The moment the doctor said "It's positive" my heart began to beat faster than she could count my pulse. Every emotion, every thought, every fear came rushing over me. It was the day before my 18th birthday and I just learned that I was pregnant. Scared and in somewhat of a fog I drove to Shane's house and standing right there on his concrete front porch I gave him the news. We had been dating for about a year and a half and even though we were both in denial we both knew deep down that I was pregnant. My visit to the doctor was just confirmation. I told my parents on my 18th birthday (yeah, that's a birthday for the history books) and within a few weeks Shane and I were married and set to live a crazy, unusual life.
Sixteen years ago today it was Thanksgiving Day. I don't remember much about that day other than waddling around talking to belly saying "You were supposed to be born 3 days ago!" She finally made her glorious arrival 3 days later on November 29th. I can remember sitting in the hospital room while Shane slept holding her and thinking "Okay, kid, its me and you. I have no clue what I'm doing here and you're gonna have to help me out!" She looked up at me as if she knew what I was thinking.
The first night at home was a nightmare. She cried, I cried, she screamed then, well, I screamed! My Mom and Dad stayed in their room while I did it on my own. I'm sure there were so many times my Momma wanted to come out there and say "For the love, Lori, give me the child and let me do it!" But, she never did. My Momma always let me figure things out on my own. She always let me make mistakes, try it my way and never gave me her opinion unless I asked. She is still like that and I try and try and try to mirror myself after her. I fail, but I do try. After 3 or 4 hours of continuous feeding, diaper changing and tears I was at my wits end because Kristina was still crying. I held her in my arms with her head in my hands. I looked directly into her eyes and I said "I don't know what's wrong with you! Tell me!" Without batting an eye, she turned her head to the side and began to projectile vomit! I mean it went EVERYWHERE!! I had no clue how one little bitty baby could produce that much vomit. I'm not sure what made my Mom finally come out of her room but as she helped me clean it all up (see, that's my Mom, she is always there to help clean the mess) I began telling her what had happened. She looked up at me in the dimly lit living room and said "Precious, did you not burp her?" Burp her?!?!? Oh yeah, oops I forgot that part!
From that moment on I knew that me and Kristina were going to be just fine. I have made tons of mistakes over the past 16 years. I have made bad choices as her mother. I have given her bad advice, tried to control her, snooped when I shouldn't have and busted her when I needed to. The love that I have for my children is a love that is never failing. A love that never ends because it didn't grow a little bit over time, it was instantaneous. Even though I was scared to death the moment the doctor confirmed I was pregnant, in some weird way, I immediately loved her without knowing her. The day I took a home pregnancy test with Gabe and confirmed what I already knew, I immediately loved him. No matter what choices my children will ever make in their lives, I will love them unconditionally. No matter how many times I help them fix a problem, no matter who they date, who they marry, where they live, what job they choose I will love them.
In 1 Chronicles 16:34 he says "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." If we love our children as much as we do, can you only begin to imagine how much he loves us? I love the song Old Rugged Cross. O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world, has a wondrous attraction for me; for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above to bear it to dark Calvary. He loved us so much that he gave his son on Calvary for you, for me, for all. That is love that I cannot even begin to comprehend. So, tomorrow, as you are hugging your family, watching the parades, stuffing your bellies, be thankful for the little things. Be thankful for the things you so many times over look. Remember to love and remember to be thankful for love.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
By Your Side
I was at work several years ago when the phone rang. "This is Lori" I said. I heard a sweet soft voice on the other end of the line, "Ummm...Mrs. Goodwin, ummmm, we need you to come to the school. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but...." At this point, my heart isn't beating at all. I can't breathe, my stomach has completely fallen to my feet and I can't even muster a single peep. The sweet lady continued, "Gabe, well, he, ummm, has a marble stuck in his nose!!" I sat there for a minute and I said "What?!?!?!?!?" I wanted to laugh but her voice sounded like this was a serious situation and I didn't want to seem like a bad mother but my mind began to race. A marble?!?!?!? "I'm on my way" I said. I went into my boss' office, slowly opened the door and trying to not laugh I said, "I need to go. The school just called and Gabe needs to go to the doctor." Yeah, that was a safe comment. How do you go about telling your boss that your child has shoved a marble up his nose? I'm still in awe of how my child (who was 5 at the time) was able to shove a marble (those things are pretty big) up his little, tiny nose!
