Praise During The Storm??

As we go through life things happen to us personally, financially, professionally, and every other kind of "ally" way possible. Good things happen, bad things happen, so-so things happen and then sometimes nothing happens. I have noticed that for me, I tend to praise God for the good things and share non-stop about the good things but when bad things come my way I tend to say "He will provide" and yes he will but I don't praise him for that storm. I don't say "Thank you God for allowing blah blah to happen." Are you like that?

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My beautiful daughter Kristina is a survivor of dating violence. I used to say "victim" but over the past few months as I have learned more and more about what happened when no one was watching I have changed "victim" to "survivor." I have done tons of research and learned more than I ever wanted to know about the statistics of dating violence. At this very moment there is a Mom who is planning her daughter's funeral due to dating violence and here I sit simply talking about it. Therefore, Kristina is a survivor.

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Kristina's journey started a little over two years ago but my journey as the Mom in the know started about this time last year. Once I became aware of the situation it seemed like everything spiraled out of control. There were arguments, tears, cries, slamming doors, moments of complete breakdown and then there was sunshine. Some days we still have cloudy days but for the most part our days are sunny with rainbows so bright you can barely open your eyes.

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After nearly two years of verbal abuse Kristina struggles with other people's perception of her. She had stayed very quiet about her ordeal and when asked she simply smiles, nods and removes herself from the conversation. But, in the blink of an eye it seems like she is no longer doing that. She is talking, she is sharing but more than sharing she is witnessing. Last night at her girl's youth Bible study she spoke about what happened to her. She gave details, she gave examples but most importantly she gave these girls hope. Her main goal was to make these girls understand that it doesn't have to be them.

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When she came home she was so tired. I could see the exhaustion on her face and I was so proud of her because I know how difficult that was for her to do. These are girls she attends church with, school with and here she was pouring out her heart which included secrets that she had never shared with anyone other than me.

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I was driving to work today and I was thinking about her. I was thinking about where we were this time last year. I was thinking about where we were six months ago. I was thinking about how proud I am of Kristina. Throughout the past year I never questioned God as to why this happened and/or was happening but at the same time I didn't praise him either. I had the faith down to my core that God would bring us through the storm but I never stopped to thank him for the storm. Without that storm, without that rain Kristina would not be the young woman she is today. I would not be the Mother I am today. But more importantly, my entire family would not be the Christians we are today. Personally, I struggle with praising God during the storm and that is something I am going to have to work on. God is worthy of my praise before the storm, during the storm and after the storm. After all, he created that storm, filtered it through his hands and allowed the rain to fall because he knows the plan for each and every one of us.

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"If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever." 1 Peter 4:11. Everybody needs a little rain. Flowers can't grow where there is no water!

They Call To Me...

Hi! My name is Lori and I have a shoe addiction! =) Oh how I love them. I walk into a shoe store and it as if they all stand at attention and begin singing the Hallelujah Chorus in the most perfect unison I have ever heard. I stroll up and down each aisle and they whisper "buy me" and when I really find a pair that I like I promise you they begin to glow with the most beautiful golden beam I have ever seen and it as if all the other shoes gasps and I hear "AAAhhhhhh!!"

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I don't have a lot of shoes because (1) I can't afford them; and (2) I don't need them! But, oh how I do like them. High heels, flip flops, sandals, tennis shoes, mules, clogs, boots, black ones, white ones, red ones, ones with bows, and the list could go on and on and on. *Sigh* My heart is filled with excitement at this moment just thinking about them!!

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To me, shoes express your attitude. When I wear flip flops I tend to be changeable that day. I can't make my mind up. I flip and I flop all day long. Never really knowing what the final answer is. By the end of the day I have not really accomplished much but I have walked around with a smile on my face. Thoughts of the beach and the sun and the sand filled my head all day and just feeling the sunshine hit my feet gives me a boost of energy. When I wear high heels I tend to be poised and confident. My make up is usually a little heavier than I normally wear. My clothes are neatly pressed and I have noticed that I tend to have better posture. By the end of the day my feet hurt and they are screaming "let me out of here!"

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You know, attitudes are just everywhere. Some are good, some are bad. Some affect other people and some affect only you. But have you ever thought about what attitude would keep us away from sin? "Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin." 1 Peter 4:1. Honestly, I think that scripture says it all! There is nothing else that I can say! =) What shoes do you have on today?

Trees

As I'm walking into my building this morning and I'm looking at all the trees and bushes and pine straw and what not that the owners of my building have set up so that we can enjoy a beautiful landscape each and every day arriving to work. I'm not the type of person who knows the names of all the bushes and trees and flowers but some of them have caught my attention to the point that I always seek them out.

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The weeping willow is a beautiful tree to me. I like the way it is full and tall and even though it seems like the burdens of its life are weighing down its branches it still grows straight up toward heaven. Although it could easily break and fall it overcomes its adversities and stands tall as all trees do. But, no matter how straight they stand they still seem to want everyone to see all the weight each branch has on it.

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The dogwood tree comes in all sorts of colors. Some are tall and full while others are short and sparse. They only bloom at certain times of the year but when they do they are just breathtaking. Their blooms announce the beginning of a new season and even though they quickly fade you know they will return year after year.

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The pine tree stays green all year long but it isn't friendly. It has this awful sticky sap that seems to ooze out of it day after day. It produces these prickly pine cones that will poke you and make you bleed. Their needles are just that...needles. This tree is intriguing and even though others want to get close everyone knows to be cautious because the pine tree will bite you when you least expect it.

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The evergreen trees are my favorite. No matter the season or the weather they are gorgeous. They are always green and full. They grow taller and taller each year with the anticipation of becoming a Christmas tree. They are able to stay beautiful for some time even after being cut away from their roots. The smell that they give off is better than the most beautiful perfume ever created. Evergreen trees are complete and whether you add a few lights and decoration to them or you just let them be plain there is never anything missing from them.

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But, have you ever stopped to notice that trees are like people? Some people are like weeping willows. They have alot of life's burdens on their shoulders and even though their branches are weak and heavy they still remain faithful and stand straight. But, although they are faithful and firm in their stand they remind everyone time and time again of each burden they are carrying on their shoulders. It is as if each problem, each heartache, each scar is in plain sight so that they can never forget (and most definitely not allow anyone else to forget) the struggles they have faced in their life.

