It Is Finished

As we sat in church I could feel the glare of my Momma's eyes burning through the back of my neck. I believe some of my hair was signed as I sat there cutting up during church with my friends. I was probably 11 maybe 12 years old. Old enough to know better but young enough to not care. As the service continued the laser beam that went from my Momma's eyes to my head was getting hotter and more defined until finally she got up and came and sat by me.

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My heart sank as she made herself comfortable and all of a sudden this wave of anxiety washed over me. "Ooooohhhh I'm gonna get it when we get home!" That thought just kept running through my mind over and over and over again! After a few minutes my Momma began to pilfer through her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and began to write in shorthand a note. Once she was done she simply placed the note in the front portion of her Bible and looked on as if everything was okay.

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Immediately I began to panic! My Momma has THE WORST memory in the history of memories and my entire life she has written notes to remind herself to do everything and when she needed to write a note that was private she would do so in shorthand so nobody else would have a clue what that note said. I just KNEW at that moment way down deep in my knower that she had just written herself a note to spank me when we got home!! I couldn't swallow, my ears started ringing, I couldn't breathe...panic, anxiety, fear, terror...all of that washed over me.

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As soon as church ended I high tailed my rear end out of that church so fast and climbed in the back seat of our car and waited. Momma finally made her way to the car after what seemed like forever and I immediately started "Momma, I love you" I said. I said that over and over and over and then I started crying and begging for forgiveness "Momma, I'm so sorry...I love you! I'm soooo sorry! I love you!" After a few minutes of this Momma finally turned around and said "What on earth is wrong with you?" I babbled in some sort of other language with snot pouring down my nose, spit spewing everywhere, tears pouring out of my eyes like the kitchen sink..."You wrote yourself a note to spank me and I don't want a spaaaaaaaannnnnnkkkkking."

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After I spoke those words my Momma simply turned her head and drove silently home. As we pulled up into the driveway she turned around and said "Yes, you got in trouble for talking during church but the note was simply a reminder for me to pick something up at the store later on today! Trust me, I don't ever need a note to remind myself to spank you!" I don't remember what my actual punishment was but I know it wasn't a spanking. I think she felt sorry for me after seeing my anxiety. I had punished myself way worse than any spanking would ever do! I remember the rest of the day continuing to apologize over and over to Momma for talking during church and finally she said "You're forgiven...stop saying your sorry!"

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You know we do that as adults. We ask God to forgive us over and over again. Why? Do we not believe that we are forgiven? Do we not believe that the blood he shed on that cross was enough? "If that had been necessary, Christ would have had to die again and again, ever since the world began. But now, once for all time, he has appeared at the end of the age to remove sin by his own death as a sacrifice." Hebrews 9:26 (NLT). Christ didn't have to die over and over but every single time that we ask for forgiveness for the exact same sin we are putting him on that cross over and over and over...we simply crucify him! My friend, he said it better than any of us can say when he said "It is finished." John 19:30 (NLT).

Snip - - Snip

Okay, okay, okay, I must confess about how I come about my stories every day. Several months ago I received an email with an attachment/link called The Scripture Tree. Every morning I come into my office, sit down at my desk, open up The Scripture Tree and click on a flower. I pray asking God to reveal something to me this day and with each click He never fails me. Upon reading the verse I mutter for a few moments, reflecting on myself and my issues and then the words just seem to pour right out of me.

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With that being said I do believe that I am in a season of pruning! Let's see just this week alone the Holy Spirit has lead me to two different passages that discussed "pruning" for lack of a better term. And, just yesterday I was in a conversation with a wonderful co-worker of mine and during the conversation I referred to myself like kudzu who grows out of control at times and needs a gardener constantly trimming my vines.

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Then, today, my wonderful passage comes from John 15:2 "He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more." (NLT). Do you see a pattern here? To be judgment day honest with you I have been struggling this week with a few frustrations. I have been praying about my frustrations and little bit by little bit those kudzu vines are being snipped but today, my verse, has just put a little spring in my step. You see, I feel as though I am being reminded that although I have some branches that He has needed to cut off He has also come across some branches that just simply need to be pruned so that they can grow more. I don't know about you but that just made my day!