I walked to the car almost shaking my head in disbelief and as I pulled out of the parking deck I called the pediatrician's office. I went through the spill with the emergency nurse (yes, to me, this was an emergency) and she said "Just bring him in." I wanted to say "Really, you think I should bring him in?!?!?" I just love the way doctors/nurses talk to you sometimes. Like what else was I going to do with him? Keep it shoved up there???
I pulled into the school probably on two wheels. Walked into the school office and there my precious baby sat. His eyes were red from crying and Kristina, in all her wonder, was standing beside him, hip on her hand. She was in the 4th grade and totally humilated at her brother. Gabe looked up at me and he said, "Mommy, I just wanted to know if it would fit." He burst into tears and just collapsed into my arms. Ms. Know It All (yes, you guessed it, Kristina) said "Gabe SHOVED a marble UP HIS NOSE MOM!!!" I looked at the school secretary who was doing absolutely everything she could to keep the situation calm and said "How did he fit a marble up his nose?" "Lori" she said "I found out it is a necklace bead, not a marble that you play with." Well, a little bit of relief washed over me. I finished up the normal check-out procedure and out the door we went.
When we got to the doctor's office they rushed us in pretty quickly to a room. A nurse looked up his nose, "Yep, there's a bead in there" she said and before long the doctor came in. He looked and muttered and looked some more and he said "Ma'am, I'm going to have to stick this tool up his nose to get the bead because he has it pushed nearly to his eye!" "WHAT?!?!" I said. "Well, it is either this or surgery so it's your choice." "No, no, this is fine, let's try this first." So, the doctor left the room to get his tools and I began to reason with Gabe. I was trying to explain to him what the doctor was fixing to do and how he needed to be real still and that baby looked at me with total fear in his eyes and he said "Mommy, I can be still and do right if you'll just hold me!"
Those precious words have been a secret between me and Gabe even up unto this day. When the world is starting to wear Gabe down he'll come and whisper something similar to those words to me, climb in my lap (even at 12 years old) and hold on for a few minutes and then, in a flash, he's gone again. It's like he just needs that reassurance that Mom is still holding him.
As children of God we often need that reassurance that he is holding us. In Matthew 28:20 he reassures us by saying "...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Just as children need to feel our arms wrapped around them we need to fill God's love wrap around us. Sometimes I believe he wraps love around us through the arms of a child, a stranger, a sister or maybe our husbands. Or, sometimes, I think he wraps us in love with the wind from the ocean, the sand that surrounds us when we lay on the beach, the leaves from our trees that we rake up and then fall into, or maybe, it's that cup of coffee that warms us to the core. Always know that you are not alone and his hands are always holding you.
I walked to the car almost shaking my head in disbelief and as I pulled out of the parking deck I called the pediatrician's office. I went through the spill with the emergency nurse (yes, to me, this was an emergency) and she said "Just bring him in." I wanted to say "Really, you think I should bring him in?!?!?" I just love the way doctors/nurses talk to you sometimes. Like what else was I going to do with him? Keep it shoved up there???
I pulled into the school probably on two wheels. Walked into the school office and there my precious baby sat. His eyes were red from crying and Kristina, in all her wonder, was standing beside him, hip on her hand. She was in the 4th grade and totally humilated at her brother. Gabe looked up at me and he said, "Mommy, I just wanted to know if it would fit." He burst into tears and just collapsed into my arms. Ms. Know It All (yes, you guessed it, Kristina) said "Gabe SHOVED a marble UP HIS NOSE MOM!!!" I looked at the school secretary who was doing absolutely everything she could to keep the situation calm and said "How did he fit a marble up his nose?" "Lori" she said "I found out it is a necklace bead, not a marble that you play with." Well, a little bit of relief washed over me. I finished up the normal check-out procedure and out the door we went.