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Others are like the dogwood tree. Their branches are either full of encouragement and wonder or they are bare and cold. You never quite know when they are going to burst forth with blooms or when they are going to be hollow and empty. You aren't too sure when you can depend on them on when you can't.

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There are some people who are like pine trees. They don't want anyone to be near them but they always want people talking about them. They like to be the center of attention but yet they will bite you if you even attempt to get too close.

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And then, you have the evergreen trees. To me the evergreen trees remind me of what Christians are to be like. Always green, always full, always willing to serve and always wanting to do more. Even after they are gone the memory of what they were lingers on for years. They are an example to everyone.

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"I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit." Leviticus 26:4 A little rain is going to fall in our lives. The real question is what type of fruit are our trees going to produce when that rain falls? Will our branches be hung low so that everyone can see the burdens we carry? Will we produce a beautiful flower that will only blow away and fade in time? Will we keep our outer skin sticky with sap so that anyone who touches us will be changed in the wrong way? Or, will the rain simply make us greener, stronger, more prepared to serve? What type of tree are you?

Our Future

Today I would like to divert your attention away from the work that is piled up on your desk, the bill that needs to be paid, the phone that is ringing beside you and take you back to when you were a kid. Back to a day where running on the playground was the best. Going back and forth across the monkey bars until you had blisters on the palms of your hands. Back to a day where it didn't matter what you looked like when you ran and nobody cared if your clothes matched or not.

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Now, jump ahead a few years to being a teenager. Remember how much fun school was? Remember hanging out in the halls with your heart pounding every single time that boy walked by? Laughing with your friends. Friday night football games. Passing notes during class. Hanging out in the parking lot after school listening to the radio and enjoying the sunshine.

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Oh how I miss those days! The freedom to just be me. Not a care in the world. No responsibility other than my grades and the few household chores my parents made me do. I laid on the couch and watched music videos every afternoon when I got home from school. I talked on the phone to all my friends and we plotted and planned what we would wear the next day.

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Over the past few months I have been listening to children and teenagers talk about their lives. I have not been listening on the fly by but actually sitting and listening to them. These kids today are living lives that you and I never dreamed of. They are seeing things, dealing with things, carrying burdens and stress that you and I cannot begin to fathom. I personally know of some teenagers who have seen things in their short span here on life that I, myself, at 35 years old have never witnessed. And, when these kids try to reach out and talk or get some help they are hit with responses from adults like "you think being a teenager is hard, wait until you're an adult" or "oh you're just being dramatic, move on, let it go." These kids are getting these responses because no one is listening to them! These kids have these burdens and this stress in their life because of adults who just don't care. Personally, I can't fathom putting my children through any heartache or heart break but when I look back on my past I have done just that and if you stop and think back I'm sure you would agree that you too have done the same thing.

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Our future is these kids. These teenagers are one day going to be the leaders of our churches, our schools, our courthouses, our businesses and here we are as adults not teaching them how to deal with the stresses of life and instead are adding stress to them. This world is nothing like it was when I was a teenager not too many years ago in the 90s and it certainly isn't like it used to be in the 50s, 60s and even 70s. This is a new generation, a new time.

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"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" Matthew 19:14. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe your arms were designed to specifically wrap around that child who skinned their knee. That teenager who walks with their head hung down. It doesn't matter that you aren't their parent. It doesn't matter that you don't have children yourself or that your children are long gone from the house. These kids just need someone to love them. Someone to give them a chance. Who cares that their music is too loud or that you don't understand the words? Who cares that their pants are half way down their rear ends? Does that make them unloveable? Does that mean you can't reach out to them? These kids are beat down, put down, thrown down and they just need to be loved! Jesus said let the children come to me but as adults and as Christians, what are we saying to them?

Make Up

I was sitting in the parking deck this morning applying my daily "war paint." I'm not real big on wearing make up. I wear a little base, some blush and mascara and occasionally I will put on eyeliner. I don't wear lipstick very often and eye shadow is most definitely rare. I have never been big on make up but that's just me I guess. I see women whose faces are just flawless and I think they look beautiful but I know if I walked around like that people would wonder what in the world I was up to.

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But, anyway, I was sitting there applying the little bit of make up that I wear on a daily basis when I got to thinking about what I was covering up. I have a few freckles that tend to annoy me so I try to apply make up in those areas. I have a scar above my lip that I try to mask a little bit too. As I applied the blush I carefully lined my high cheekbones and turned my head from side to side trying to make sure it was applied evenly. As I brushed the mascara over my long eyelashes I noticed that I was holding my mouth open and in the most contorted way at that which made me giggle at myself.

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As I finished applying the "war paint" I jumped out of the truck and all but ran into my office because I was running late, naturally. That seems to be my theme lately. A day late and a dollar short! Sorry, I guess I need to stay focused here, huh? (haha) As I'm speed walking into the building almost sprinting I'm on the phone with a friend of mine and I'm listening to her talk and I'm thinking about make up and then as I enter the door the reality that is my day hits me in the face.

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I began to think about all the things that I wished I could be doing today instead of being at work. I began to think about all the work that was sitting on my desk that needed to get done and probably should have been done weeks ago. My stomach started to hurt and I just wanted to turn around and walk back to my truck and go home. But, I pushed on through the anxiety and walked into my office. As I rounded up the stairwell I was thinking about my make up and "war paint" and masks when it hit me...God is my "war paint" and through his strength I will make it through this day. I had prayed on my way into work for his strength today more than most days because I did not sleep well last night and I know the only way I was going to make it is with God's strength. So, now I'm sitting here thinking and I find it amusing that I would think that I only need God's strength on days when I'm tired! Gracious am I convicted! I need God's strength EVERY DAY!

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"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground...Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..." Ephesians 6:11-18

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There is absolutely no way that neither I nor you can make it through each and every day on our own. It doesn't matter what sort of mask or "war paint" we put on. If we don't put on the full armour of God then we are doomed. Oh Lord forgive me for thinking I can do this on my own!