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What about you? Are you walking around today with a few dead branches weighing you down? Let THE GARDENER do His job today and you just do yours!! You may hear a little "snip-snip" throughout the day but don't panic...trust me...in the end you will feel so much better!

It Don't Fit

Have you ever lost a bunch of weight and none of your clothes fit? Girl I wish I had that problem but I'm reverse of that. I seem to gain weight and that makes none of my clothes fit! Oh well, that's just the way it goes I guess. What's the old saying? Time marches on and it is marching across your face....maybe time is marching across my belly! heehee

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Go to the moment where you either lost the weight or the gained the weight and you pull that shirt or those pants out of your closet, slip it on and wa-la you can finally button them (or maybe they won't button at all)! No matter which is the case I know you totally get my point right about now.

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What about trying to make a lid that was mistakenly put in the dishwasher fit back on the plastic bowl that it came with. It seems that no matter how hard you try or how many different ways you lay that lid on that bowl...it just won't fit!

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What about your Christmas tree? Oh honey, we have an artificial tree and the day we bought it I was amazed at how well that tree was packed into that tiny box but once I took it out, set it up and the holidays were over...it won't go back in that box! I have sat on the branches, hugged the tree, sat and pushed each individual branch back in the upright position and still...nothing.

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My life is like that too. Once I became a Christian I don't seem to fit in the same areas that I once did. Conversations that used to get me going...not so much now. People that I thought were my friends and I loved them dearly...I rarely, if ever, talk to them now. Things that I thought were so important...are just things now. Life has changed! And I'm glad! But, there are times where I will run into someone who I was fairly close to or maybe I'll be in the midst of a conversation or situation that before was no big deal to me and as I engage into the situation or conversation I realize that I don't fit. No matter how I squirm or move around I just don't fit.

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"And no one puts new wine into old wineskins..." Luke 5:37a (NLT). How true, how true! We are new creatures in Christ! We aren't the same ole person. Things are different, our lives have been changed and those people, conversations and situations...they aren't going to fit! And, thank goodness! Yes, you are to be an example, be a witness, reach your hand out to people but at the same time you don't fit in with them either! "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you." 1 John 2:15 (NLT).

Yard Work

I absolutely 100% cannot stand yard work. I love to have a pretty yard but I sure don't want to invest the time to make it happen. The weeding and pulling and trimming and hedging wear me out just thinking about it. And since I cannot stand yard work I made sure to buy a house last year that has tons of bushes, shrubs and trees! Go figure?!?!?

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Anyway, we have these two unidentified bushes that are in our yard that more like vines than they are bushes. We have hacked away at these things and they just seem to never end. Shane made the statement a few weeks ago that we were just going to have to stop and let winter come and cut them down then. I'm thinking to myself these bushes are from the absolute depths of hell and will never die!! [Okay, now you see where Kristina gets her dramtic-ness from!! haha] Every day I pull into my yard and see these two "bushes" and I just wonder how they are connected together, where their roots are, do they actually die in the winter and what in the world makes these things come back year after year?

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I look back at my life over the past year and I too once was that weird crazy viney bush in my yard. I just sort of grew all over the place and instead of serving some sort of purpose I just sort of grew out of control. Occasionally a gardener would come by and snap a few of my thin viney like branches off and burn them but I never could get it together enough to grow out of one central trunk. The moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior something changed. My thin little viney branches sort of jumped to attention and organized themselves. They formed into a trunk like they were designed to be and then little bit by little bit God whacked away at the weeds until I finally became the bush he created! Now, don't get me wrong, there are times were a branch goes crazy and veers off and tries to do its own thing but that is where instead of trusting just any old gardener to come through and trim my hedges I only trust THE GARDNER to do it!

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"Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned." John 15:6 (NLT). Are your branches gathered into one central trunk today? Is it time for your hedges to be trimmed? Or, has your branches been chopped off and are ready to be burned? The truth of the matter is none of us go through life going and doing whatever we want...someone is always there trimming our vines...just remember...even kudzu is able to be stopped!

