Different

Ever noticed how different everyone is? I do...constantly! It may be because I constantly feel like I don't belong in this place, here with everyone else. I don't make alot of sense to myself or to others. I don't see things the way that everyone else sees them. I often feel as though I'm "tainted" for lack of a better word. I most definitely don't have the Midas touch. Nothing turns to gold but yet always turns to dust with each and every touch.

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My sweet precious daughter also has this unusual way of seeing the world. The older she gets the more I realize she is just like me. The older I get the more I realize I'm like my Mom. And, sometimes I wonder if the older my Mom gets the more she realizes how much she is like her Mom. Our minds are wired differently. We see both sides to every single issue. We struggle with the truth and knowing what we know. We question each and every turn of our lives, our families lives. We don't make friends easily and when we get burned we remember that sting forever. We go through life learning things the hard way yet always remembering.

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This week has been sort of a tough week. No different than anyone else's week but just a little more mentally/emotionally draining on our side of the world. As I sat down at my desk today I was flipping through my Bible and I came across Job 39. As I read on through the chapter I was stunned by verses 13-18, "The ostrich flaps her wings futilely — all those beautiful feathers, but useless! She lays her eggs on the hard ground, leaves them there in the dirt, exposed to the weather, Not caring that they might get stepped on and cracked or trampled by some wild animal. She's negligent with her young, as if they weren't even hers. She cares nothing about anything. She wasn't created very smart, that's for sure, wasn't given her share of good sense. But when she runs, oh, how she runs, laughing, leaving horse and rider in the dust." (MSG).

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Maybe I'm the ostrich who doesn't understand why she even has wings if I can't fly. Maybe I'm the Mom who leaves her eggs laying on the ground living in faith that the elements of the world will not devour them knowing all the while they will somehow survive because they are in my Father's hands. Maybe when I run I run like a child who laughs and enjoys the smallest things in life and when I do run, I run so fast I can outrun a horse! However, I believe most everyone, anyone, could identify with these verses. Somehow each and every one of us knows what it is like to be an ostrich. Some days I think we all walk around with our feathers poked out acting as if we were a peacock but in the end, we are just an ostrich. And, the thing is, there is nothing wrong with being an ostrich. After all, God created us to be an ostrich, he created us with a purpose, he created us to be different. Why? I don't know...maybe so we can outrun the horses!