Claiming Your Ground

I was not even a flick of dust in my parents' eyes when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon. I was not a part of history that day. I don't know if the weather was sunny or raining. I can't tell you what the local newspaper reported. But, I do know that the footage of that day will forever be etched in mind just as if I had been sitting on my couch watching it as it happened.

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So many things about that famous video intrigue me. The way they bounce around and look as if they are going to shoot off of it at any moment. The way they look like aliens in their astronaut gear. How dark the background is. It is blacker than black. I don't even know if there is a word that can begin to describe that type of darkness.

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But, the one thing that really gets me every single time is when Neil Armstrong took that pole with our flag attached and stuck it down into the moon's surface. He was staking claim that the United States had been there. I can remember doing that as a child. Playing in the yard and taking a stick, driving it into the ground and telling my friends "Now, this is MY land from this stick to this stick" and almost daring them to cross it. Have you ever claimed your ground before?

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You know sometimes in our Christian lives we don't claim our ground. We listen to what other people say or think and we begin to ponder on their idea and before we know it we are unsure of where we stand on the issue. We must have roots, we must drive that pole into the ground and claim our ground. "...since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away." Matthew 13:21

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I'm not one that can walk around quoting scripture and many times when I hear a story from the Bible I think "I sure didn't know that" but when I get into a situation where someone is trying to question my beliefs, question my faith I just smile and shake my head. Why? Because I cannot be moved! I have staked my claim! I know way down into my knower what I believe and I believe it whole heartily and nothing and I mean nothing will ever change that. Have you claimed your ground?

Fortune Cookies

Back the first of March Kristina went to a theater workshop here in Birmingham called SETC. She had a grand time and enjoyed attending workshops and theater productions and hanging out with her friends. It was a long 3 or 4 days and by the weekend she was spent. She came home every day telling me stories of what she had learned or what play she had watched or something funny she and her friends had done during down time.

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On one day in particular everyone decided to walk "79 blocks" (according to Kristina) to a Chinese restaurant in downtown Birmingham. She sent me several text messages upon arrival trying to decide what to order. She finally settled on a shrimp and lobster meal and I never heard from her again.

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When I picked her up that night I asked her how she liked her lunch and my question sparked a funny memory of her day. She began to laugh so hard she could barely breathe. She was wheezing and shaking and holding her finger up in the air as if she was saying "just a minute." At the sight of her laughing I couldn't help but laugh. Here we were driving through the streets of Birmingham laughing hysterically and I didn't even know what we were laughing about.

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Finally, she sucked in a deep breath and said. "Momma, you know how I just love fortune cookies, right?" I shook my head agreeing as she continued. "Today, at the restaurant, we get our fortune cookies and everybody opens theirs and reads their fortune to themselves when all of a sudden Kelly jumped up which throws his chair back into the next table and screams 'I got jipped! My fortune says...'" And the laughter begins again. She can't even finish her sentence and here I am hanging on her every word. I begin to wonder what in the world his fortune had said and I start poking at Kristina while she is bent over nearly in the floorboard. "Tell me! What did it say?" She finally composed herself enough to finish. "Mom, seriously, no kidding, his fortune said I eat meat!"

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At this we both began to laugh so hard I could barely keep the truck on the road. We wheezed and snorted and shook our heads and I'm sure had the police pulled me over he would have given us a ticket for disorderly conduct because I would not have been able to keep myself composed. The more I laughed the more Kristina laughed and naturally the more she laughed the more I laughed. The next day my ribs were sore from laughing so hard.

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Have you ever gotten a funny fortune cookie like that? Or, what about advice that at the time seemed so stupid and unrealistic? I love the book of Proverbs. That book of "fortunes cookies" was written just for me I think. I flip through it time and time again and read and re-read the verses over and over. I like riddles and things that just stick in my mind. As I've said before...I learn things the hard way so if you give me something in riddle then it sticks with me forever because it's not simple or easy.

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So, today, I have cracked open a "fortune cookie" with hopes that it sticks with you and makes you think! It is entitled "Warning Against Rejecting Wisdom." There are days when advice may seem futile or ridiculous at the time, but the day will come when that advice will make perfect sense and we will hold it dear to our hearts because that advice will determine the choices that we make! "Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord, since they would not accept my advice and spurned my rebuke, they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes. For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm." Proverbs 1:29-33.

Broken Legs

You are driving down the highway, road, street or parking lot when you see it. The dreaded driver not paying attention to anything around them. They are driving as though they are the only people on Earth when it happens. They pull right out in front of you! And, to make matters worse...they hit their brakes! AAAggghhh!!!!! I'm sure that has never happened to you, right?

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I was driving to work this morning and not only did it happen to me once it happened to me three times! People were just shooting out of parking lots of convenience stores, fast food restaurants and the bank as if I wasn't even on the roadway. It was as if they were flooring the gas to get in front of me and then hitting their brakes which in turn made me have to hit my brakes and scream out in frustration!

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I wonder why people do this? I don't do it! What are they thinking? Are they paying attention? Do they have a lot on their minds? Are they trying to ruin my day? Do they want me to hit them so they can buy a new car with my insurance money? And, who are these people? If I don't do this where do the people live who do drive like this? Is there a special neighborhood for them? Do they have a club meeting once a week or something? What if these people get ahead of me in line for heaven? (gotcha on that one...haha)

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But, as usual, this got me thinking. What if I am so stubborn that I don't see things unless they are thrown in front of me to where I can't help but see them? Some people go through life and learn quickly and move on never to make the same mistake over and over and then there are those of us that go through life making the same mistakes time and time again without even realizing what we are doing. So, God finally puts an obstacle in our way to where we can't move ahead until we have learned our lesson!

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I struggle with bending my knee to God. It isn't that I don't pray and that I am not submissive but I have noticed that I don't bow down at the alter, I don't get on my knees when I pray. So, am I humbled before him? I am beginning to truly search my heart. What if God is having to break my legs to make me get on my knees? "Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before God...I have heard you, declares the Lord." 2 Chronicles 34:27 Do your knees bend voluntarily or does God have to break your legs?

