Body Art

Oh the joys of having teenagers in the house! Every day I get a front row ticket to the newest ink color, the newest picture, the newest artwork that my children either draw on themselves or allow someone else to draw on them.

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Gabe is just in the beginning stages of this "body art" so his drawings aren't really drawings at all. Gabe comes home with numbers written on his hands. Occasionally he has a lightening bolt or maybe a funny face or stick person. His "art work" usually consist of black ink only.

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But, Kristina is a different story. At any given moment on any given day she will have hearts, words, names and even intricate designs. She usually has an array of colors ranging from black all the way to purple. Some designs she draws herself but the majority of the designs are drawn by friends who will one day make a living with their paintings. She naturally has the standard "I love you" written on her hand by either her boyfriend, her best friend or just a classmate who is bored and instead of writing on paper they choose to write on her skin.

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I fuss at my children every day it seems like because they walk around with this "body art." I fuss because they look like walking billboard signs and then when they bathe the ink doesn't come off so there is a faint picture of what was drawn on them that day. And, to make it look even worse they go to school and allow someone to re-draw on them so then they come home with faded drawings on them as well as new drawings. It is a never ending battle in my house.

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One year I sat down on a Friday night with alcohol scrubbing Kristina's arms and hands because the day before a pageant she decided to let all of her friends sign her arms! Can you believe that? I wanted to hurt her!!

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But, you know, that is just kids. I can remember writing on my hands (not so much my arms) when I was a kid. I can remember my Mom fussing at me and here I am 18 years later doing the exact same thing.

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As I was driving into work this morning I was thinking about my children being walking billboards and how much that gets on my nerves when I began to think about Jesus' "body art." You know, his nail scarred hands! He reaches down each and every day and touches us with those nail scarred hands and holds us up when we don't have the strength to walk, he comforts us when we are broken, and he guides us when we are lost.

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"And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit." Matthew 27:50. Jesus did not die a peaceful death. He did not close his eyes and simply go to sleep. His death was painful, it was violent, it was hard, he cried! And, all of this was done for me...for you! Jesus had to pay the price for his "body art." He died on that cross for sins that had not even been committed yet! He felt the pain of every lie you and I would ever tell. He bled blood for every deception you and I created. He carries the ultimate "body art." He carries the nail scarred hands!

A Do Over

Phew....the things I would "do over" if I was ever given the opportunity are endless. I don't live with regrets but at the same time I do have things, moments, actions in my life that I would "do over" if I was ever given a magic wand. I would wave that wand over that day and change the course of history for myself. It's not that I'm not happy with myself or where I am but looking back I know that this choice or that decision affects a particular part of my life now.

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For example....I would have paid more attention in class and actually studied instead of doing just enough to get by for that six weeks. I made As and Bs and few Cs along the way in high school but I know if I would have applied myself just a little bit more and retained alot more knowledge then I would actually be able to help my children with their homework instead of having to Google everything.

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I would wave that magic wand on the day I got pregnant with Kristina and just simply move that up a few years. Oh, I love that child. She is my pride and joy and I just can't imagine my life without her in it. But, if I was given a "do over" I would replant her in my life in my 20s. Being a teenage mom is hard. It is hard at 18 and 19 and 25 and 30 and 34. It doesn't get any easier. I'm not saying raising a child at any age is easy but once you are a teenage mom you always stay a teenage mom. Just because I'm 34 and she is 16 doesn't mean that every day I'm not right back to that scared 18 year old girl not having a clue what she is doing.

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I would most definitely take the chance to use a "do over" on the day Gabe broke his arm. I knew something wasn't right about that day. Call it mother's intuition but I just had a feeling. Earlier in the day I had told him to stop playing so rough because the hospitals were closed since it was the 4th of July and if he got hurt I couldn't take him to the doctor. Well, low and behold, not more than two hours later I was on my way to Children's Hospital with a 3 year old and a broken arm. I knew better than letting him play on that jungle gym because it was way too big for him but I let him go anyway and he broke his arm. To watch him go through x-ray after x-ray and cast after cast week after week I would most definitely jump at the chance to "do over" that day.

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But, I do have days that I would not want a "do over." Even though they were chaotic and crazy I would want to keep them just the way they are. My wedding day for example. I would leave it just like it is. The day Gabe and Kristina were born is absolutely perfect to me. Watching my Daddy graduate with his doctorate degree was better than a perfect day. Seeing my Mom seeing her first grandchild on sonor was breath taking. The day I was saved! I would most definitely leave that day alone! It was perfect from beginning to end.

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But, you know, I wonder if Eve was given a "do over" if she would still eat that fruit. I wonder if Sampson would jump at the opportunity for a "do over" when he told Delila that his strength came from his hair. I bet Moses would "do over" the day he struck the rock with the rod instead of speaking to it.

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Have you ever thought about if Jesus would want a "do over?" As Jesus was facing death he prayed to his Father saying "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want? ... My Father, if there is no other way than this...I'm ready. Do it your way." Matthew 26:39 & 42. Jesus, being a man, knew how painful hanging on that cross would be. But, no matter what his feelings were he followed the Father's way. He never questioned it. He never tried to come up with another way. He never argued. He simply said "I'm ready."

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Life is full of choices and decisions, hills and valleys, good days and bad days. Some days you look back and wish you were granted a "do over" and then some days are like a picture perfect memory forever etched in your mind. But, when you come to that choice, that decision, that moment that you reach around to your back pocket hoping there is a "do over" wand back there for you to wave and make right a wrong decision of yours, please remember that Jesus would never "do over" hanging on that cross for your sins, for you! He hung on that cross so you wouldn't have to have a "do over." He hung on that cross so that when you realize you have failed, he can reach down with his nail scared hand and forgive you! There is no better "do over" than that!

Breath

One of my absolute most favorite things in the whole entire world is breath. Not bad breath or stinky morning breath! Ewwww.... But I have three that just do something to me down to the depths of my soul. They make me smile, make me feel good, make me happy when I am sad, make me feel safe and secure, make me feel like I do belong in this big ole world and give me a sense of acceptance. (At this point I'm sure you are beginning to understand where Kristina gets all her drama queen-ness from!)

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One particular smell comes in an unusual package. It has a little tail waving back and forth in the air while it runs up to me, tripping along the way. As I scoop him up and hold him nose to nose with myself I smell it...my third favorite smell....puppy breath! Oh to pick up a puppy and snuggle it close to my face and feel that hot breath breathe on my face is like heaven to me. Puppies have a distinct smell on their breath that is intoxicating to me. If you are trying to get rid of a puppy you just call me because once they breathe in my face it is over. I want to take them home. Now, once that puppy breath wears off I'm done but there is just something about it.