You Gotta Believe

Are you a pray-er? Sometimes I am very diligent in my prayer life but other times not so much. I don't know if I'm the only one who is like that or if other people are the same way. I feel ashamed to even admit that but the truth is the truth and that is one thing I have always remained on this blog...honest! No matter how ugly or how bad I've always laid it all out there.

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So, anyway, back to my point...prayers. I went to the alter during the invitation at church yesterday morning. As I knelt down I had to iron out a few issues with God and then I began to pray about arguments that I have with Shane. I get so irritated with that man sometimes. I'm sure a few of you are laughing at the fact that I pray about my arguments with my husband but honestly I get to a point where I don't know what else to do but pray! I love Shane but he can be so difficult at times...or is it me that is difficult?!?!

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As I finished praying and returned to my seat I felt emptied of my burden. I felt a little bit lighter and peaceful. We all went home, ate lunch and Shane and I went to the mall. On the way there the one issue that causes he and I so much tension reared it's ugly head and before long we were in a heated conversation. It wasn't an argument but we were both making our points very clear. On the ride home I felt frustrated and didn't say a whole lot. I was annoyed, irritated, aggravated and just... ugh....

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As I came into work this morning I was immediately taken to Mark 11:24 "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours." (NLT). My heart felt a little prick as soon as I read those words. I had prayed about the situation but I honestly don't think that I truly believed it would be resolved. Taking things to the feet of Jesus is easy. You just lay it all down there and walk away and you feel free and unstressed but I seem to struggle with actually believing that he picked up what I laid there.

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What can I say? I'm a work in progress. What about you?

You Gotta Believe

It's funny how a conversation can quickly go from one thing to another. My favorite types of conversations are those that start out very surface and then turn into a wonderful conversation that ends up being church! I love to talk about God and my faith, the day I was saved, the trials that I have been through, mistakes I've made and the blood that covered them, God's grace...I could go on and on! I love to learn and ask questions. Although I was raised in church it is as if I'm hearing Bible stories for the first time and I get so excited.

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Next weekend our church is hosting a Beth Moore simulcast and I'm so excited! I went last year but I wasn't saved and I am so excited about going and hearing her now that I get it! I was telling someone that the other night and they looked at me sort of funny but it's okay...I know what I mean! haha

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Anyway, last weekend my parents came to spend the weekend with us and we got to talking and just messed around and had a little church right there in my living room! Our topic turned to salvation. My Momma was saying how that she was married to my Daddy, pregnant with me, was teaching Sunday School and had a head knowledge of Christ as her Savior but wasn't saved. She said she had been baptised so many times that she knew every tadpole in the pond by name! haha (I love my Momma...lol). As our discussion deepened I shared about the day that I was saved. As I took Bro. John's hand, I told him that I didn't think I was saved. I told him that I had been baptised but I just wasn't sure. That's when he said words that I will never forget. He told me that if I had only spoken the words asking Jesus Christ to save me but I had never actually truly believed that he died to save me and that he forgives me then I had done nothing more than speak words.

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As I stood there listening to Bro. John talk it all became very clear to me. Speaking the words was only a part of it...actually believing is the key! "I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life." John 5:24. Do you believe today or do you just have that knowledge that you spoke some words? Let me tell you friend if you don't believe with everything in your soul that Jesus Christ died on that cross for your wretched old sorry self then you don't have your eternity sealed! Remember the plan of salvation is ABC! A-Admit B-Believe C-Confess! There is no time like the present!

Gotta Be First

My sweet precious Gabe always has to be first. He has played youth sports since he was 5 years old and every time there is a line to run a drill he will knock people down to be first. School is no different. I have seen him push his way through a crowd of kids to be the first one in line. There are times he doesn't even know what he is lining up for or what he will have to do and he really doesn't care as long as he goes first.

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And competitive...oh my goodness gracious that boy is so competitive. He must not only be the first in line but he must finish first! He takes every loss to heart and acts as if he is carrying the game only on his shoulders. On the way home from a losing game he critiques everything he did wrong and hangs his head in such disappointment. But, with every game won he rides home on cloud nine discussing every great thing he did that game.