Grow Where Your Planted

I sure love flowers. I love to look at them, smell them, touch them, and just generally enjoy the way I feel when I'm around flowers. I can remember being a little kid and wanting to be a florist. Little did I know that I am the serial killer of flowers and that career was not meant for me! I guess you could say that I love flowers to death because I kill them. I start out taking care of them and then before long I get tired of it and they die. We have bushes at our house not flowers because bushes tend to take my abuse alot better than delicate flowers.

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I have watched as friends planted their flower beds year after year. I sit on their steps and chit chat with them while they work and I am intrigued how much thought they put into placing the flowers. Each flower seems to be placed with such thought and attention to detail. They are grouped by color, type, size, shape and probably more than I can even think of. And when their flower beds are in full bloom they are just gorgeous. I love to pull up to their houses and see their works of art.

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But, have you ever noticed how flowers stay in their place? No matter what you do to them they don't take off and grow where they want to grow like ivy or the ever hated kudzu. A flower stays put right where it is planted. It doesn't veer off it's course. It doesn't even wrap around the flower next to it. It just stays right in place and grows.

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Too bad we don't do that as Christians! We tend to get off center. We tend to get wrapped up in unnecessary drama at church or in the community. We tend to veer off our course and before long you can't tell where we end and someone else begins. Each part of our body is there for a purpose and each Christian is a part of the body of Christ with a purpose. Our talents, our resources, just us being us is used to make the body of Christ run like a well oiled machine. "...we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." Ephesians 4:15-16 Maybe it is time to quit complaining about where we were planted and just start working on growing because after all we were planted in that particular place, that particular situation for a reason! God is the gardener, he knows exactly what he is wanting to see when his flower bed is in full bloom!

Walking

Have you ever watched people walk? I do all the time. I sort of walk with no purpose. I mean I have somewhere that I am going but I don't speed walk or rush by you. I just take my time and get where I'm going. I look down as I walk not because I'm self conscious but because I tend to trip over things so to avoid embarrassment I'm always looking down to make sure I see any obstacles on the path at my feet.

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I have a friend who wears me out when I go anywhere with her. She zooms through Wal-Mart like she is trying to win a game show. I'm all but running trying to keep up with her. If the aisle is crowded and she can't fit through, she spins on a dime it seems like, turns the corner and enters from the opposite end. I have such a headache when we finally get back in the car. She doesn't browse, she goes straight to what she needs and BAM out the door she goes. I bet there is a whirlwind of paper and debris left in her tracks when she leaves.

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I have another friend who walks around as if she is the only person on Earth. She meanders here and there never really knowing where she is going and if you cross into her path she doesn't side step, she doesn't try to avoid you, she just runs you over. And, after she runs you over she says "Did you see them?" Shopping with her makes you want to pull your hair out. She walks up and down each and every aisle looking at every single item. She picks everything up, smells it, flips it over and discusses it to only lay it back down and move on to the very next thing.

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Even though we all have our own unique way of walking that doesn't mean we are all walking on a different path it just means we are all walking at a different pace. 1 John 1:6-7 says "If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

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Maybe it is time that we learn from our friends and their walk. My friend who walks really fast and is a speed shopper, well she has taught me how to pay attention when it counts and remember. At any given moment I could draw you a layout of my local Wal-Mart store. In a time of need I can be in and out of that store within five minutes if necessary. My other friend who just sort of meanders around has taught me take a moment. Enjoy the day. Enjoy the shopping trip. It may be my last and who knows, I may find something I didn't even know I was looking for. Between the two of them I have learned to stop walking around looking down. I'm so worried about tripping over something on the ground that I often forget that I may just run into and through someone who is standing in my path. Maybe, just maybe if I would quit being so stubborn I would see that God is trying to teach me to stop walking for myself and walk with him, for him, to him!

Just Thinking

As I prayed this morning, I asked the Lord to give me a word. Something to cling to today and he brought me to Hebrews 9:27-28, "Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him."

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As I read this scripture my mind continues to focus on an Easter drama that our church is doing. My entire family is a part of this production and we have been having the best time rehearsing, chit-chatting with everyone and actually getting to know people that we haven't taken the time to talk with before.

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Kristina is playing the part of Salome, Herodias' daughter. Gabe is playing a young boy in the crowd, I'm behind the scenes and Shane is a solider. When Shane agreed to be a solider he thought he was simply going to be a solider who was just there. But, he has learned that he is one of the soldiers who beats Jesus. He crucifies him! Shane has really been struggling with this. He is so tired after rehearsal and says that it takes everything he has not to weep as he goes through his scenes over and over again. As I sit and watch each week I have chills that run up and down my body as I envision that day....the day Jesus died.

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Jesus literally died with the world on his shoulders! I think to myself how awful the beating must have felt and how the pain must have radiated through his entire body with every strike but when I think that he must have felt the pain for you, for me, for my children, for my husband, for my friends, for my co-workers it makes my stomach hurt because if he died for all of our sins then he felt the pain of all of our sins time after time, hit after hit.

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He hung there on that cross while people mocked him and he wept. In the midst of his tears he did not ask God why. In the midst of his tears he did not try to make excuses. In the midst of his tears he simply said "Father, forgive them!"

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I think of Mary as she watched her precious child on that cross. I think of how she must have wept and how her heart must have broken in a million pieces as she watched her son take his last breath. I can't begin to fathom how she even breathed herself. I can see her kneeling at the base of that cross, with her son's blood dripping on her, pleading, begging and crying for there to be another way knowing all the while there was no other path that could be taken.

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In the midst of Mary's heartache I think of the pride that she must have felt as Jesus' mother. Her son, how brave he was....how brave he is! I sit here today with tears in my eyes because I just can't fathom a love like Jesus' love! I ache knowing what he did for me and my lowly self. I am humbled at his grace, his mercy, and his love thinking the whole time that the word love doesn't even seem big enough to cover what his feelings are for me! I love my children and I would lay my life down for them in the blink of an eye but could I stand there and watch as my child laid his life down for you? That....makes me think! That....makes me want to be more like Mary, more like Jesus, more like my heavenly Father! What are your thoughts?

Discouraged

Do you ever get discouraged? Oh I do! Some days I walk around with my head all hung low like I just lost my best good friend. Some days I take the blows of life as though I'm in the tenth round of the match and I'm absolutely worn out. It is as if I have nothing left to give.