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As much as I love puppies breath I can't even begin to explain my love for the precious feel and smell of a baby's breath. To hold that precious, innocent, pure bundle in my arms is overwhelming. It doesn't matter if it is mine or someone elses. I love to place the baby on my chest with her head resting on my shoulder and her face pointing towards mine and just watch her sleep. As she sleeps she begins to breathe out of her mouth and that it when it hits me. That sweet precious breath. I sense hope, love, patience, kindness, joy and little bit of confidence in that breath. They have just victoriously gone through the biggest struggle of their life so far, birth. Oh a baby's breath....that is my second favorite smell.

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But, last but not least is my ultimate favorite smell. I say this is a smell but it is more or less a feeling that I can only feel through my nose. Strange? Probably. As my hair blows I can feel my eyelashes moving back and forth. It is as if there is a feeling of something softly touching my face and as I breathe in the biggest breath that I can possibly take I smell it...the breath of Jesus. It doesn't matter if I'm standing on a beach, going down the road or simply standing in my yard I love the smell of the wind. To me when I feel the wind blowing on my face it is as if Jesus is simply looking down talking to me and I can feel and smell his breath as he talks. I close my eyes and I can hear birds singing, children laughing, and the world at that brief moment is at peace. Oh, the breath of Jesus. That is my favorite smell!!

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When we are standing on the beach watching the ocean waves crash at our feet, he is there holding our hands and breathing on our faces. When we are sitting in the bleachers at our child's ball game, he is right there with us, holding our hands breathing on our faces. When we are standing in that hospital room watching our loved one, he is standing right there holding our hands breathing on our faces. When we are on our knees crying out to him, he is right there holding our hands breathing on our faces. How do I know? How am I so sure? Because he says so in Matthew 28:20 "...I am with you always..."

Down The Road

Believe it or not I love cars! They are sort of my thing I guess you could say. I don't know anything about the engine and couldn't tell you the difference between a gear and a rotor but when it comes to the design, the smoothness of the lines, the position of the lights, the interior, the wheels and just the general package of a car I'm hooked. I can tell you the make and model of a car just by looking at the headlights or tail lights. And, even sometimes, I can give you a general idea of the year of the car.

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This "talent" drives my family crazy because as we drive down the road I'm constantly saying "Honda Civic" or "GMC Yukon" or "Mercedes M-Class." They always reply with "Mom! Shut up!" (ha ha) I just watch all the cars on the road all the time. I look at every little detail of them and tuck it away in that odd little place in my brain. Kristina jokes with me and says that when I'm old and senile I will walk around mumbling to everyone in the nursing home the make and model of different cars.

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But, the one thing I have noticed about cars is they remind me of people. You always have a car on the road that is a little beat up and bruised. It looks as if it should be in a junk yard somewhere but it just won't give up and die. It keeps pushing ahead and puttering right along and it's scars are visible to everyone who looks at it.

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Then, there are vehicles that have an identity crisis. I mean they don't know if they are a SUV or a truck. Should they haul something or hold a lot of people? They have no clue so they just zip in and out of traffic trying to hang out with the big crowd but knowing all the while they just don't measure up.

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Occasionally you see a really nice vehicle. It has all the bells and whistles but it was purchased by the wrong person and it just doesn't fit. It has to speed along the highway acting as if it is something that it is not. It isn't quite sure how to fit in with the other cars because it doesn't even know where it belongs.

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The big ole tractor trailer trucks always make me stop and look. They push through traffic like a bunch of bullies. They don't look when they merge onto the highway because they know you will move over because let's face it, they are bigger than you. They blow their horns and smoke up the air. And, although we are thankful that we have the big trucks to get the job done I just sometimes wonder if things would be a little better without so many of them.

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And then you have my favorite. The "normal" crowd. These cars are either gas savers or old classics. Their owners are just typical people who are trying to earn a living. They use their blinkers daily with pride and they stop to allow someone to merge in front of them. They always have cute signs on their bumper and you always know what college team they are pulling for.

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But, the one thing that I have begun to notice about cars is that no matter what they look like, where they are from or where they are going; they are all traveling down the same thing...a road. And, get this, we have always been traveling down the same road. Back when people used horse drawn carriages they did so by traveling down a dirt road. If you go back to before horse and buggy days to where people walked everywhere they went; they still walked on a path or road that was designed for that purpose. We may think we have come a long way in society but the truth of the matter is we are all still traveling down a road that was designed by someone else.

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God laid out a road for each of us with great detail and design. Psalm 119:105 says "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." He did not intend for us to travel this road ill equipped or alone. He gave us headlights (his word!) and he gave us street lights (fellow Christians!). It doesn't matter what your vehicle looks like. It doesn't even matter if your vehicle knows where it fits into the crowd. The thing that does matter is that we don't end up on a dead end street or a side road that leads to nowhere. We must consciously make a decision to be on the right road....God's road!

Make A Statement

The orthodontist's office was crowded. There wasn't an empty seat in the place. Kristina, Gabe and I ended up sitting in chairs that were made for toddlers and all three of us are very tall so our knees were literally up by our necks. Kristina was crunched down texting and Gabe and I were flipping through magazines.

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Slowly but surely they called people back and eventually the waiting room emptied out enough that I could sit in an actual seat and then Kristina found a seat across the room and before long all three of us were sitting like "normal" people.

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The nurse called Gabe back and after just a few short minutes they came and got me. The orthodontist told me that Gabe was finally ready for his braces and we discussed his teeth and jaw and as we made our way back out into the waiting room they called Kristina back. I was thinking "I finally got one out of braces and now I've got another one going in them." I joked with the receptionist and told her that by the time she was done with us she would have witnessed both of my children driving, entering high school and one entering college!

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After I made the appointment for the "big day," Gabe and I found a few seats in the corner of the office to wait for Kristina's check-up to finish. I thought I would use the opportunity to talk to him about getting braces and what all that meant and how he would need to take care of them when the conversation took a turn.

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"You know, you get to choose what color ties you want on your brackets every month. Don't pick white because they stain. Don't pick black because it makes your teeth look rotten. Just pick gray. If you pick gray they blend in with the brackets and they aren't that noticeable." I instructed.

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He listened intently and then said "Nah, I'm looking at this braces thing as an opportunity."

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"An opportunity for what?" I asked.

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"An opportunity to make a statement!" He explained.

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Now, what kind of statement is he planning on making you ask. I have no idea but I'm sure the next two and a half years is going to be quite interesting in our house. Gabe loves to bring attention to himself, especially if he thinks it will draw a laugh. I'm sure in the very near future he will walk out of the back of that office with hot pink ties on his brackets. Or, maybe a nice purple and lime green color! Only time will tell!