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First, first, first...that is where Gabe wants to be. Although Shane and I constantly tell him "Son, you're not always going to be first, you're not always going to win the game. The main thing is that you glorify God whether you win or lose." Although Kristina doesn't want to be the first one in line she tends to make sure her presence is known. Don't we all fall into one of these categories? Sometimes people tend to brag or talk about what they "have" in order to make themselves feel better and those words seem to stick you in the heart and make you hang your head down feeling as though you just lost a game. They feel as though they must be first...they must be the best and in turn it makes you feel like you just finished last...that you're the worst.

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I like the way Jesus put it in Mark 10:29-31 "Jesus said, 'Mark my words, no one who sacrifices house, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, land—whatever—because of me and the Message will lose out. They'll get it all back, but multiplied many times in homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land—but also in troubles. And then the bonus of eternal life! This is once again the Great Reversal: Many who are first will end up last, and the last first.'" (MSG). Hmmm...I'm at a loss for the words to finish up this blog because there just aren't any words that you can say that are worthy enough to follow words spoken by Jesus!

How Do You Survive?

What does it take for you to survive? I'm not talking about air, food or water. I'm talking about stuff. What "stuff" do you need to survive? Could you survive if you didn't have your house? Are you the type of person who could live in a box on the street? What about your car? Does it really matter to you what type of car you drive?

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There was a time when Shane and I were young and stupid (now we're just old and stupid). We lived in a 1976 12x50 trailer. Our rent was $100 a month. This trailer was a roof over our heads but I must say we could have done alot better for Kristina had we really wanted to. But $100 a month was all we could afford in rent. Why is that? Well, I'm glad you asked. We could only afford $100 a month rent because we both drove fairly new Camaros. Oh girl let me tell you...we lived in a dirt hole but we drove some nice cars. Our priorities were in our vehicles because that is what everyone saw. We didn't really invite people over because we wanted to make sure to drive our fancy cars to somebody else's house. See, we could keep up that image with our cars.

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I would like to say that we learned our lesson way back then but we didn't. I had a horrible accident a little over a year ago and instead of purchasing a used truck to replace our totaled one and getting a cheap vehicle payment I was more concerned with getting the newest, nicest thing I could find. And, I purchased a truck that I don't need, that cost way too much and that stares at me every single day and laughs at me. It does...I've heard it! Every day that I climb into that truck I am reminded of my mistake.

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But, back to my original question, what do you need to survive? What about make-up? Could you go to work without your face on? Are you the type to get your nails done each week? If so, what if you had to do them yourself? What does it take for YOU to get through each and every day?

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In Luke 4:4 Jesus tells us what it doesn't take to get through the day and then just for good measure he makes sure we understand what it SHOULD take. "...man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God." (KJV). That word "bread" can cover alot of things. You can take it literally to mean food or it can mean cars, houses, make-up, clothes, nails, shoes, purses, perfume, hard wood floors, a beautifully decorated living room, etc. Are we living by "bread" or by the word of God? I would like to sit here all on my pedestal that I made for myself and tell you that I live by the word of God every single day but, to be judgment day honest with you I don't. Material things mean alot to me. Some more than others. That house, that truck, those clothes...that "bread" isn't going to get me anywhere but, the word of God is going to take me everywhere! What are you surviving on today?

I've Got A Secret!!

I love secrets! Do you? I love to play the secret game with kids. You whisper something in their ear and then make a big deal about it and tell them to go tell someone else and when they repeat it there is absolutely not one single word close to what you had originally told them. I used to get Gabe and Kristina to go and tell Shane all sorts of things because I enjoyed listening to them re-tell what I "didn't" say...haha

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I would like to think that I'm a good secret keeper and with some things I am but oh with others I'm just an Aunt Tolly. I tell the whole thing. I can't keep it to myself. It just blurts right out of my mouth! I can't "hoover" it back in fast enough once I realize what I've done. Once it's out there...it's there. I cringe when someone says "Now, don't tell anybody" because I'm thinking to myself please let it be something I can keep a secret! haha

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Shane has a hard time keeping secrets too. One year we bought the kids a trampoline for Christmas. We stood in line for hours the day after Thanksgiving to get a good deal on it and as we sat at Pizza Hut several weeks later having a night out with the family he blurted out in conversation "How long do you think it will take to put that trampoline together?"