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And on those days I beg for a word. A good word. A firm word. A word that can get me through the next trial, the next tribulation. A word that can get me through the next punch. And that is where Psalm 115:4-9 comes in..."God is higher than anything and anyone, outshining everything you can see in the skies. Who can compare with God, our God, so majestically enthroned, surveying his magnificent heavens and earth? He picks up the poor from out of the dirt, rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash, seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best. He gives childless couples a family, gives them joy as the parents of children. Hallelujah!"

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Wow! I don't know about you but when I read that I all but wanted to jump out of my seat shouting! There are days, weeks, months and sometimes even years when you just need a break. You just need some sun to shine through the clouds and the rain to stop just a little bit. But through every misbehaved child, unpaid bill, leaky roof, broken down car, lost job, marital argument, infertility, overdrawn bank account, lost friendship, court fine, blown tire there is something more. God is higher than anything! For every punch that you feel hit your stomach just remember that the initial blow was softened for you. Jesus took the full brunt of the blow when he died on that cross!

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Life here on Earth isn't going to be easy and it surely isn't going to be easy as a Christian but the thing that we must all remember is that our inheritance is on the other side. We tell our children time and time again that they have to go through the tough times to be able to recognize the good times but as adults we often forget that. If we didn't go through the rain we surely couldn't enjoy the rainbows.

Ringtones

How many ringtones do you have on your cell phone? Me, I only have the ones that came with my phone. But, Kristina, she has tons and tons of them. She could honestly sit and listen to her ringtones for hours and never repeat them. I'm not sure what the fascination is with teenagers and ringtones. I guess it is just the generation they are living in.

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Aside from ringtones have you ever noticed how many ringing settings are on your phone? There is normal, vibrate, meeting, outdoor, ascending and many more I'm sure but I have no idea how to completely work my phone so those are the ones I see on a normal basis. I usually keep my phone on normal ring so that I can hear it ringing in my purse or pocket but when I'm at work I have to keep it on vibrate. It will vibrate only once. It is quiet. It doesn't disturb anyone and it is acceptable in the workplace.

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So, naturally, all of this ringtone - ringing volume has got me thinking. Am I a Christian with the million ringtones? Am I out there shouting from the rooftops for hours on end about the love of my Lord? Do I see someone hurting and immediately go to them and try to help them like Christ would do? Are the words that come out of my mouth daily only words that are pleasing to my Father? OR, am I a Christian who is set on vibrate? Do I make just enough noise for the person sitting next to me to know that I'm a Christian? Do I get real quiet and not stand up for my Lord with honor? In my every day walk through life am I different or do I just disapper in the crowd?

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"The ways of right-living people glow with light; the longer they live, the brighter they shine. But the road of wrongdoing gets darker and darker — travelers can't see a thing; they fall flat on their faces." Proverbs 4:18-19 (The Message). At this moment I wish more than anything in the world I had some fancy words or some awesome advice that you could take with you today in regards to this blog. But, in reality, I don't. I don't have any words to say because I myself struggle with this very same thing. Every day I struggle with not just being a light but being a bright light. Some days I have my ringer set loud and proud but then other days I am simply walking around with my ringer set on vibrate. I honestly believe the only way to find the solution to this problem is for each of us to go to the cross and from there our Father will set our ringtones accordingly.

Rainbows

You walk outside after a big rain storm, you breathe in a deep breath and smell the new clean air and as you look up you see the most beautiful site in the world! It is as if God took every color, placed them on his fingertips and simply waved it across the sky. There is no beginning and no end. Oh man alive do I love rainbows! Aren't they gorgeous?!?!

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I like the rainbows you see when looking at a prism or the splash in the midst of a mud puddle but the ones in the sky are my favorite. Not only are they gorgeous but they are also a reminder of God's promise. Not that I have to have a visible reminder of any of God's promises but personally, I think, if you are going to make a visible reminder of a promise, the rainbow was the way to go!

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But, you know, no matter how many tears I have cried I have never noticed a rainbow in those tears. I've been thinking about this alot lately and I have come to realize that the reason I don't see rainbows in my tears is because God has never promised me that I would never cry them. In Genesis 9:15 he says "Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life." I don't see anywhere in that promise that it says I will not suffer hard times, heart break, frustration, devastation, loneliness, sorrow, despair...none of that. I says that never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. See, even though tears fall they don't destroy us.

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God's promise regarding our tears comes in Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

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Now, when you see a rainbow painted on the beautiful canvas that is the sky you just remember God's promise and that even after all these years he still remembers that promise and stands by it. He hasn't forgotten or forsaken us. So, if he is going to put that rainbow in the sky time and time again then the day will come when he most certainly wipe away our tears and carry us to a place of no more death, no more mourning, crying or pain! So, when you are trying to choke back tears just let go and cry them anyway. God gave them to you for a reason! There is no limit on how many you can shed in a lifetime!

Tattle Tale

Kristina is about to run herself into a frenzy. She is running track and has practice three days a week. She is an assistant stage manager for her theatre department for the play Grease which is set to go on stage in May. She is in an Easter drama at our church and then she has her normal classes, homework, weekly Bible study and church. She runs, runs, runs. Every day all day. And, since she doesn't have a license I run, run, run with her.
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She is having to divide her time up each afternoon in between track and theatre rehearsal. For the most part her theatre teacher has been very understanding and has worked really hard with her on missing rehearsal. Her track coach is not as understanding and can sometimes cause a kink in her plan to do everything at one time.
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Monday afternoon she had just finished track practice when she walked over to a little convenience store that is right across the street from her school waiting on me to come pick her up. She had no more sat down with a cold drink and her friends when two girls from the theatre department came in. They questioned her about missing rehearsal and she simply replied "I will be there on Wednesday" and left it at that. Knowing that she didn't have to explain anything to them. After all, she had talked with the theatre teacher and everything was worked out.
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When she went into her theatre class yesterday her teacher called her into his office and gave her what for. He had been told by these girls that Kristina had skipped rehearsal to hang out at this convenience store with her friends. She tried to explain to him exactly what had happened and what she had done but he didn't want to hear any of it. Kristina said she simply shook her head, said "Yes sir" and went on about her business.