When we got to the doctor's office they rushed us in pretty quickly to a room. A nurse looked up his nose, "Yep, there's a bead in there" she said and before long the doctor came in. He looked and muttered and looked some more and he said "Ma'am, I'm going to have to stick this tool up his nose to get the bead because he has it pushed nearly to his eye!" "WHAT?!?!" I said. "Well, it is either this or surgery so it's your choice." "No, no, this is fine, let's try this first." So, the doctor left the room to get his tools and I began to reason with Gabe. I was trying to explain to him what the doctor was fixing to do and how he needed to be real still and that baby looked at me with total fear in his eyes and he said "Mommy, I can be still and do right if you'll just hold me!"
Those precious words have been a secret between me and Gabe even up unto this day. When the world is starting to wear Gabe down he'll come and whisper something similar to those words to me, climb in my lap (even at 12 years old) and hold on for a few minutes and then, in a flash, he's gone again. It's like he just needs that reassurance that Mom is still holding him.
As children of God we often need that reassurance that he is holding us. In Matthew 28:20 he reassures us by saying "...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Just as children need to feel our arms wrapped around them we need to fill God's love wrap around us. Sometimes I believe he wraps love around us through the arms of a child, a stranger, a sister or maybe our husbands. Or, sometimes, I think he wraps us in love with the wind from the ocean, the sand that surrounds us when we lay on the beach, the leaves from our trees that we rake up and then fall into, or maybe, it's that cup of coffee that warms us to the core. Always know that you are not alone and his hands are always holding you.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Calm the Storm!
We had just left the orthodontist’s office when I pulled into the parking lot for the grocery store. It seemed like every single parking space was full and we had to park way out by the road. As me and Kristina walked through the doors I thought "Oh, this will be fun!" The place was crowded. I pulled my list out of my purse, got a pen and took a breath. It was the weekend before Thanksgiving and everybody and their mother was there getting their holiday meal groceries. Me, I was too broke to buy the holiday food and was simply there to buy my weekly groceries and knew that I was going to have to wave the storm in a few days (the day before Thanksgiving) to get my holiday groceries.
Up and down the aisles I went. Meticulously marking off the items that I was there to get and after placing each item in the buggy I would flip my list over and manually add up my list. I knew I only had so much money and I could not under any circumstance go over that limit. People seemed to get frustrated with me for just standing in the aisle. I wasn’t in the middle in anyone’s way I was just pulled over to the side as close I could possibly get to the aisle itself. But, that didn’t matter to some women. Kristina was rammed in the back several times with a buggy, her foot rolled over and if these women were fire breathing dragons I think both she and I would be considered "crispy" about right now.
Kristina finally threw in the towel and asked to go look at cds in the electronics department and I felt so sorry for her I agreed. I began to look into my buggy, look at my list and flip the list over to see where I was money wise. There were several items that I needed that I knew I had accidentally missed but they were three or four aisles back and there was no way I was going to go back! No way!! I finished up getting about three days worth of groceries, grabbed Kristina and out the door we ran. As I walked in the house Shane began to ask "Did you get water?" "Nope!" I replied. "Did you buy a new mop?" "Ummm...sure didn’t!" I quipped. "Why not?!?!?!" I stopped for a minute, popped my brown eyes at him and said "That place was NUTS and I got what I could get and RAN!" He snickered and Kristina piped up, "No, seriously Daddy, you have NO clue!" We all began to joke and exaggerate what the store had been like and before long the irritation from my grocery trip was gone.