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"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 How many times do we try to conform to this world? How many times do we look at our Christianity as being something that is holding us back instead of holding us together? Do you remember that feeling you had in your gut when you asked Jesus to save you? I do! Some days I wonder why I don't feel that feeling and that is when I realize that I am not out there making a statement. Instead, I am hiding and trying to conform to the world. Do you ever find yourself in the same situation?

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Be set apart! Be different! Use today as an opportunity to make a statement for Christ!

Mirror Image

I have completely changed my route to work within the past few months. At the beginning of the year Kristina was doing really well about getting dressed in time to ride the bus to school but as the year has progressed on she has slowly but surely started missing the bus on a regular basis. I finally threw in the towel and accept the fact that I will need to take her to school every day. I don't mind really. Next year she'll have her license and she won't need me to take her to school anymore so I enjoy the 7 minute ride talking to her.

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As I leave the school and make my way onto the interstate there is a big farm on the right hand side of the road. The house is gorgeous. Almost reminds me of a house that you would have seen during the Civil War. It is two story with the huge white columns lining the front porch. There are black shudders and even a wind direction thing on the roof. The property is lined with a white wooden fence and there are cows and horses as far as the eyes can see. If you look real close you can see a small house towards the back of the property which I would assume is where the farm hand lives. Maybe? I don't know. Just a guess.

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But, at the front of this property, the part closest to the interstate is a huge pond. It is divided up into two sections and covers a good bit of the property. Behind the property is a mini-mountain full of trees and the sky always looms over these trees like it is trying to sneak up on them. As you first begin to see the pond you can see the reflection of the house, then as you blink you begin to see the trees and then as you blink again you see the full reflection of this landscape in the water. It is absolutely breathtaking. I look at this every single day and am amazed by the view every single day.

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Today, it got me thinking about image. When Kristina or Gabe go to stay with friends I always whisper in their ear "You better behave!" I will whisper to Kristina to act like a lady and to Gabe I add "Act like a young man!" Why? Because their actions are a reflection on me as their Mother just as that pond shows the reflection of that landscape.

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We were each uniquely created in God's image. "So God created man in his own image..." Genesis 1:27. We are a reflection of God. When others watch us (and trust me, they do) we are showing them what our Heavenly Father is like. Just as we want our children to behave and say the right things and do the right things and act a certain way because they are a reflection on us as their parents God feels the same way. For every action we have, for every word we say we are a reflection of God.

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I fail at this miserably. I pop off at the mouth when I get frustrated or angry. I walk around some days with my rear-end on my shoulders because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. But, as I drove into work this morning and looked over at that pond and began to think on my way to work about reflections (and even as I type this blog) I am so convicted of my actions and words. At the end of the day, when I look myself in the mirror I not only want to know that I was the best person I could have been that day but that I was a complete reflection of God! I am the pond and he is the landscape...what do people see in me?

You Gotta Believe

I grew up with my Dad being a volunteer fire fighter. He had a blue station wagon type car and I can remember riding to and from school in that car and smelling his boots and equipment. It was a smell of smoke mixed in with a chemical type smell. It is sort of hard to explain but yet a smell that I will never forget. To this day if I smell it I will stop in my tracks, take in a deep breath and smile because to me that smell is my Daddy.

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As I got older and we moved away from the volunteer fire stations I can remember being late for school because a fire truck would fly by and before I could blink my Daddy was chasing it. He just had to know where the fire was and exactly what was going on. As he would talk about fire he would talk with such passion and intesity that it always intrigued me. That might be why I love fire so much. The thought of being a fire fighter never crossed my mind but I love to watch a fire or smell a fire. I'm not scared of a fire but I do respect it. If there is one thing my Daddy taught me about fire is that it has a mind of its own. It goes where it wants without rhyme or reason and each fire is special. No two fires are alike and if you listen close enough it will talk to you and tell you its story.

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I can remember being no more than 8 or 9 years old when Daddy had to leave to go to a fire. I can't remember if it was a house fire or a store fire but I just remember him leaving during dinner to go to this fire. He came home smelling like, well, fire and his face was black with soot, his hair was wet with sweat and he was worn out from fighting this fire. He began to talk about how bad the fire was and everything that happened.

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"I don't understand, Daddy, how you can go and walk into a fire and not be scared" I said.

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Without hesitation my Daddy looked at me and replied "Well, before you go in you just always have to believe that you'll come right back out."

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At the time my Daddy's statement didn't mean a whole lot to me and I took it for what it was but as I have gotten older that statement has rung through my mind time and time when I was facing my own fire. Before you go in you just always have to believe that you'll come right back out.

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You know Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had that belief before they went into the furnance. "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us..." Daniel 3:17. Here they were facing certain death standing at the doorway to this furnace and they believed that God would save and rescue them. God not only saved them, he walked with them! You know so many times in life we are standing at the doorway of our very own furnace. We know that we are just about to the edge of the doorway and there is no way around going straight through the fire but we are scared. Girlfriend, don't just walk into that fire, jump into that fire. You can dance around and sing and praise God because he is right there with you....believe that he will not only get you through the fire but believe that he is right there in the midst of the fire with you!

Exchanges

It was the day after Christmas and Kristina was playing with her brand new camera. She had been asking for a camera all year long and Shane and I had finally broken down and gotten her one for Christmas. Around the beginning of the fall my camera broke so we let her open her camera on Christmas Eve so I could borrow it to take pictures Christmas morning and then it was all hers. So, she was so excited to be able to sit down and play with her new toy. She was reading the book and clicking buttons and flipping switches when the camera turned off.

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"Mom" she said "my camera just shut off by itself."

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I walked into the living room and fiddled with it a little bit and handed it back to her. "No clue" I said. She sat there for about another 30 minutes or so reading the book and even changed the batteries out when she stomped into the kitchen, hand on hip and said "It is broken! We need to go exchange it!"

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I wanted to allow the exchange/refund crowds to die down a little bit before we went so we waited until the following day. I had my receipt in my hand, the camera and all its belongings in the box and out the door we went to exchange this camera. Now, I don't want to say where we got the camera (Wal-Mart) because I wouldn't want to give this company any sort of bad pubilicity (Wal-Mart) for selling me a camera that broke only after one day of use (Wal-Mart). haha

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As we walked up to the counter the lady asked what the problem was (let me just start off by saying this woman loved her job and was so happy to be there...ever had one of those?). I explained to her that the camera just turned itself off and would not come back on and explained to her everything we did when she started tapping her finger on my receipt. I stand there looking at her as if she were nuts and she stared back at me with the same look still tapping her finger. I finally broke the staring match off by saying "Are you trying to point something out to me?"