You know, sometimes you walk up on a situation and only hear or see the end and automatically think you know exactly what has happened and you form your own opinion and that is the story that you tell. Sometimes others tell that same twisted story about us. I am notorious for basing an opinion on something I know nothing about and many, many times I have been in hot water because someone else formed an opinion based on what they didn't know.
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I once heard Beth Moore talk about tattling to Jesus. How ridiculous I thought. But, you know, he tells us to do that in 1 Peter 5:7. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." You know so many times I want to go to Shane or someone else and just fuss about what this person or that person said or did to me which gives me no result in the end except bitterness. But, when I have dropped to my knees and just tattled to the Lord and told him how my feelings were hurt (he already knows) and how I feel (he already knows) and then all of a sudden he takes my heart and turns it upside down and empties out all that bitterness and I move on. The next time I see that person I don't think twice about how they hurt my feelings. That pain is gone....Jesus took it! We need to run to him with not only the big, heavy burdens but also the small, tiny flecks that cloud our vision and our heart. Those big, heavy burdens aren't what makes us bitter. Trust me! Those go away in time but those small, tiny flecks tend to stack up on our shoulders and before long we have the infamous "chip on our shoulder." They will fill our hearts, cloud our eyes and before you know it we become bitter, resentful and miserable. Cast all your cares upon the Lord....he cares for you!

Only One

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room? I have. I have often made the statement that sometimes I feel as though I am standing in a crowded room screaming and no one hears me. They pass me by as if I'm not even there. Some look but when they look it as if they are looking through me not at me. Others point but I really don't think they are pointing at me and just simply pointing towards my direction.
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Loneliness is an awful feeling. Not only do you feel alone but you can feel betrayed and somewhat extinct. Sometimes I think we are lonely by our own doings. We push others away just because it is easier for us to not deal with the situation than just face it head on. I should know because that is usually my course of action. I have it down to a science almost. Some people have learned to over look it and no matter what I say or what I do they refuse to leave. And, those precious people end up staying a part of my life forever. Others, they come and go, wandering in and out never really understanding the craziness that is me. But, I guess we're all like that in one way or another.
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But, you know, there are times that I think being the only voice, the only one is okay. Sometimes that one voice, that one person, that one idea changes the world around us. What would life be like if Bill Gates had not taken his one idea and done something with it? You wouldn't be reading this blog today that is for sure! What if Benjamin Franklin had not flown that kite in the storm with a key attached to it? You most certainly wouldn't be reading this blog today! Imagine how many people made fun of them. I'm sure they were mocked, ridiculed and even had some people walk right out of their lives because they were considered crazy, nuts, off their rocker. But, look where their idea, their vision brought you and me. Right here, right now.

You know John was the only voice one time. He came to witness and tell of Jesus but people weren't too sure what to do with him. They really couldn't figure him out. They asked him "Who are you?" and he replied "I am the voice of the one calling in the desert..." John 1:23. He tried everything he could think of to explain Jesus to them but it seemed like no one could really wrap their head around it. And, just because those people couldn't understand it didn't make it untrue. Jesus is real, he is alive!
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Things aren't much different today are they? People can't seem to wrap their heads around the idea of Christ. They feel like he needs to be explained and understood and they just don't believe the simplicity that is Jesus. He came to this earth with the sole purpose of dying on that cross to save us from our sins. In the process he healed the sick, taught to the thousands and laid out a path for each of us to take. He became one of us so that we would believe and do we? Do we doubt him? Because don't forget "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1 When you are the only voice in the desert just remember when you feel as though you are shouting and no one is listening, keep shouting because in the beginning was the Word and in the end will be the Word. He is the first and the last, the Alpha and the Omega!

Boundaries

When Gabe and Kristina were alot smaller and wanted to play outside I would always say "Don't go past that tree and don't even think about going past that bush." I always gave them boundaries because at the time we didn't have a fenced in yard. Now, that they are older, Kristina wouldn't even think about going outside and Gabe is old enough to look for cars and pay attention (for the most part). But, I still give boundaries. I have to. I'm a Mom. When Kristina gets in the car with a friend I want to know where they are going, what route they plan to take and give an exact time to be back. "Don't even think of leaving Dora/Sumiton!" They roll their eyes thinking "Yeah, yeah, yeah" but knowing all the while that if their rear ends even consider leaving the city limits of our litte bitty town I would seriously cause some damage. Kristina's favorite threat is when I say "Little girl, I will pull the blonde right out of your hair if you..." When Gabe goes to spend the night at a buddy's house I go through the same routine with him "Don't even consider sneaking out of that house at night and going trasping through the woods. Your rear end better stay planted IN their house, not on the porch, not on the deck nor in the front or back yard when it is bed time." Why do I give Gabe these boundaries you ask, he has tried it before!

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I have a pretty railing that runs around my front porch. It is white with spindles. It protects you from falling off the porch into a rose bush, a holly bush and gardina bush here and there. My side porch has a railing as well to keep you from walking straight off of it onto the concrete. Good thing those railings are there because so many times I have not been paying attention and been clumsy and had to catch myself. Let me tell you, when all of this fat gets to going in one direction there is no stopping it! I'm just along for the ride!! (heehee)

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The police have boundaries on how far they can travel down a road and still be in their jurisdiction. Shane works on an assembly line and he tells me that he has a line that is painted on the floor and if he isn't finished assembling his part by the time the vehicle reaches that line then the entire line just stops because he crossed his boundary. Boundaries everywhere. That is how God intended it.

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"This will be your land, with its boundaries on every side." Numbers 34:12. Here the Israelites were entering the promised land and God was giving them boundaries. Why? For their own good! Just as parents set boundaries for our children; God sets boundaries for his children as well. He knew well before you and I were ever born that there would be things in this world that we, as his children, didn't need to be a part of and therefore he said "Don't go past this line!" He told Adam and Eve not to eat from that one tree but they did and sin entered the world. He gave them a boundary, they broke it and they paid the price for it. Just as our children pay the price when they break our boundaries we must pay the price for breaking the boundaries that God has laid out for us.