I woke up this morning with no story for my blog. I began to pray on the way to work which is pretty usual and then I looked at the clock knowing that I was running behind. "Lord, please let these cars get out of my way!" I said. I said it not really praying for it but just saying it to keep my patience. About that time, cars started changing lanes and it was if the road was all mine. I zipped through traffic like it was nothing. As I was walking into my office building the story of Jesus calming the sea came to my mind. The story is Mark 4:35-41. But, my favorite part is in verse 39. Jesus said, "‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm." First of all I am in awe of the "Quiet! Be still!" The exclamation marks really get me. He didn’t just quietly say it. He yelled it! You know, like we yell at our kids. I can just see him, standing there, finger pointing at the seas yelling "QQQQQQQQUUUUUUUIIIIIIIEEEEETTTTT! BE STILL!" And THEN it was completely calm! How about that? Just like that, it was calm. I bet it was faster than snapping your fingers or blinking your eyes! Poof!!! No more wind!
God can calm your storm. Did you know that? What we need to realize is he allows us to go through storms so we won’t forget that he is the one who calms them. It doesn’t have to be a life changing storm, although it can be, but simply driving through traffic, fighting the crowd while grocery shopping or heaven help us, shopping the day after Thanksgiving! He calms our storms. But, just remember, in verse 38,they said, "Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?". They woke Jesus up and asked him to calm the storm! So, when you find yourself in the middle of a raging storm, just catch your breath and ask Jesus to calm your storm!
Up and down the aisles I went. Meticulously marking off the items that I was there to get and after placing each item in the buggy I would flip my list over and manually add up my list. I knew I only had so much money and I could not under any circumstance go over that limit. People seemed to get frustrated with me for just standing in the aisle. I wasn’t in the middle in anyone’s way I was just pulled over to the side as close I could possibly get to the aisle itself. But, that didn’t matter to some women. Kristina was rammed in the back several times with a buggy, her foot rolled over and if these women were fire breathing dragons I think both she and I would be considered "crispy" about right now.
Kristina finally threw in the towel and asked to go look at cds in the electronics department and I felt so sorry for her I agreed. I began to look into my buggy, look at my list and flip the list over to see where I was money wise. There were several items that I needed that I knew I had accidentally missed but they were three or four aisles back and there was no way I was going to go back! No way!! I finished up getting about three days worth of groceries, grabbed Kristina and out the door we ran. As I walked in the house Shane began to ask "Did you get water?" "Nope!" I replied. "Did you buy a new mop?" "Ummm...sure didn’t!" I quipped. "Why not?!?!?!" I stopped for a minute, popped my brown eyes at him and said "That place was NUTS and I got what I could get and RAN!" He snickered and Kristina piped up, "No, seriously Daddy, you have NO clue!" We all began to joke and exaggerate what the store had been like and before long the irritation from my grocery trip was gone.
I woke up this morning with no story for my blog. I began to pray on the way to work which is pretty usual and then I looked at the clock knowing that I was running behind. "Lord, please let these cars get out of my way!" I said. I said it not really praying for it but just saying it to keep my patience. About that time, cars started changing lanes and it was if the road was all mine. I zipped through traffic like it was nothing. As I was walking into my office building the story of Jesus calming the sea came to my mind. The story is Mark 4:35-41. But, my favorite part is in verse 39. Jesus said, "‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm." First of all I am in awe of the "Quiet! Be still!" The exclamation marks really get me. He didn’t just quietly say it. He yelled it! You know, like we yell at our kids. I can just see him, standing there, finger pointing at the seas yelling "QQQQQQQQUUUUUUUIIIIIIIEEEEETTTTT! BE STILL!" And THEN it was completely calm! How about that? Just like that, it was calm. I bet it was faster than snapping your fingers or blinking your eyes! Poof!!! No more wind!
God can calm your storm. Did you know that? What we need to realize is he allows us to go through storms so we won’t forget that he is the one who calms them. It doesn’t have to be a life changing storm, although it can be, but simply driving through traffic, fighting the crowd while grocery shopping or heaven help us, shopping the day after Thanksgiving! He calms our storms. But, just remember, in verse 38,they said, "Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?". They woke Jesus up and asked him to calm the storm! So, when you find yourself in the middle of a raging storm, just catch your breath and ask Jesus to calm your storm!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Just a Recipe
Do you like coffee? Ewww....I don’t. I don’t even really like the smell of it. It seems awfully bitter to me and just, well, gross! I’m sure my Mom would hang her head in shame as the coffee addiction missed me somehow. My Mom, my Dad and my sister are all coffee drinkers but me, well, I’m a Mountain Dew drinker. I don’t like Starbucks, don’t like cappuccino, don’t like anything fancy and not too fond of anything hot. Girl, I don’t even like taking cough syrup because it feels warm going down my goozle!