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"...this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory." Colossians 1:27 (NLT). So many times we act as if Christ is a secret that we can't share with others. We hold it all in and don't tell it to everyone we see. I'm just as guilty of this. I go through my daily routine never stopping and thinking that I am coming in contact with people who need the Lord. I am very guilty of praying asking God to open doors for me to serve him but then when the opportunity arises I am too blind to see (or maybe I'm too scared) that the door is just standing there gaping open. Maybe it's time that we look at our Savior like a mouth watering secret that we just can't keep! I bet we would tell more people about Him...after all...aren't we women? Don't we gossip? Might as well be talking about something good don't 'cha think? I've got a secret...what about you?

Soft Water/Hard Water

Have you ever had someone come out to your house for a "water test" and then try to sell you some very expensive water softening system? Oh gracious I have. I get a call one night from this company telling me that they are going to be in our area and are asking for families who are willing to allow them to do a "science experiment" on our water. My kids were a little younger and I thought the "science experiment" would be good for them so I agreed. I had no idea what I had just agreed to!

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When the man arrived he was toting what appeared to be a suitcase and as he pulled it out my kids were all over it. He had test tubes and widgets and gadgets of all kinds. He took samples of water out of every faucet in our house and then started his test and showed the kids what he was doing, allowed them to help and then dum-dum-dum-duuuuummmmm he looks up at Shane and says "Man, ya'll got hard water out here!"

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Well, that opened up a can of worms because the man immediately started trying to sell us this water softener system. It was outrageous and something that we surely couldn't afford and didn't really need. Now, tempers often flare in my house, harsh words are thrown like daggers from time to time so had he been selling a WORD softener system we would have been all over that one!

"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." Proverbs 15:1 (NLT). I would love to sit here and tell you that I am a soft spoken, quiet, meek woman. I would love to say that I keep my thoughts to myself and allow things to just work out on their own. I would love to say that I know when and where it is appropriate to address a situation and I would surely love to say that my expressions/body language says WAY more than my words. But, I can't. I often times fly off the handle at any given moment. I'm sort of like a rocket, never quite knowing when I might explode. I pop off at the dumbest things sometimes and even though I don't mean to I am often sarcastic, rude and just plain tacky. That is why I love this verse so much! I must remind myself time and time again throughout the day that A GENTLE ANSWER DEFLECTS ANGER! A gentle answer...a gentle answer...a gentle answer...

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I often laugh at myself because I wonder why people get so defensive with me and I act like something is wrong with them when the truth of the matter is...my harsh words make their temper flare...oh yeah...that's in that verse too...YIKES! Harsh words make tempers flare...HARSH words make tempers flare...

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Today is Friday and here we are back to school, I can smell the football stadium in the air, Fall is coming and the wind is starting to blow...okay maybe not quite but it's getting there! Be kind with your words today...don't flare anger! =)

Great Is My Thankfulness

Great is my THANKFULNESS! .

Great is my THANKFULNESS! .

Morning by morning Your praises I sing. .

All that you give to me I purely treasure; .

Great is my THANKFULNESS, Lord, unto you! .

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What if that were actually the words to that song? We sing praises to God for His faithfulness, His mercy, His forgiveness as we should but I think maybe we are forgetting to stop and say thank you in the process! We (I) don't thank God for the birds and the trees, my groceries and my gas, my hair and my nails, my clothes and my shoes, the sunrise and sunset, the sunshine and the rain, the grass and the leaves... As a Mom I often feel "unthanked" for the things I do. Not that I want a big pat on the back every single day and I would pass out if my family thanked me continuously for cooking them dinner every night but at the same time a sweet "thanks" is always welcome. So, I've been doing a serious gut check today and I've been wondering how often I say thank you to My Father?!?!

