My precious Gabe. He is the sweetest, kindest, most polite child. His heart is bigger than even his chest can hold. He is thoughtful, sincere and honest. When he wraps his arms around you it is like he grips you with vice grips he squeezes so hard. He hugs everyone tons of times and there are even times that we have to say "Gabe, that's enough." Not that we ever want to tell him to stop hugging but we often think he hugs out of habit and bordem. But, he is a precious, precious child and even though he is becoming a teenager and some days I want to pinch that head of his he is going to grow into a fine young man.
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But, Gabe is small. He is very tall but also very skinny. He can't stand it either! He is allergic to everything and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. We had allergy testing done and the list of things he is not allergic to is shorter than the list of things he is allergic to. Basically he isn't allergic to fresh seafood, cats and dogs and that is pretty much it. He takes allergy shots once a week and his sinuses are constantly dealing him fits. His frustration level is quite high in this area. He eats from sun up to sun down but no matter how much he eats he still stays thin as a rail. This, is another area of frustration for him. He sees boys his age that are twice his size and he just doesn't understand why he is so "little."
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One day I was brushing his hair for him and he was looking in the bathroom mirror and he sighed "I'm never going to be big like everybody else."
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I stood there for a minute not really knowing what to say. Boys are so different than girls and there are times that as his mother I am at a loss for words. I don't want him to be a "momma's boy" but I do want him to be compasionate. There is a fine line and I'm not sure exactly where it is.
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"No son," I said "you're never going to be like everybody else."
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He popped his big brown eyes at me and I could see the devestation as it came across his face. I took my hand and cradled his chin so that he couldn't turn away from me. I looked him square in his eyes and I said "Son, you are exactly the way God designed you. He designed them to be like they are and he designed you to be the way that you are."
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"But why can't he make me be bigger?" he questioned.
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"Son, there is a reason and a purpose for you being the size you are. Look at David. He wasn't big and mighty like everyone else. He was small but God designed him with the purpose of killing Goliath and showing that through Christ we can do all things." I said.
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We stood in silence for a moment and I could tell his mind was racing about a million times a second but he didn't argue back. He grinned at me and said "Yep, David killed Goliath."
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Our morning routine went on like normal. We flew out the door, into the truck, into car line, out the truck door to school. I haven't heard him say lately how he can't stand to be so little and I pray that he will accept himself just the way God made him....big or small he has a purpose.
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Psalm 138:8 says "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me..." Don't allow the world to beat you down and think that you are "too small." Seek out God's purpose, pick up those smooth stones and put them in your pocket. You just never know when God is going to call on you to go against Goliath and "with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26.
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