But, I do love me some hot chocolate! There is just something about that drink that soothes my soul, warms my heart and makes me feel at home. I can be in a crowded mall, sitting in a traffic jam or running crazy through those zig-zag lines at the court house but you give me a cup of hot chocolate and it is like all of that disappears. Wonder if there is something in that drink that triggers your brain to slow down and just catch your breath? Mmmmmm....I can taste it just thinking about it! In my opinion, it is the drink of champions, the drink of snowmen and the drink of, well, ME!
I have passed my love for hot chocolate onto my precious Gabe. He plans his night according to when he can drink a cup of hot chocolate. If I let him, he would drink a cup at dinner! In the past we would always warm water up on the stove or pop a cup in the microwave but my Mom recently brought a coffee pot over to my house. Yes, yes, the woman drinks SO much coffee that she had to buy me a coffee pot to keep at my house so she could have her coffee when she came to visit! It is sad, I know, she needs our prayers! (Just kidding!) So, me and Gabe learned that we could pour some water into that coffee pot and heat our water up for hot chocolate in a snap. We are like two hot chocolate addicts needing our fix waiting on that water to run through that pot. We have our cups out, the mix in the cup, spoons in hand and we just stare at it thinking "Come on! Hurry up!"
I tend to buy a box of instant hot chocolate mix every few days and decided the other night that maybe it would be fun if Gabe and I made our own mix. How cool would that be? I pulled out of the cabinet a container of cocoa, searched the label for a recipe but found nothing for hot chocolate. I searched the internet for an easy recipe for instant hot chocolate mix and found nothing. Oh, I found plenty of recipes for making it with semi-sweet morsels, milk, vanilla extract and so on but could not seem to come across a recipe for the powder stuff! I begin to ask co-workers if they knew how and no one seemed to know. I begin to think "Is this recipe a big secret like the Bush’s Baked Beans?!?!?! Is this a top secret recipe?!?!?!" I joked with a co-worker that I could probably find instructions to build a bomb easier than I could find a hot chocolate recipe! After a little more searching I did end up finding a fairly easy recipe that me and my little man are going to try out but as always, this got me to thinking.
How great is our God that he gives us an easy to find recipe for salvation. He doesn’t hide it, it’s not a day long search, it is just right there in front of us in plain view. Probably the first verse we all ever learned was John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." There it is! How about them apples? Ain’t God good? We go through life trying to complicate everything all day long, at every turn, making mountains out of molehills and just feeling all poor pitiful for ourselves thinking how in the world we are going to find our way out of a situation when we don’t have to search any further for the answer than Jesus. So, stop searching all the crooks and crevices and stop trying to complicate it all and just accept it, just accept him! He’s right there in the open and he’s waiting!
But, I do love me some hot chocolate! There is just something about that drink that soothes my soul, warms my heart and makes me feel at home. I can be in a crowded mall, sitting in a traffic jam or running crazy through those zig-zag lines at the court house but you give me a cup of hot chocolate and it is like all of that disappears. Wonder if there is something in that drink that triggers your brain to slow down and just catch your breath? Mmmmmm....I can taste it just thinking about it! In my opinion, it is the drink of champions, the drink of snowmen and the drink of, well, ME!