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I have noticed that as I pray I quickly rush over how wonderful I think my Savior is and get straight to the point with MY needs. I'm wondering if my needs would seem to diminish if instead of spending my prayer time asking for things I spent that time more wisely and simply spent some time with the Lord praising and thanking him?!?!?

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"Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me." Psalm 103:2 (NLT). It doesn't say let just a little bit of me praise the Lord, only praise Him for a few seconds in my prayers...it says let ALL that I am praise the Lord. ALL...that is everything! But, didn't He give us EVERYTHING when he hung on that cross for us?

Free At Last!!!

Oh yeah!! Uh-huh!! Right on!! Here we go!! All Moms are rejoicing today...we are FREE...it's the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! Woop Woop Now, I'm not a stay at home Mom but let me tell you that when Summer is in full swing my desk phone rings non-stop. My kids are calling me it seems like every thirty seconds to ask me something, fuss about this, tell me what so and so just said and blah blah blah. So....to pull out of the driveway this morning knowing that it was THE DAY I just couldn't help but drive to work with a smile on my face!

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For those of you whose children are already grown and you just can't remember that feeling or maybe there are a few of you who have small children and the school thing hasn't happened yet and then if you fall in the category that you don't have any children of your own let me give you an analogy just so it all makes sense...you know when your husband shaves and he leaves those little pesky whiskers EVERYWHERE?!?!? In the sink, on the counter top, on the floor, on the faucet...the first day of school is that feeling that you would get IF your husband actually cleaned that mess up all by himself!!!

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You do realize that we have that same freedom through Christ don't you? Jesus can take your guilt, your shame, your frustration, your unforgiveness, your hatred, your pain and just throw it as far as the east is from the west. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1 (NIV).

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So many times we get burdened down with life, heartache, struggles, trial, tribulations, gossip, wrong decisions, mistakes, lies, tempations...need I go on? But, the thing we must remember, girls, and I mean we MUST remember this...we are FREE!

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I personally struggle with letting go of things some times, most of the time, ALL THE TIME and a wonderful friend of mine put it to me in the most precious way yesterday. She said, "Take a glass bowl or cup and fill it with water. As you are filling it with the water you say outloud what that water represents. It may be heartache, unforgiveness, guilt, whatever it is within you that is causing you to not have the right relationship with Christ but you say it outloud so that YOU know what that water represents. Then, go outside, kneel down in your driveway or on your sidewalk and tell God that you are giving him this THING that is holding you down. Dedicate it before the Lord. Stand up and say in the name of Jesus I'm letting it go and drop the glass bowl/cup and watch the liquid go everywhere. In doing that you just dropped it all at the feet of Jesus. No matter how hard you try you can't scoop that water back up and the same goes for whatever it was that water symbolized. Now, it is done...it is finished...just as it was finished that day on the cross!"

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If you are struggling with freedom today can I challenge you to fill up a bowl/cup. Don't you think it is about time that we live like we are FREE?!?!?!

What About The Bad Guys?

As they all sat around on the floor rolling their trucks back and forth I sat in front of them telling the Bible story. It was the story of the Good Samaritan and how he came along and helped the poor man who had been beaten up and left lying on the dusty road. I talked about how kind this man was to help the man. I talked about how even as 3 and 4 year old little boys we can do things that are kind to help others. I explained that they may not be big and strong or rich but there are so many things but their little hands can hold the hand of somebody else, they can pick up toys, they can smile or wipe away someone's tears.

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As the boys zoomed around on the floor I knew they were listening. Having a son of my own I understand the concept that if a boy is paying attention to you then he is fidgeting with something. As long as they fidget then I know they hear!

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As the lesson ended everyone stood up and sat down at the table for snack time and we all talked and laughed and giggled and played around. Before I knew it Sunday School was over and it was off to church for the morning service.

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My Sunday routine didn't change very much that afternoon and as I sat down in the sanctuary for evening service a mother approached me. Her son is in my Sunday School class and she wanted to tell me what her precious baby had said that day about our story. He was telling her about the Good Samaritan and the kind thing that he did but then this baby asked his Mom, "What about the robbers? Who helped them?"

