to the next location. It is all about what catches the consumer's attention. Flashing lights, funny slogans, great deals are all things that you see on all of these signs. They are everywhere! If you look closely you can even find signs posted on street signs and trees! A mom and pop plumbing company or a housewife looking to make ends meet has started cleaning houses. Seriously....they are everywhere!

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If you walked around all day long holding a flashing or blinking sign what would it say? Maybe it would say I'm a Christian! or maybe I want a drink! or what about I hate my life! Each one of us is carrying a sign whether we realize it or not. Our facial expressions, our attitudes, our words...they are all signs to someone. If your parents were standing in front of you would you have that same facial expression or that same attitude? If your pastor was standing in front of you would you take that drink? Would you allow curse words to come out of your mouth? Well, guess what? Jesus is standing in front of you every day, all day. He sees your facial expressions. He hears your tone, attitude and curse words. He cringes every time you put that alcoholic drink to your lips. Your body is his temple and in the light of day you portray a catchy sign that would make someone stop, look and listen but in your quiet time and when you are alone you aren't so worried about what other's think. You aren't even worried about what Jesus thinks...if you were...would you be doing it?

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1 Chorinthians 6:19-20 says "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

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I have struggled with my weight most of my life and especially my adult life. I have been so convicted lately of my weight because walking around the size I am is not a sign that I honor God through my body! Therefore, after asking for forgiveness I am taking the steps to change that. I am not overweight because of a medical problem. I am overweight because I overeat and I abuse food which is the sin of gluttony. God has revealed to me what sign I was carrying and what sign I need to be carrying.

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What sign do you carry when you are at work? What sign do you carry at home in front of your husband/wife and children? What sign do you carry at church? What does your sign say when you are alone?

Antivirus

Well I did it! Yep, me! Not Shane, not Kristina, not Gabe, not Mr. Nobody, just plain ole me. We recently had BellSouth or AT&T or whatever they are called now (my Mom still calls them "the phone company" so I guess that would work) come out to the house because our modem wasn't working properly. We moved back during the summer and ever since we have been dealing with internet problems. Finally, they replaced our modem which has been another headache for me because I am unable to get the WiFi part of this modem/router to work properly. So, since my own personal computer has not been able to get online and I have been too busy to call "the phone company" and get some technical help I have been using Kristina's laptop.

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I was looking around about a week ago when this little window popped up and said "you are infected with 32 viruses" and I stopped and thought to myself "What?!?!? We have McAfee!" I clicked further wanting to know where the infections were when it happened. Before I could stop my finger I clicked and guess what? I just downloaded a virus! As I sat and watched the virus begin to run it's program I began to click here and there and was trying to use the little bit of computer knowledge that I had to stop the virus from spreading. McAfee was doing everything it could do at the same time. I'm surprised smoke didn't start billowing out of the laptop.

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I've brought the laptop with me to work today because after talking with our office IT guy he thinks he might can save it for me. But, as always, I was thinking about viruses and antiviruses and such this morning on my way to work when it hit me....sin is a virus and God is the antivirus!! It says in Romans 10:13 "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Just by calling out his name we will be saved....our virus will be wiped out and our programs will operate as they were intended to do.

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You know, Kristina made the most profound statement the other night. She and I were talking about angels and she said "I wonder why we don't see angels or miracles like they did back during the Bible times?" I sat there pondering how I would answer this question when she all but jumped out of her seat and said "Mom, I know why! We don't have the faith and the belief like they did back during the Bible time. There are angels around us and miracles happen every day....we just use the world to explain it instead of just believing." Pretty profound for a 16 year old don't you think?

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Don't allow the world to explain what God has done for you, just call out his name and allow him to wash away your sins. Allow God to be your antivirus because HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE!!

It's Always Enough

Money. That word can just make me cringe. It can make me twist and get all nervous. Too much of it has the ability to make you bitter and hard. Not enough of it can also make you bitter and hard. The rich never seem to understand what the poor are going through and vice versa.

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Shane and I are not poor but let me tell you now, we aren't rich either. We are rich in Christ, love, happiness and joy but money...not so much. Our bills are paid, groceries are bought and gas is put in the vehicles each week but by the next payday we are counting pennies. I'm sure that is how most houses are right now.

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We live on a strict budget. Month by month I sit down and budget out the bills versus our paychecks. Shane gets paid weekly but I only get paid twice a month. Week after week I often feel like I am juggling this bill and throwing that one back up in the air.

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After I was saved on September 28, 2008, I felt a heavy burden on my heart regarding tithing. Shane and I had "tried to tithe" before but we just didn't have the money and would quit. I pleaded with God "Let me get a few bills paid off first and then I'll start tithing." You know what? He didn't care what MY plan was. He just continued to press upon me week after week that we were not within his will because we were not tithing. One Sunday afternoon I sat Shane down and told him that God was pressing upon me that we needed to tithe every dime that came into our house. "I agree" was his response. So, from that moment on we committed to tithing each week.

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Well, the first week rolled around and I looked at the paycheck, looked at the budget, looked at what our tithe was and I said "Lord, how in the world are we going to eat and get gas?" All was silent. I wrote out our tithe check, paid the bills and held my breath. Guess what? We got groceries and believe it or not we put gas in the vehicles too. The next week rolled around and it was the same outcome. Week after week God has provided for my family. Our salaries have not increased nor have we paid a bill off. We are living on faith. We are living on the promises of God. He will provide for our every NEED! It as if God takes our paychecks, runs it through his hands and multiplies it.

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I'm sure everyone knows the story of Jesus feeding five thousand. In verses 39-44 it says "Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish. The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand." I like the all ate and were satisfied part. From two fish and five loaves of bread Jesus satisified the hunger of five thousand men. We have no idea exactly how many were fed because it only refers to men. I wonder how many women and children were fed that day too! Next, look carefully at how much was left over...twelve basketfuls. Not only did God provide for the immediate need of the people, there were leftovers!

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Today let God take your two fish and five loaves of bread, filter it through his hands, satisfy your needs and then provide some leftovers! What do you have to do? Just believe!

Hurt Feelings

I was sitting in the chair in my living room when Kristina came bouncing in as usual and flopped on the love seat. I'm not sure what part of her body is broken that doesn't allow her actually sit down because she flops. If you are sitting on the couch and she comes to sit down she will bounce you off your seat she flops so hard. "Gently" I always remind her and her usual response is "What? I didn't do anything!" As she flopped down she started rambling about something another. I was flipping through the channels and was paying attention to her but not fully paying attention. I was responding with my usual "I understand" which is code for I'm not listening!

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Within just a few minutes Shane came into the living room. He interrupted Kristina to say something and his tone caught my attention. I barked back and before long we sounded like two five year olds. As he rubbed his hand across his face he turned to walk out of the living room into the kitchen and said the most hurtful words to me. My eyes filled up with tears and I turned my head.

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What did he say to me that made me cry? I have no clue! I can't remember! I do remember that later on that day after Shane had thought about what he said and the way he said it he came back to me, wrapped his arms around me and apologized. Right then and there I forgave him and we moved on.

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Ephesians 1:7 says "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." Just as we forgive our husbands, our kids, co-workers or friends when they have wronged us, God forgives us and forever forgets our wrongdoing. God's grace is greater than any sin that we have ever committed. I love the song Grace Greater Than Our Sin. The chorus is: Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that will pardon and cleanse within; Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin!

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After you have asked for forgiveness, take a moment to receive that forgiveness from God, forgive yourself and when the enemy tries to bring that sin back to your memory, don't hang your head in shame instead raise your hands toward Heaven and begin to praise God for his grace and mercy for forgiving you of your sins!