I have passed my love for hot chocolate onto my precious Gabe. He plans his night according to when he can drink a cup of hot chocolate. If I let him, he would drink a cup at dinner! In the past we would always warm water up on the stove or pop a cup in the microwave but my Mom recently brought a coffee pot over to my house. Yes, yes, the woman drinks SO much coffee that she had to buy me a coffee pot to keep at my house so she could have her coffee when she came to visit! It is sad, I know, she needs our prayers! (Just kidding!) So, me and Gabe learned that we could pour some water into that coffee pot and heat our water up for hot chocolate in a snap. We are like two hot chocolate addicts needing our fix waiting on that water to run through that pot. We have our cups out, the mix in the cup, spoons in hand and we just stare at it thinking "Come on! Hurry up!"
I tend to buy a box of instant hot chocolate mix every few days and decided the other night that maybe it would be fun if Gabe and I made our own mix. How cool would that be? I pulled out of the cabinet a container of cocoa, searched the label for a recipe but found nothing for hot chocolate. I searched the internet for an easy recipe for instant hot chocolate mix and found nothing. Oh, I found plenty of recipes for making it with semi-sweet morsels, milk, vanilla extract and so on but could not seem to come across a recipe for the powder stuff! I begin to ask co-workers if they knew how and no one seemed to know. I begin to think "Is this recipe a big secret like the Bush’s Baked Beans?!?!?! Is this a top secret recipe?!?!?!" I joked with a co-worker that I could probably find instructions to build a bomb easier than I could find a hot chocolate recipe! After a little more searching I did end up finding a fairly easy recipe that me and my little man are going to try out but as always, this got me to thinking.
How great is our God that he gives us an easy to find recipe for salvation. He doesn’t hide it, it’s not a day long search, it is just right there in front of us in plain view. Probably the first verse we all ever learned was John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." There it is! How about them apples? Ain’t God good? We go through life trying to complicate everything all day long, at every turn, making mountains out of molehills and just feeling all poor pitiful for ourselves thinking how in the world we are going to find our way out of a situation when we don’t have to search any further for the answer than Jesus. So, stop searching all the crooks and crevices and stop trying to complicate it all and just accept it, just accept him! He’s right there in the open and he’s waiting!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Everything Rides on Hope Now
Have you ever been at a place in your life where you think you just can’t handle one more thing? Decisions to be made are everywhere. Maybe you have had to discipline your child over something that you felt was ridiculous or maybe you had to decide to stay at your current job or move on to a new one. How about making the decision to put your beloved family pet down or making a financial decision for your family. Do you ever feel like you are just standing in one place juggling a bunch of balls? I do!
In one ball I have Kristina. She will be 16 in 9 short days. For those who have had a child turn 16 you know where I’m coming from. For those of you who haven’t experienced that yet, I can’t explain it. There are no words to even begin to describe it. In another ball I have Gabe. A pre-teen. He is trying to figure out where he fits in the pecking order of Jr. High School. What clothes does he like to wear? What type of friends will he have? In yet another ball I have Shane. He works in the auto manufacturing industry and for anyone who lives in the world today...enough said. And naturally in another ball I have my job. I work in the legal field for a defense law firm and guess who one of our biggest clients is? Yep, you guessed it, one of the biggest auto manufacturers in the world. Along with all of this I have the normal balls that I juggle on a daily basis just as everyone else.
My heart has been heavy these past few days and today was no different when I woke up. I got dressed, got the kids out of the house and headed out the door to work. I often pray on my way to work or some days I will turn on the local Christian radio station and worship the Lord in song. Today, I couldn’t seem to muster the strength to pray. I turned the radio on to the local Christian station and began to drive to work in somewhat of a fog. Within just a few minutes the DJ introduced a song by Addison Road called "Hope Now." As the song began to play wave after wave seemed to wash over me. A wave a hope, a wave of faith, a wave of strength, a wave of patience, a wave of peace, a wave of love. By the time the chorus started to play I had tears streaming down my face. "Everything rides on hope now, Everything rides on faith somehow, When the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free."