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Many of us struggle with worldly things. We see people taking part in something that seems so fun and we want to be a part of it too but in our spirit we just know that something isn't right about that. That tug you feel in your spirit is God saying "Hey, don't go past this bush! Stay within that tree line!" Listen to your Father! After all, don't we know that Father knows best!

Your Voice

Phew...this week has been crazy! Kristina is heavily involved in theatre at school and this week she has been attending SETC (Southeastern Theatre Conference). She has attended tons and tons of workshops and learned how to interact on stage only using body language, how to project her voice when no microphones are available and so many others that I can't even begin to remember. In my mind they are all jumbled up and I can't even begin to fathom how she remembers it all.

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However, there was one workshop that she attended that has stuck in my mind. As she explained this workshop to me she kept getting louder and louder with excitement. Just watching her explain this workshop was nothing more than amusement for me. "This workshop was designed just for me" she explained. For some time her theatre teacher has been giving her the same criticism over and over "Kristina, you need to find your voice." He has drilled this into her head and she has been at a loss because she had no understanding of what he meant or how to find it. She has asked for guidance and he always says "If I tell you how to find it then you won't keep it but if you find it then you'll never lose it again."

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So, what do you know, she found a workshop on "finding your voice." She began to explain to me there were approximately 20 people in this workshop ranging from high school students, college students and even a few directors. As she entered the room the workshop leader began to hand out character descriptions to everyone. She gave specific instructions on how each actor must read the description and decide for themselves how this character would sound and they must remain that character until further notice. Kristina read her description and was surprised to realize that her character was a man! She said she was sitting there trying to decide how he would sound and how his body language would be when the workshop teacher told everyone to get up and socialize throughout the room and reminded them that they must stay in character. She giggled as she described how she introduced herself using the deepest voice imaginable and how she tried to carry herself like a man and say things she believed this man would say. "It was great, Mom" she said "I loved every minute of it!"

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Having a voice in the real world is just as hard. In the work place, at the ball park, at the grocery store, and even sometimes in your Sunday School class can all be places that you feel you can't share your voice. You worry what others will think of you. Or, you think "I don't know the Bible well enough to even begin to discuss it." I often times feel like if I truly showed my voice then others would look at me like I was obnoxious and a nuisance. In the days that we live we have to be able to communite with our voice and not allow the voice of others to dictate us. "...you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires...make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation..." 2 Peter 3:3 & 14-15.

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You know, maybe you and I need to attend a "find your voice" workshop! Have you ever thought about the fact that Jesus holds one every single day!! He is just standing at the front of the class holding a piece of paper with a description of man. A man that is kind, loving, forgiving, holy and the only instructions he gives us is to make sure we portray him! When we introduce ourselves to others, when we interact with our co-workers, when we root our children on at the ballpark we need to always remember to stay in character! Make sure our voice is nothing more than the voice of Jesus!

In The End

Ever had one of those days, weeks, months or years where you think "If one more thing happens I am going to become a televised episode of Snapped, a 48 Hours special or maybe even a made for tv movie"? Oh I have. In between work, kids, husbands, household responsibilities, the community, teenagers, parents, school work, blah blah blah.....you know the routine. It gets to be a bit overwhelming doesn't it?

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Me, I can usually handle the normal daily drama but there are times when a kink gets thrown into the mix and I almost have a come apart. Right now my family is facing an issue that has my blood boiling. I shared with my church family the situation and I couldn't help myself and said "I'm one mad momma!" Everyone snickered but every Momma in that room understood what I was saying. At that statement my pastor, God love him, stopped the prayer service and prayed the sweetest prayer for my family and then he prayed for me! He said "Lori, I think we all need to stop for a moment and pray for you to be able to handle this situation!" (heehee)

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But, you know there are just times that you just don't think you can take any more. I prayed this morning for God to give me a word today. Something to cling to, to hold on to all day long. When I sat down at my desk I found 1 Peter 1:3-6..."Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials."

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Wow! Ask and ye shall receive! I tell you what....God answered my immediate request didn't he? We are going go through trials and we are going to suffer. But, by faith we are sheilded by God's power. Did you hear me? BY FAITH! You know we don't have to explain faith to a child. They just accept it. Children faithfully believe that we will take care of them and protect them. It doesn't have to be explained to them and they aren't shown how to do it, they just know. When did we, as adults, lose that ability? What day did we wake up and say "Faith, what's that?" Oh how I struggle with faith. How I struggle with earthly battles. But, there will be a day, a time when all those struggles and trials will be over. I will receive my inheritence that has never perished or spoiled and was perfectly preserved for me in heaven!

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Do you have that faith? That peace of mind? Do you have that inheritence waiting for you? If not, why not? The Savior is waiting just for you....this struggle that you are going through has been filtered through God's hands. He doesn't condone it but he will faithfully protect you! Don't give up! Don't stop fighting! Instead of trying to push through that wall, allow Jesus to carry you over it!

A Woman, A Wife

I have been married my WHOLE life! I married Shane at 18 years old and next month we will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. I have married many years longer than alot of the women I work with. Marriage has been, well, hard. I find it interesting that the definition of marriage is "the state of being united" and the definition of united is "made one."

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I don't know about you but I get real disgusted with myself sometimes and I get even more disgusted with Shane. We are most definitely "made one." After being with this man since I was 16 years old and then being married to him for nearly 17 years I feel quite comfortable telling him when I think he is wrong, when he has made me mad or just have a general conversation of my thoughts and feelings with him. I don't hold anything back with him and that filter in my mind that says "don't say that" is turned off when I'm around him. Good or bad that is how it is and for some people that might not work but for us it seems to. Well, it might not work but I think he and I are made of silly puddy because we just tend to let it roll off our backs and move on. Because, at the end of it all, we both know that the other one is in this marriage for the right reasons and words are just that, words.