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"Lady" she said....now let me stop you right there. Calling me "lady" or "woman" is an insult to me. Calling me "ma'am" doesn't bother me so much but the tone that goes along with those words sends shivers down my spine. "Lady, the receipt plainly says right here that all refunds or exchanges on cameras must be done within 30 days of purchase."

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Every thought running through my mind at this moment was not acceptable. I closed my eyes and opened them staring straight into hers. "Ma'am, I bought this camera at the after Thanksgiving Day sale. I had no way of knowing that it wasn't going to work properly until now!"

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"Hate that for you!" she popped back.

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To keep from going to jail I picked up the camera box, snatched the reciept up and turned around to walk off. In the process of slinging myself around the end of the camera box came open and the camera went flying one way, the book went another, the cd went yet another and every single person checking out stopped to look at me. This only enraged me even more but humiliated Kristina. "Come on, Mom, let's get out of here!"

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As I walked to the door I looked over into my left hand not realizing that I was holding the warranty paperwork the entire time. "Hold it right there Kristina, we have a warranty on this thing. We are going back!"

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We rounded the corner to the customer service center and I was like a woman on a mission. "What if I have a warranty on the camera, can I get a refund then?" I asked sarcastically.

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This lady wanted so bad to tell me no because she and I were on the same page with frustration at this moment. "Yea, you can" she finally said. She was slamming and slinging and huffing and puffing because I was the last person that she wanted to give a refund to. As we walked to the truck I sort of felt a little bit of victory but then at the same time I felt shame for my actions. I sat right there in the truck and prayed in front of Kristina asking for forgiveness for my actions because I surely wasn't acting like a Christian and was most definitely not a light for God's army!

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As I drove to work today and passed Best Buy I got to thinking about that day because we have yet to find Kristina a new camera...here it is February and she is still owed a Christmas gift. I began to think about refunds and exchanges and about that time the song The Old Rugged Cross started playing on my I-pod and the chorus of that song struck a cord with me. I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown.

You know some days I feel like my cross is so big and so heavy that I can barely drag it around. It is as if I bend over, grab hold of it over my shoulder and shuffle a few steps and have to stop and rest and by the end of the day I realize I have gone nowhere. There are days where if I didn't have that cross I am just not sure how I would have made it through the day because that was all I had to cling to. But, most days I am proud to have that cross along side me because I want others to see that cross and pick up and carry their very own. "...anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:38.

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Don't get discouraged by your cross. Don't look at your cross as if it is a burden. Always remember that there will be a day when you will carry that cross up to the "customer service counter" and exchange that baby for a crown!

Hiding Out

I guess it was Kristina's 8th grade year. She was still going through her awkward phase and she was just learning what the term "girl drama" really meant. She was going through a place in her life where she was learning who to trust, who not to trust, she was becoming more mature but still wanting to be a kid and just going through your general transition from tween to actual teen.

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Kristina has always been a walking I-pod. She will randomly break out in song and dance anywhere at anytime. Walking through Wal-Mart, in the car, walking into a business office, just wherever. If a song hits her she goes with it. It is sort of entertaining to watch her. At 16 years old she is not embarrassed of this "talent" (and I say that loosely...haha) but at 13 or 14 years old she was all but humiliated to allow anyone to see this side of her.

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She was in class and the song hit her. I don't know all the words of it even though I have heard it about a million times but there is a part in the song that says "I'll keep you my dirty little secret." As she sat in class it took everything she had to be still. She just wanted to jump up, burst out into song and dance but she knew she couldn't. She raised her hand and asked the teacher if she could go to the restroom. As she walked down the hall she said she almost ran because she knew at any moment she would start singing and dancing in the hallway.

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As she rounded the corner into the girl's bathroom she carefully looked under each stall to make sure no one was in there. At first she was dancing around and singing under her breath but the more she got into it the louder she sang. She said that she ended up cupping her hand as if she were holding a microphone and began singing and dancing in front of the mirrors as if she were on stage.

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About that time she saw a hand start waving around the concrete partition that blocked off the doorway to the bathroom and the actual stalls. She stopped in mid-song and dance and said that it was if the breath had been knocked out of her when she heard "Ummmm, I just wanted to let you know that we can hear you out here in the hallway so it ain't a dirty little secret anymore!"

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She said that she mustered up the strength to say "Okay" but it sounded like a mouse gasping for air. She waited for a few minutes so that whoever "we" were would have plenty of time to go back to class and no one would know that it was her in the bathroom singing. She said after a good five minutes had passed she crept out of the bathroom looking left to right and saw no one so she headed on out the door. As she walked further into the hallway that's when she saw them. It was every single "popular" boy in the school. She said her face turned so red that she could feel her skin stinging when about that time they all started singing "I'll keep you my dirty little secret....dirty little secret!" She said that she dropped her head, ran through the line of boys who were now serenading her and collapsed back into her seat in class.

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As she told me the story that afternoon I was laughing so hard I could not breathe! To this day if she tells the story I can't help myself because I just can see her in this bathroom singing and dancing and just being, well, Kristina. She is an odd little bird but that is what makes her Kristina and I can't imagine her being any other way. To this day, this group of boys will break out into song when they see her just to pick at her and now that she has come into her own and isn't embarrassed by this "talent" she has she will stop, play air guitar and sing right along with them.

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You know alot of times we are just like that? We run and hide in the bathroom to pray because we are embarrassed of what someone might think of us. Jesus said "If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels." Mark 8:38. There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed of our Heavenly Father or the fact that we go to him in prayer or read his word. Imagine where we would be today if Jesus was ashamed or embarrassed to hang on that cross in front of all of those people for us?

<----This Much---->

Here it is Valentine's Day...well tomorrow is anyway! Love is in the air. I can just see Peppy Le Pue hopping around while the cat runs crazy trying to get away from him. That's the vision I have when I think of Valentine's Day. I guess I'm not much of romantic! (haha)

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Kristina has been racking her brain trying to come up with a gift for her boyfriend. Oh to be 16 again....actually....I think I'll stay where I am! (haha) But, she has been thinking and planning Valentine's Day for a few weeks now. Everything has to be perfect! She finally came up with this idea to make Jason a blanket. He is a huge Tennessee Titans fan and she wanted to make him a fleece blanket. You know the kind I'm talking about. You take two different things of fleece fabric, cut slits all the way around and then tie the two together. That is about the extent of mine and Kristina's "sewing" abilities. But, anyway, she thought this would be the perfect gift so off we went to Wal-Mart last night. (And, for the record, I must say, the place was a nut house! Every teenager this side of the Mississippi was in there last night trying to buy Valentine gifts!)

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We found the fleece fabric she was looking for, found the perfect card she wanted and then she asked if she could also buy some fabric paint. I didn't think anything about it and we walked back to the crafts department, found a pretty white color and checked out.