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Hmmmm...I never thought about that before. I've never sat and thought about what happened to the robbers. I've never wondered if they received salvation at some point in time later in their lives. I've never wondered if they found the man they robbed and asked for forgiveness. Funny how after hearing that story a million times it took a 4 year old to remind me what life is really all about.

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"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Who are you being kind to? Are you looking for the obvious or the hidden? Do you only have compassion for the beaten man or do you also have compassion for the robbers? Trust me, I'm seriously doing a gut check today!

Flowers - Reminders

Well as if my Thursday didn't start off bad enough with my husband making me ill (refer to yesterday's blog) the day just went downhill from there. Work was...ummmm...I will just sum it up like this... I WORK IN A LAW FIRM! That should be enough said. People have said that attorneys and doctors are from the same breed. If you've ever been in a situation where you were irritated with a doctor then you probably get my drift. I love the two attorneys I work for but have some issues with a few others on my hall.

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But, anyway, I had to say all of that for you to understand my point today. I find it interesting that just when you think you've had enough and just can't take one more thing that one more thing happens. Just when you think you're going to blow someone adds a little steam to that engine. I guess that's the nature of the beast though.

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However, just when you are at your limit you are reminded that things are okay and that He is with you. As I came home last night things in my house had smoothed over and things were quiet. As I came into work this morning I had flowers on my desk from the two attorneys I work for. A payoff? Maybe but no matter what intentions were behind the flowers and the peace and quiet at home last night it was nothing more than a reminder that He is with me. Every step of every day.

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"And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” John 8:29 (NLT). He has not deserted me. I refuse to allow the devil to take my joy. I refuse to allow frustrations at work and even at home to wipe the smile off my face. Because at the end of the day when I lay my head down on the pillow I know where my eternity rests. This ole world is just a stopping place. Every trial, every tribulation, every heartache, every tear, every frustration, agitation, annoyance, argument, etc. is nothing more than preparation for my eternity. I am here on earth to learn to be the angel God intended me to be when I get to heaven! See His ultimate plan for me is to worship Him for eternity in the wonderful city He created for ME...heaven! And, in order for me to get there...I've got to be chiseled down a little bit, fine tuned to perfection. I'm fine with that...chisel away!! I love flowers...but...I LOVE reminders! Funny how they sometimes go hand and hand!

Husbands...ugh...

As I type this blog today I am irritated with Shane. Like husbands tend to do he has made me mad. I don't know about your house but in my house when Momma gets ill people start tip toeing. And, Momma's ill! haha Honestly, it is not that big of a deal and I'm sure those of you who are married know that husbands can just rub you the wrong way sometimes.

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As I was driving into work I was talking on the phone with a really good friend of mine and we were both on the husband rant. She is ill with hers and here I am ill with mine. We fussed and laughed and picked and poked and actually had a really good time.

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I came into the office and sat down at my desk thinking about how ill I was with Shane and as I opened up my web browser to get my daily word I clicked on Mark 3:24, "A kingdom divided by civil war will collapse." (NLT). In no way do I think that I have a "kingdom" in that little blue house in Dora, Alabama but, I do think this verse was meant for me today!

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So many times as a Mom, as a wife, as a woman I just want to throw my hands up and say "Forget it!" I get tired of the struggle, feeling like I'm beating my head against a wall. Teenagers have this uncanny way of wearing you down! (They must learn it from the husband...heehee). It is easy to have civil war rise up in your home. It rises up in our neighborhoods, our counties, our states, and even our country and we see the outcome of that! We can't allow that restlessness to rise up in our homes. No matter how frustrated, how tired, how outdone we get we must put our foot down towards the enemy and say "Not in my house!"

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The walls around my "kingdom" get nicks and scrapes on them. Sometimes a few bricks fall from time to time but there will be no collapse! The enemy messes with the wrong Mom/wife/woman when we thinks he is going to step into my "kingdom"! See, my "kingdom" has Jesus Christ sitting on the throne and guess what...he can't touch that! So, instead of throwing my hands up and saying "Forget it" to those who actually matter, this ole buzzard is saying "Forget it" to the enemy...keep on walking Mister! =)

Envy = Burned Bridges

I wish I could sit here and say that I have never envied anyone before. I wish I could say that I have never looked at someone else's life only wishing it were mine. I wish I could say that I have never looked at someone else's kids who seem to have everything and quietly wish to myself that my kids were like that. I wish I could say that I have never looked at another woman who seems to always look like she just stepped out of a magazine with perfect clothes, perfect hair, the perfect face, the perfect everything and quietly wish to myself that was me. I have done all of these things and to be judgement day honest I catch myself doing that now. Hopefully I'm not the only one who feels this way.