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So, with that being said, how many of you can relate to whiskers in the bathroom sink? Underwear left laying on the floor right where they dropped it? Mud on the carpet at the front door where they stopped to take their shoes off so they wouldn't track mud through the whole house but it never crossed their minds to come in through the kitchen door where there is vinyl flooring? Or, I'm sure none of you can relate to the sound of "Baby, I forgot to get a towel before I got in the shower!" I have said many, many, many times to Shane, "You are 36 years old. You have been taking baths by yourself for the better part of 30 years now and you still forget that you need a towel?!?!?!?!" At this he simply rolls his eyes and grins. He does it out of meanness not forgetfulness. Some days I think he leaves the underwear in the floor, the mud tracked in the carpet and the whiskers in the sink just to hear me fuss. That way he always knows where I am! (heehee)

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My Momma use to always say that pretty is as pretty does. It has taken me years to understand that but she was so right. My Mother has always been a little short thing. She has never been one to wear expensive clothes or worry about what was in style. She takes pride in her looks but she never obsesses over it. She isn't the grandmother that walks around looking as though she has been preserved for future generations. She is simply NaNa. She is the most beautiful wife and mother that I could ever imagine. She is a God fearing woman, a holy woman. Her inner disposition is exactly what is described in 1 Peter 3:1-4. "...Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition."

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Oh how I need this word today! Indifferent as husbands are we are to be holy women! Yes, it is nice to make sure our hair is in place, our eyebrows are plucked to perfection and our nails are nothing more than fabulous but, are we holy? I sit here today so convicted because I spend many days, and I mean many days, frustrated with myself as a woman. My hair isn't as luxurious as I wish it were. I'm a little (well alot) on the robust side. I am never neatly put together like some women are. But right here in 1 Peter is tells me, not reminds me, tells me that my outer appearance does not matter but my inner disposition...my heart, my holiness is what matters. It matters to my husband. It matters to my children. And, it matters to others around me. But, most of all, it matters to God! Being a woman does not consist of our outer beauty, being a woman is more than that. It is about being holy!

FAQ

Have you ever actually looked at the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) section of a website? I love to snoop around in this particular section because it absolutely cracks me up. These companies try to be so generic with your potential question that the answer is still unclear. Oh, and when you call and speak to a representative they always say "Did you review our FAQ section?" Makes you want to say "Have you reviewed your FAQ section because it is lacking just a tad!"

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Recently Shane and I had our modem replaced and the technician failed to give us the security code. We spent days trying to figure out this code. I called several times but each time the wait was almost 20 minutes or more due to "high call volume" so I would simply hang up. Now, let me just step on my soap box for just a moment because if your company is constantly experiencing high call volumes then you may want to reassess your product! But, anyway, Shane was finally fed up with the internet issue we were having and he called our internet provider and was on hold for approximately 45 minutes. When the customer service technician finally got to his call and Shane explained our problem the technician said "Sir, the code is printed on the back of your modem." Well, I'll be! Who would have thought of that! Now, why wasn't that simple answer listed in their FAQ section? Maybe if it was they wouldn't have such a high call volume all the time!

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I like it when I have a question and I get my answer immediately. There is no beating around the bush. There is no hold on. It is simply asked and answered. Just like that. Sometimes when I read the Bible I don't get a clear answer. I get all jumbled up and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I have to read and re-read and re-read sometimes to get a word. But, there are times that I have a question, I begin to search and BAM there it is!

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As a parent I am constantly faced with the question from my children "How am I supposed to be like that when everybody else isn't?" or "Why can't I do that when everybody else is?" The standard motherly reply of "If everyone else jumped off a bridge...." or "Because I said so" is usually what spills from my lips. I always gasp for breath when I say those things because I sound just like my mother and you know I vowed to NEVER sound like my mother!

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But, I have found the answer to this question and I didn't have to hunt for it. I didn't have to stay on hold for 45 minutes. I asked and he answered. "How can a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of your Word." Psalm 119:9 (The Message). So many times I personally stumble around trying to make the right decision to only find myself making the wrong one. I ask for suggestions and for help but I rarely take it because after all, I know everything....right? Wrong! The older I get the more I realize how little I actually know! God's word is not just a book that should sit on my kitchen table. God's word is my map, my guide, my FAQ! And, if I get a little confused and don't understand what I'm looking at...that's where customer service comes in handy and with God as your customer service representative...you're never left on hold!

Are You Beating Your Head Against A Wall?

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

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Let me just stop you right there. Go back and re-read what that said. It says children are a gift of the Lord. It doesn't say teenagers are a gift of the Lord! (heehee)

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The older my children get they seem to be dragging me along behind them. They were once so cute and loveable and adorable and every single precious word I can think of. Now, most days they are rude, obnoxious, know just how to push my buttons and there are days I feel as though I'm beating my head against a wall. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love my children with every ounce of love that I have in my body. I would walk through fire so my children wouldn't hurt. I would stand on a wall as a guard if necessary to protect my children. But, there are those days that I just lay my head on the pillow at night and breathe in really deep and think to myself "another day has passed." Is it just me? Am I the only one who feels like that? Somehow I seriously doubt that I am.

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As I have been beating my head against a wall repeatedly lately I have begun to realize that it isn't just my children that make me want to scream. My husband, my dog, my job, just everything. I have days where I have beat my head so hard I have a complete and total headache.

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But, I have had an epiphany, a revelation, a moment I guess you could say. I have finally realized after many, many days of wanting to reach out and touch someone (literally) that I am wasting my time beating my head against an old wall. Instead, I should simply kneel down and beat my head against the cross. "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34. Just because life throws you curves and twists and turns doesn't mean you are losing the battle. All that means is life is throwing you curves and twists and turns. Children, husbands, beloved animals, co-workers, parents are all a gift from God. They were perfectly placed in our lives to make us be all that we can be. Maybe they teach us patience. Maybe they teach us kindness. Maybe they teach us when to keep our mouths shuts. Maybe they teach us when to speak up. Maybe they teach us how to love. Maybe they teach us how to argue without being hurtful. Maybe they teach us how to keep our focus.

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God knew what we would need in our lives before we took our first breath. He knew how hard we could be pushed. He knew what type of heartaches we could withstand because "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." Jeremiah 1:4. Always remember that a "heartache" is nothing more than a "hard ache." It isn't going to be easy or smooth but if we simply stop beating our heads against an empty wall and begin to beat it on the cross Jesus will take that "hard ache" and he will soften it, turn it and make it new. Just as people are placed in our lives for a particular reason...we are placed in someone else's life for a particular reason. So, in order for him to turn someone else's heart he often times has to turn ours first.