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When we got home she plopped down in the living room floor and started working on her blanket. She was meticulous about cutting the strips and then spent about an hour tying it all together. When she was finished she flipped the blanket over to the solid gray fleece that she had bought and started tracing the outline of her hand with the white fabric paint. I watched her as she worked never saying a word. She carefully placed the outline of her hand in each corner of this blanket. When she was finished she laid the blanket out in the middle of the floor to dry and started cleaning up after herself.

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"Why did you put the outline of your hand in the corners?" I asked.

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She grinned and her face turned red as if I had just said the most embarassing thing ever. "Ummm, I just wanted to" she answered.

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I looked at her and then looked back down at the blanket and said "No, seriously, I'm just curious why did you do that?"

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"I just thought that if I put my hands in each corner of the blanket he could see that my arms are stretched out saying 'I love you this much' and when he wraps up in the blanket my arms are always around him." She answered me so shyly with her head hanging down and her eyes looking up at me through her blonde hair while she twisted back and forth like a three year old that was in desperate need of a bathroom break.

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I grinned at her and smiled because out of all the teddy bears and candy she could have bought she was giving a gift from her heart!

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As I was walking through my office building this morning I was looking around at all the red balloons and flowers and cards. The color red just kept standing out to me. As I looked at each Valentine hanging around the building I began to see the red as Jesus' blood. He gave the ultimate gift from his heart, he gave his own blood. Mark 15:37 says "With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last." His death was painful, it hurt him, he gave everything he had, there was nothing left. With a loud cry he took his last breath. He died for me, for you, for your children, for that co-worker that drives you insane every day, for the lady in front of you in traffic that keeps tapping her brakes for no reason, he died on that cross for everyone. And, with his arms stretched beyond what they should have been he said "I love you this much!"

Rock Solid

I was in my early 20s when I first realized it. I was working for the auto loan department at AmSouth Bank. Kristina was a toddler and Gabe wasn't even a thought yet. Kristina didn't go to daycare because Shane's Mom didn't work and she was able to watch her for us. On this particular day Sharon called and told me Kristina was sick. I finished up what I was doing, clocked out and left.

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As I walked to the car I heard rumblings through the building about a bombing in Oklahoma, but I didn't pay much attention to what was being said. As I cranked the car the radio was already on. I heard the DJ begin to talk about how the Federal building in Oklahoma had been bombed earlier in the day and how horrific the scene was. I stopped for just a moment and listened and then flipped the channel. As I went through all the local channels one right after the other I realized that none were playing music and they were all talking about the same thing. I popped in a cd and pulled out of the parking lot heading towards Sharon's house.

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As I walked in to get Kristina, Sharon had the tv on and asked if I had heard the news. I told her I had and I started gathering up Kristina's things to leave.

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"That is just so sad! Who would do something like that?" Sharon asked.

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"Some crazy person I'm sure" I popped back half way acknowledging her.

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I picked Kristina up, threw her bag over my shoulder and out the door we went. As the day went on Shane called and talked about the bombing, my Mom called and talked about it and I was sort of annoyed at it all. Don't get me wrong, I felt bad for the people who lost loved ones and it was a terrible tragedy but at the same time it didn't affect me and to be judgment day honest I just didn't care. That is when I realized I was hard, like a rock.

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My roughness has come in handy throughout my life but it has also hindered me at times. I can be moved to an emotional flow of tears over watching my children perform or play a sport, I can be moved to tears by watching an elderly couple from a distance be so tender and sweet to each other. But, on the other hand, I can be harsh and cold. Major events that can bring some people to their knees just roll off my back as if it is an every day occurrence.

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This was on my mind this morning as I was driving to work. I was looking around at the trees and brush along the interstate when I noticed that in the rock there was life. I don't know if you have ever driven the interstates of Birmingham or not but you can tell where they had to blow up huge rocks in order to put the interstate road right there. These rocks have grass growing on top of them and here and there you can see trees growing right out of the side of them. Now, how in the world can that be? You learn in elementary school that you have to have good soil for anything to grow. And, yes, that is true but all things are possible with God!

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Jesus said in Matthew 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." I have learned to accept my harshness because after all God created me that way for a reason. Someone has to not be emotional during rough times and someone has to be the one to hold everyone else up. That doesn't mean that I don't eventually crack but during the heat of the fire I am not moved. But, in the blink of an eye, God can turn my heart and soften the blow a little bit and before you know it I too am ripe for grass to grow or a tree to sprout through my roughness. I think sometimes we look at others and we wish we could react the way they do. Maybe they are so sweet and kind and we want to be just like that but have you ever stopped to think that they look at us and think that we are so strong and firm and they wish they could be just like us? Sometimes we need to be rocks and then sometimes we need to be soil but no matter what we need to be at that moment, just always remember that through the fire and through the rain all things are possible with God!

Hitting The Brakes

It was a Tuesday morning. The office was crazy, as usual. The phone was ringing off the hook, I had to have a conference room and none were available. My boss needed this and that and she needed it yesterday. A young attorney that I work for was wanting to go over copies he needed made and yet another attorney had given me some dictation that he needed like last month and was standing over me asking how long until I'm done.

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About that time the phone rang again and it was Gabe. He started telling me how he didn't feel good and his stomach hurt and he needed to go to the doctor. Gabe isn't one who likes to go to the doctor so if he ever tells me he wants to go I stop and listen because obviously there is something wrong. I explained to him that things were crazy at my office and to go back to class, let me finish up and get everyone settled and that I would call the doctor and be on my way.

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For some reason when I left work I was still rushing. I couldn't seem to slow down. I was almost running to my truck and then weaving in and out of traffic all the way to his school. When I pulled up to the school I all but screeched the tires and ran inside the office. Naturally, Gabe just slowly came walking to the office. Even though he runs most everywhere he goes and he talks so fast you can barely understand him he moves slower than a turtle. It takes him forever to get dressed and when the mood hits him he just pokes along like he has all day to get from point A to point B.

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Finally, we jump into the truck and I zoom off. Once again I'm weaving in and out of traffic and my mind was racing with everything I had going on at work, at home, at the school, in the truck, you know, just normal Mom thoughts I guess. As we hit the interstate heading towards downtown Birmingham I began to get frustrated because people were randomly hitting their brakes. There was nothing in front of them, no animal had darted out (I mean hello we are on the interstate), there were no merging cars, no nothing they just all of a sudden seemed to find it acceptable to hit their brakes.

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"Why in the world are these crazy people hitting their brakes?" I asked outloud not really expecting an answer.

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"Because they see something" Gabe said.

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"Son," I explained "there is nothing in front of them. We are on the interstate and all they have to do is hit the gas and go!"

