Email...

These past few days, even weeks have been sort of weird for me. I have been in what I call a "fog." I can't seem to pray, breathe, I'm frustrated, agitated, ornery, just a mean ole woman I guess. I can't concentrate, my mind is constantly racing, I can't sleep, I wake up tired and ill and then yesterday happened.

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My sister and I email a good bit. She lives 2 1/2 hours away and email is alot cheaper than long distance phone call charges and with both of us having kids (I have two and she has FOUR!) who has time to talk on the phone anyway?!?! Well, anyway, she and I share alot of frustrations, problems, heartaches, you know...just sister stuff and yesterday was no different. I went to my big sister with a problem and she delivered just as big sisters always do.

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Below is our email conversation (hopefully she won't kill me for posting this) but, I just feel like there is no way that I can rearrange her words..they were "spoken" perfectly. Today, I'm refreshed, renewed, raring to go! Let's just say the line has been drawn and it is ON. Do you hear me? I said IT IS ON GIRLFRIEND! Satan just needs to take a step back because this ole ornery bird has drawn a line in the sand...IT IS ON!! =)

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ME: You know Lisa I mess up every day, most days, all the time but I try...goodness gracious I try. I was just talking to Daddy on the phone and I told him that in no way am I trying to be the leader of our house but Shane is just so hateful and mean sometimes and he just allows the devil to make him sees things that just aren't there and it is my job as Gabe and Kristina's mom to stand up for them....and that means even to their Daddy if necessary. I would love nothing more than to live in a home where me and my husband agreed on punishment, rules, etc. but I don't. God made me so tough and ornery because he knew I'd need it being married to Shane...heehee Shane loves me and he loves our kids and he is a good provider but he is just a piece of work sometimes. Gabe made the statement to me the other day "I sure wish the man who lived in our house was the same man that went to church with us!" I thought "too bad you didn't say that to your dad!!" God is good to us and he gives me the strength I need...I've just been forgetting to ask for it!

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LISA: I know what you mean. Home Life this month is dedicated to men. Do you get it??? As I was reading your email there are a couple of articles that come to mind that would be good for Shane. I think men think it is not macho to be spiritual. Does that make sense?? But there were some articles about men who grew up in church, strayed, became broken and now are crusaders for Christ. I am by no means a memory verse person but in the class of the Power of a Praying Parent it emphasizes praying scriptures over our children. Maybe we need to start praying scriptures over our husbands and they will be answered. We are an instant society and I want it now. (It’s my money and I want it now! JG Wentworth!) Bah! Ha! Ha! Anyway, I think our generation grew up in church but once we grew up we didn’t take it with us. Maybe it is going to start with our generation again to begin a revival to raise our children in His house. But, you know Satan might be using Shane to keep you away from the intimacy you have with God. In Priscilla’s book on pg 168 she writes, “I am certain that Satan wants us to miss the importance of intimacy with the Lord. He wants us to be so busy trying to impress God that we miss out on the closeness He desires. The Enemy does this because he knows that an intimate relationship with God is where we experience His presence and power.” I am not saying you trying to impress God but Satan will use things that distract you and keep you busy so you lose that intimacy with God. On page 76, she writes, “Listen, my friend, the only reason you’re still in captivity is because the Enemy is intimidated. …. He knows that if you ever break free from whatever is keeping you captive, you’ll worship God with wholehearted devotion and begin to hear His voice. And when a woman hears God’s voice and obeys Him, she’s powerful.” Is Satan using Shane’s harshness to distract you and keep you from the intimacy??? Just a thought! Is he using Shane to deflate your spirit? Just a thought! Why??? Just like Priscilla says, because a woman is POWERFUL when she being to hear God’s voice and obeys Him. And you are powerful right now in your messages on your blog. Let’s also be praying for our husband but also start rebuking the authority Satan is trying to inflect through his distractions in others. Sunday School is now over. LOL! Love ya!

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ME: Phew...wow! You go girl!!!! Girl you got me all fired up! Lately I have felt like a fog was over me like I couldn't pray...find it hard to pray. My mind wanders everywhere and I can't focus. I was listening to that cd yesterday and my mind was all over the place and then the man said "If you could ever get your head wrapped around the grace of God you would be free" and I sat there thinking "what?!?!?!" Some days I feel like I am right there on verge of being free but then I'm held back at the same time...like the wind is sucked out of me or something. I know I'm being dramatic but I don't really know any other way to put it. Wow....I get it! Oooooo Satan better hang on to his boots because it is on girlfriend...IT IS ON!!!!

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LISA: I know what you mean. I think when you start the Beth Moore book on “Breaking Free” this will answer some of the questions you have. She will lay out the things that hold us women captive and in bondage. Why?? Because we are women who speak over 25,000 words a day. This does not count the words that we think. There Beth’s book and then Priscilla’s book, I have learned that Satan’s number 1 goal is to keep us in captivity. He will use every means or person necessary to do it so that you lose that power that God has given you. Hang on girl….You are a fighter so I know you can TAKE HIM DOWN! LOL!!

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Ladies...need I say more? I told you she put it way better than I could. Ya'll have a good Friday! Enjoy your weekend and if you have something in your life that is frustrating you...draw a line in the sand, get in your best football stance and girlfriend you go because the fight is ON!