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Many times my wishing has turned into envy and then turned into jealousy which then turns into fire and burns a bridge. This is one of those things I do not like about myself. I work hard and I mean HARD to not be like this. It isn't that I'm not satisfied with what I have because I am. I am very blessed and I am very happy but to hear someone else talk about things that I long for is hard. I don't know, maybe I'm sitting here today and only describing myself and no one else out there feels this way and I'm looking like a fool. But, anyway, it is what it is.

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As time has traveled on like it seems to always do I am starting to realize that my path is leading right back to these burned up bridges. I am having to rebuild them and cross them again. I am having to learn to say "I'm sorry" and smile even when I don't really want to. I am having to learn to not be so controlling. I am having to learn to shut up and listen. But, I'm having to learn that not everyone is going to like me and there are even people who possibly despise me. I am not the person I once was and I have to swallow that huge pill of realization that my previous actions have cost me much.

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Walking away from these people who despise me would be easy. Not attempting to rebuild a relationship would be simple. Walking on past them as if they did not exist would make my life so much easier but, that isn't the way these things should be handled. I have finally matured to the point that I know this life is not my own. I do everything I do for Him! To glorify my Savior and in Luke he tells me exactly what to do with these people and in these situations. "But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you." Luke 6:27 (NLT).

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I am learning that some of the hatred people feel is because of a previous action on my part. Not all the time but sometimes. I am learning that my smile, my acceptance of their feelings and my letting go is exactly what Luke 6:27 is talking about. Listen, we can't make everyone like us. We can't control every situation. We can't make others forgive us. We can't turn someone else's heart. But, we can love them. We can be good to them. Maybe burned up bridges are impassable but there is always a river that we can jump into and swim to the other side.

No, No, No

As that little chubby hand reached across the table his hazel eyes looked over at me. He was peering out of the corner of his eyes and grinning trying to change my focus. As he pushed his arm he raised high up on his tippy toes and began to wiggle his fingers back and forth giving it everything he had. Almost....almost....almost....and then I called his name..."Gabe!" He flopped back down flat footed, yanked his hand back and pointed his finger at me and said "No, no, no!"

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He knew that he couldn't have whatever it was he was after. He knew that he would get in trouble and he also knew that precious little grin of his would melt my heart! Gabe has always been my investigator. He never took my word for anything. If the stove was hot and I would say "Don't touch...hot!" He would stumble over to it, touch it, look at me and yell "HOT!!"

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Gabe learns the hard way...he's just like his Mom! heehee As he has gotten a little older and has begun to knock on the door of teenage-hood he is becoming a little more hard headed but also a little more wiser. Gabe may learn his lessons the hard way but he never forgets them. You surely won't see Gabe making the same mistake twice!!

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As a Mom I am having to learn to let go and let Gabe (and Kristina) make some mistakes on their own, learn things the hardest way possible and keep my mouth shut the entire time. I am having to allow the Holy Spirit to teach them, work in them, move them just as He does me. Phew...that's hard! I call my Momma on a regular basis and say "How in the world did you do this?" You want to know what her reply is? It is very informative, very comforting, very helpful...she always says "Baby, I have not a clue!" (haha)

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But, you know what though? Just as my kids are still a work in progress so am I. And, here's a news flash for you...so are you! "But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ." 1 John 2:27 (NLT). So many times we try and model ourselves after someone else or we try to follow what we think is right. We tend to think we know what is best for ourselves when the truth of the matter is we are just like Gabe reaching across that table smiling just hoping we can distract God. But, guess what? Is there is no distracting Him! He's our Father and he teaches us...scolds us...corrects us but most of all He loves us!