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"Mom," he said "what you need to understand is just because you don't see what they see doesn't mean it's not there."

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How true, how true. Just because I didn't see their obstacle didn't mean it wasn't there. So many times we go through life becoming frustrated with people. We never see their obstacle so we have a "get over it" attitude. It is their obstacle, not ours, so therefore we aren't going to see what they see. Doesn't mean the obstacle isn't there and it doesn't mean that what they are facing isn't a huge wall that they just can't figure out how to climb over it and what they need is someone to say 'Hey, put your foot in my hand and I'll lift you over to the other side.'

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2 Samuel 22:19 says "They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support." Why do we do that? Why do we confront people in the midst of their disaster/obstacle? You know when they tap their brakes maybe we need to just tap our brakes right along with them instead of blowing our horns!!

Street Names

I love street names. Not your typical downtown 2nd Avenue street name but you know the good ole country street names. Like Bethel Road...wonder why it is called Bethel Road? Who named it? What happened on that road to make someone want to call it Bethel Road? Or, what about Greathouse Road? That's the name of my road. Was that someone's last name? Did someone build a huge, beautiful house on that road one time and that's why they named it Greathouse Road?

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I just can't help myself wondering about these street names. Every day I drive to work on the exact same road and every day I read these street signs all the way in. I drive on Warrior Jasper Road and I pass Lundy Drive, Mayfield Road, April Drive, New Bethel School Road, Greathouse Mountain Road, Plum Blossom Lane and many more. These street names just get me thinking.

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I would think that it takes alot of thought into naming a street. I mean that street name will forever be etched in someone's memory. "Yeah, I grew up on Jackson Road" or "He proposed to me at the house on County Line Road." The names of these roads mean so much to people. Some names have good memories and some names have not so good memories. Maybe someone lost a relative in a car wreck on a road or maybe someone's life changed in an instant on a road. But these names all mean something to everybody even if it is just directions. "Take a left onto Bagley Road and then take a right onto Tate Mill Road." To someone who lives in the area that makes perfect sense. The road names mean something.

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This is the same with us. We all mean something to someone. A memory can flood into the mind of someone who loves us just by the mere mention of our name. Alot of thought went into naming us and our names are forever etched into someone's memory. Good or bad.

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Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." We are all unique, even in God's eyes. He knew us before we were born. He carefully placed us in the womb of a woman who would give us a name that would forever be important to those around us. He knew the plan for our lives and made sure to put us in the right situations time and time again for our purpose to be fulfilled. Some days we wander around not knowing if we are on the right "road" but I promise you, if you wake up each morning with your eyes upon the cross he will always make sure our feet are on the right road.

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What road are you on today? Are you lost? Well, just take a left at Forgiveness Street, then an immediate right onto Mercy Avenue and you will see Amazing Grace Way right in front of you. From there you can't miss Calvary Road!

Lori 4:32

Have you ever thought about your life as a book in the Bible? We are doing a study in the book of Joshua at church and I've been thinking. The Bible is full of stories of people's lives and the hills and valleys that they experienced. Their sin their obedience. It's all in there. So, what would the book of Lori be like? Hmmm....interesting thought ain't it?

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Chapter 1 would most definitely be about my childhood. The way I was raised in a loving home with wonderful Godly parents. It would discuss how I was the child that could make even James Dobson scratch his head every once in a while. There would probably be a verse or two in there about how at a young age I had to learn things the hard way. I couldn't just listen to advice or instruction and heed it, I had to actually do it before I believed it for myself.

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Chapter 2 and 3 would probably consist of my early teens years. The years where I finally realized that I did know everything and my parents knew nothing. They were just trying to ruin my life you know. They were old and didn't know a single thing about anything. There would be a verse or two in there that discussed different lies I told and ways that I got myself out of trouble using my deceptive tongue (probably around these verses is where the analogy of a snake would appear...haha).

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As you continued to flip through the book of Lori you would come to several chapters that talked about my late teens and early 20s. How I became pregnant at the age of 17, a wife and mother at the age of 18. How I wandered through the desert for years and years trying to lead my own life to only make an even bigger mess of it. If you were studying the book of Lori you would probably, at this point, scratch your head and wonder why in the world I was in the desert. You, the reader, could see the light at the end of the tunnel and you could see the destructive road I was on and the entire time you just sit there shaking your head.

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As you would continue your study you would finally come to a chapter that discusses my turn around. The events in my life that finally led me to Jesus. This part of the book of Lori would begin to paint a picture of a broken woman who was finally beginning to see that she had made a mess out of her life. I began to realize that I needed God more than anything and that without him I was truly nothing.

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There have been many great things about my life and there have been many not so great things about my life. Some of the pain I have caused myself and some of the pain has been caused to teach me a lesson. But if there is one thing I want more than anything it is to know that the very last verse in the book of Lori says "...when her life was over everyone was able to see how great God truly is." I have spent many years living a life that was nothing more than a lie and now I want nothing more than to be a light that makes other people stop and look. Ask me what is so different about me. God's covenant to us is the same today as it was before we even existed.

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Nehemiah 9:32 says "O our God, the great, mighty and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love, do not let all this hardship seem trifling in your eyes..." I found this verse just this morning and honestly I'm not sure what is written in the verses before this one or even after this one. I'm not sure exactly what was going on at this time for this verse to be written and what the significance of it is in full context but what I do know is that when I read this verse it reassures me that God is great, mighty and awesome. He was way back then and he is right now. He keeps his covenant of love and no matter what hardship I face in my life I know that he has brought me to it and he will most definitely bring me through it. What would your book be about? How would it start? Would it get real interesting in the middle? But, more importantly, how would it end?

Holes...

Have you ever noticed how many holes can appear in your yard? We have several. I have one out towards the very back of the yard near the fence where Shane and I planted a plum seed last summer just to see if it would grow. The hole isn't there anymore but I can still see by looking at the soil where we dug.

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Up towards the side of the house where we park the cars is a hole that the dog dug. Actually, we had to get rid of that dog because he was going to dig our house directly down into the core of the earth. He was one major digging machine.

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Over on the left side of the house there are some holes where Shane and Gabe have been doing yard work trying to clear out some brush that was on the fence line and they have been pulling up trees by the roots and naturally we are left with holes.

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I walk through my yard and with every hole I can tell a story. Several of the holes we have filled in numerous times with soil but when it rains sometimes the soil washes away and we are left with, well, a hole. If you walked through my yard you may simply walk right over the hole that is directly in the middle of my back yard and never even notice it. But I know it's there. I can walk straight to it.

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You know we go through our lives with holes in our yard. Many of us have holes that were dug as children and we have tried to refill those holes throughout our lives with bad realtionships and in the end the soil washes away and there is still nothing but a hole. Several of us have holes because of a lost loved one. Time has worn on and others have forgotten but each and every day we know right where the hole is and can retell the story without having to stop and think for a second. A few of us have holes in our lives that we have dug ourselves and after realizing that we shouldn't have dug the hole we tried to take the soil and pack it back in there but no matter how hard we try the hole remains. All of us have holes that were planted with alot of thought and care. They were filled with a wonderful seed that grew over time and has sprouted something wonderful in our lives. Maybe it was our husbands or maybe our children or maybe a lasting friendship but you know that your life just wouldn't be as wonderful as it is if you didn't have that hole.

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Psalm 16:11 says "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence..." Holes in our lives are going to be dug. They may be dug by us or they may be dug by someone or something else. The key to living with these holes is making sure they are filled in by God. God knows which holes need to be planted with a seed, cared for and cherished so that they are fruitful. He knows which holes need to be simply refilled with soil and the soil he will use to refill them is so much better than the rocky ole dirt we have. God fills in our holes with joy, love, peace, comfort, forgiveness, mercy and grace. What do you fill your holes with?

Daddies

Our Father....that has been on my mind every day all day lately. The use of the word father in the Bible for our Lord and Savior has just had me thinking alot. Wonder why that word was used? Why not mother? I think I have figured it out!

My mother is my best friend. I can tell her things, share goals and dreams, argue with her and turn around and go shopping within minutes. She is compassionate, understanding, loving, and no matter what decisions I have ever made in my life she supports me. But, as a mother, she is the first one to say "that's enough" or "you're being ridiculous" or "have you seriously lost your mind" and then there is my all time favorite "you're going to regret that one." And, 99.9% of the time, she's right. I can count on my Momma to be there when no one else is there. I can count on her to think of things that no one else in the world would even consider. I am 34 years old and I promise you at this very moment if I called my Momma and told her that you had made me cry she would hunt you down and tell you what for and if you made me cry hard enough, she just might claw your eyes out! My Momma is one for the record books.

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But my Daddy...he is an awesome earthly father. I personally think he hung the moon. He knows EVERYTHING in my opinion. Daddy lets me figure things out on my own. He sits back and knows I'm making a huge mistake but he never says a word. He always nudges me left and right but he just stays there allowing me to figure it all out for myself. He has very strong opinions on things and if you try to adjust his thinking in even the slightest you better be prepared to have a debate on your hands. His opinions are not easily swayed and he stands firm in his beliefs. My Daddy has a way of making things better for me in a way that other people just cannot duplicate. I love my husband dearly but when it comes down to it, I need my Daddy.

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A little over a year ago I was in a serious car accident. While standing on the side of the road immediately following the accident Shane called not knowing what had just happened. My first words when I answered the phone was "I've been in a wreck" and I hung up. Why did I hang up on my husband you ask...because I had to call my Daddy! Several years ago Shane and I had a flat tire on the interstate. Cars were flying by us and I would squint with fear every time an 18-wheeler zipped by because it seemed like they were so close to Shane as he was bent over changing the tire. What did I do the entire time he was doing this near death experience you ask...I was on the phone with my Daddy!

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As I grow a little older and a little wiser I sit back and I watch Shane father our children. I can remember thinking he was too hard on them or he didn't listen to them enough or he didn't do this or that like I thought he should. But, in reality, he is doing exactly what a father should do. He sits back when "drama" surrounds our daughter and he doesn't get involved until he needs to. And when the time comes for him to get involved he is like the Incredible Hulk. There is no stopping him until the mission is accomplished. He is compassionate and caring with our children but at the same time he is stern and doesn't allow them to talk their way out of a mistake or broken rule. Me, well I'm a pushover. I can stand there and talk for hours and my children have learned this about me. They know that if they talk long enough and say it just the right way I can eventually get over what they did and more than likely they can get me so side tracked that I even forgot what we were talking about but not their Daddy. He keeps them focused on the issue at hand and if discipline is what they need then discipline is what they get. When my kids are sick, they want their Daddy. When they are heartbroken, they want their Daddy. When they need advice, they want their Daddy.

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Oh, don't get me wrong, they come to me too. We have laughed around our house and said I am like the first step and Daddy is the final step. Kristina and Gabe come to me with every day issues and questions but when it comes to getting down to business they go to their father. They know that when no one else is standing there with them their father is right there.

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I'm sure you know Matthew 6: 9-15 the Lord's Prayer. "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

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I know there are alot of people out there who don't have wonderful earthly fathers and that is sad but the reality of it is God is your father. He is the one who holds you accountable but he also loves you like no one else. He has all the answers and knows you better than anyone else. He is the one who keeps you in the fence and nudges you left or right but in the end the decision is ultimately up to you.

Dramatic

I love story telling. I guess it has always been my thing. I have always put my own spin on things and when I talk in person I am a very animated person so I add a little spice here and there. Shane and Gabe, not so much. They are both big kidders and jokesters but story telling is not their thing. My story telling abilities have been passed onto Kristina. Over the past 16 years I have learned to only pull certain portions from her comments because 98% of it is just her being dramatic. She is telling the truth but she adds a little spice here and there.

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Last night Kristina's boyfriend, Jason, was at our house after track practice. We were all sitting in the living room watching television when Kristina about jumped out of her seat and said "Hey Mom, did I tell you that Jason made me pet a horse Sunday night?!?!" She said it in almost a tattling tone and I could see her looking at Jason out of the corner of her eye.

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"No" I answered "you didn't say anything about that."

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"Well, we were at the hang out after church and he PICKS me up, carries me over to this horse, grabs me around my waist and starts saying 'conquer your fears Kristina' and he made me pet this horse!"

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Now, let me stop for a minute and explain to you that Kristina is absolutely terrified of horses. Why? I have no clue. There is alot of things that Kristina does and doesn't do that is, well, unexplainable. You just go with the flow with her sometimes.

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About this time Jason starts holding his hands up in the hair saying "Wait a minute, oh you just wait right there!"

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Kristina got even louder, talking over him and not allowing him to talk at all. She turned her whole body towards him and said "Yes you did, yes you did!"

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By this time Jason was laughing to the point that he couldn't speak a word. He looked at me and said "Miss Lori, you know..." and about that time Kristina started up again "You did, Jason. You made me pet that horse and told me to conquer my fears! You did!" He hung his head down and just started shaking it back and forth. When he looked up he said "Kristina, I did take you to the horse for you to pet it and I did tell you to conquer your fears but I didn't pick you up and carry you down there. I didn't grab you around your waist and make you do it. I simply took you by the hand and said 'come on let's go down to the horse so you can pet it and conquer your fears' and you willingly walked down there with me and did it."

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I stood there watching them as if I was watching a tennis match. My head went from looking at Kristina to looking at Jason and then just as if he hit a ball onto her side of the court I looked over at her and she said "Well, yeah, so that's what I said!" At this point we all started laughing and she leaned over, kissed him on the cheek and said "What can I say, I like being dramatic!"

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You know, sometimes we can be so dramatic about trying to explain our sin. Instead of just accepting the conviction we are given we try to justify it all and explain to God why we did what we did. Proverbs 28:13 says "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." It doesn't matter what sort of spin we put on the story. It doesn't matter what type of spice we add to the story. At the end of the day the action that we did, the words that we said, the path that we took was wrong. We committed a sin. We shouldn't conceal it. We should confess it, accept God's mercy and move on having learned from that experience.

Going Through The Motions

When Kristina turned 11 she decided that she wanted to play softball. Most of her friends played and she just didn't see what the big deal was. After begging for a few days, Shane and I finally gave in and agreed to let her play. The reason Shane and I had to do some serious thinking was because Kristina, even though she is so talented in many areas of her life, well, she isn't very athletic nor is she coordinated (especially at 11).

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After signing her up practice started almost immediately. She was so excited her first day of practice. She was all but bouncing in the car on the way to the park. She had her brand new glove, cleats tied in double knots and even made us buy her a pair of socks that came all the way up to her knees with the "cool stripes" down the side. She looked the part!

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After the coach talked to all the girls he started going through practice drills. This is when Kristina learned what softball was about. She practiced batting and hit nothing. They would throw her the ball and she would squeal and duck down to the ground. When asked to throw the ball she threw, well, like a girl. I sat in the stands all but chuckling because all these girls (and the coach) were taking this so serious but Kristina was there to have fun. She wasn't into batting, throwing or catching. She wanted to look cool and have fun with her friends.

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After practice we got into the car and she looked at me and began to tell me how she wanted to quit. Softball just wasn't going to be her thing she explained.

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"Well, you can't quit" I said. "You aren't a quitter. You made a commitment to play on this team and you will play the entire season. You don't have to play next year but this year, you play!"

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She huffed, rolled her eyes and rode home with her arms folded across her chest. You know, that scare tactic that kids have?!?! (haha)

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As the season wore on Kristina didn't get any better. They put her in the outfield and she would kick the dirt, pick flowers, watch birds fly by and only clapped when she noticed that everyone in the park was clapping but her. I got the biggest kick out of watching her.

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Kristina "looked" the part by wearing her uniform, pulling her hair up, wearing the sun visor, and having dusty cleats but she was just going through the motions. Her heart wasn't in the game. Sometimes we do that as Christians. We go to church, teach the class, sit in the pew, smile and greet other members, but we don't have the passion for the game. We show up and look the part but we never get involved to the point that it becomes a part of who we are.

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It says in Isaiah 49:6 "I will also make you a light...that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth." Have you ever noticed that if a light bulb isn't working at capacity you can't really see? Oh it shines, a little. It gives you just enough so you can make it through but you have to struggle and squint your eyes to really see what you're looking at. You know the light bulb is there because you can see it lit up but at the same time you know that it isn't glowing with it's full potential.

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Are you glowing at full potential? Are you just going through the motions?

If You Pray For Rain...

I couldn't have been more than 7 maybe 8 years old. It was the 80's and a time where kids could go outside and play without a fenced in yard and the parents not have to worry. Kids could not be seen or heard from in hours and no one worried. We all knew Grannie's rule...stay within the sound of my voice, when I call you better be able to hear me and when you shout back I better be able to hear you!

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Every summer Lisa, my sister, and I would go down to Milton, Florida and spend some time with my Grannie, my Mom's mother, my Grandma, my Dad's mother, and my Mom's brother and his family. They all lived right there together in one straight line. It was the perfect set up. My uncle lived in the middle and I had one grandmother to the left and one grandmother to the right. What better set up could a kid get? I loved my Grannie dearly but I was scared to spend the night in her house. I overheard her tell my Momma one time that she had a chicken snake in her house and from that day on...I spent the night at Grandma's house. Which worked out good for me. She loved her soap operas and Dallas would come on at night and I wasn't allowed to watch that at my house so when I went to Grandma's I was able to watch Dallas and I thought I was hot to trot! To this day if I am flipping through the channels and see Dallas on a channel, I stop for moment just for Grandma's sake!

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But, my Grannie, she was a card! She was always pulling pranks on you and sometimes you never knew if she was telling the truth or pulling your leg. This woman, however, was a God fearing woman! She loved the Lord and everybody knew it. She had a very deep impact on my life and I don't even know if she ever knew that.

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This particular summer that I am referring to there was a drought. It had not rained in forever I guess and Wednesday night service at Hickory Hammock Baptist Church had been reserved as a time for prayer for rain. I can remember Grannie and Grandma talking about the service at lunch and going over the drought and the affect it was having. I listened intently but I really had on clue what they were talking about.

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As all us kids ran and played all day long, Grannie called us in about an hour before we had to leave to get cleaned up for church. Cleaned up consisted of washing your face and your hands and running a brush through your hair. Now we had dirt and mud on our clothes but she wanted to make sure our faces were nice and clean! As we were getting ready to head out the door Grannie tucked her Bible under one arm, placed her purse strap in the bend of her elbow and tucked an umbrella under her other arm. With keys in hand we all started heading out the door.

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"Grannie," I asked "why do you have that umbrella? It's not raining!"

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She looked at me over the rim of her silver and black "Grannie" glasses and said "Honeychild, we are going to church to pray for rain. When you pray you must pray with confidence that God is going to hear your prayer and answer it. What type of confidence would I have if I didn't tote my umbrella?"

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With that being said we loaded up in the car and went off to church. I am 34 years old but if I close my eyes and concentrate I can still remember sitting in that pew watching these men and women earnestly pray for rain. They prayed almost begging God to allow it to rain. As the service ended I noticed that Grannie unclapsed her umbrella as if she was preparing to open it. I didn't ask any questions but followed right behind her like a baby duck following it's Momma. As we went through the double doors and into the foyer the front doors to the church were open. We stepped out onto the steps of the porch and low and behold...there was rain! My Grannie looked down at me, smiled that smirky smile that she had and just simply nodded. She didn't have to say anything to me, I totally understood.

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In my life there are times that I don't know how to pray. I don't know the words to say and I'm at a loss of what the actual need is. But, no matter how great or small I feel in this world I always pray with confidence. Matthew 21:22 says "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

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The definition of believe is to have confidence in the truth. Always pray believing that God is not going to give you what you want when you want it but he will always give you what you need when you need it!