In Matthew 6:34 he tells us "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Do you know why we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow? Because HIS LOVE SETS US FREE! As the song finished I dried my tears, looked towards heaven and just smiled. I didn't have to say anything...he knew my heart. Isn't it amazing how he can speak to us in something as simple as a song? I have often heard people say, "I've never heard God speak to me." I want to take that person and shake them because has God not provided us with eyes to see him, ears to hear the wind or hear a song, sensation in our hands to feel pain as we dry a child's tears. Oh, he speaks to us...the thing is....do we listen?
In one ball I have Kristina. She will be 16 in 9 short days. For those who have had a child turn 16 you know where I’m coming from. For those of you who haven’t experienced that yet, I can’t explain it. There are no words to even begin to describe it. In another ball I have Gabe. A pre-teen. He is trying to figure out where he fits in the pecking order of Jr. High School. What clothes does he like to wear? What type of friends will he have? In yet another ball I have Shane. He works in the auto manufacturing industry and for anyone who lives in the world today...enough said. And naturally in another ball I have my job. I work in the legal field for a defense law firm and guess who one of our biggest clients is? Yep, you guessed it, one of the biggest auto manufacturers in the world. Along with all of this I have the normal balls that I juggle on a daily basis just as everyone else.
My heart has been heavy these past few days and today was no different when I woke up. I got dressed, got the kids out of the house and headed out the door to work. I often pray on my way to work or some days I will turn on the local Christian radio station and worship the Lord in song. Today, I couldn’t seem to muster the strength to pray. I turned the radio on to the local Christian station and began to drive to work in somewhat of a fog. Within just a few minutes the DJ introduced a song by Addison Road called "Hope Now." As the song began to play wave after wave seemed to wash over me. A wave a hope, a wave of faith, a wave of strength, a wave of patience, a wave of peace, a wave of love. By the time the chorus started to play I had tears streaming down my face. "Everything rides on hope now, Everything rides on faith somehow, When the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free."
In Matthew 6:34 he tells us "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Do you know why we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow? Because HIS LOVE SETS US FREE! As the song finished I dried my tears, looked towards heaven and just smiled. I didn't have to say anything...he knew my heart. Isn't it amazing how he can speak to us in something as simple as a song? I have often heard people say, "I've never heard God speak to me." I want to take that person and shake them because has God not provided us with eyes to see him, ears to hear the wind or hear a song, sensation in our hands to feel pain as we dry a child's tears. Oh, he speaks to us...the thing is....do we listen?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Mix It Up
My due date for Kristina’s delivery was fast approaching and I was bigger than, well, a barn I guess. I can remember that I couldn’t tie my shoes or put on my own socks. I waddled around like a penguin and basically lived in sweat pants and t-shirts. I had a few maternity clothes that I wore when I left the house, which was rare, but I was more comfortable in clothes that did not touch my skin. I was not a happy pregnant person. Some women say they are the happiest when they are pregnant and I seriously just want to slap those women. I was miserable! I was huge, couldn’t breathe, my stomach always hurt, Kristina sat on top of every single organ that she could crawl around and find.
Shane and I lived with my parents and my Mom’s Mom, Grannie, came to stay with us so I wouldn’t be left home alone during the day and go into labor because let’s face it, I would have never fit behind the steering wheel! I will treasure those days spent just me and Grannie more than any picture, any card, any gift, any anything because it was just me and her. We talked and talked like two old friends. It wasn’t like grandmother - granddaughter. She gave me advice and we would tell stories and just laugh and laugh. It was the greatest time of my life. I asked her questions about my Mom and she would tell me secrets that sometimes I think I forget until something triggers my memory and then I grin as I can vividly remember her mannerisms as she told me the story. She was a robust woman during this time and when she would tell me a story she would flap her arms above her head and get to laughing so hard her entire body would shake. As she started laughing really hard she would throw her arthritis bent fingers over her mouth and quietly giggle. I see my own Mother doing some of these things now and I smile with pride because as I watch my daughter spend time with my Mom I know that she too will one day have sweet, precious memories of her grandmother.
So one day we were talking about cooking and I asked her why my Mom always mixed brownies with her hands. I told her that as far back as I could remember Momma didn’t use a spoon or a mixer to mix the ingredients she used her hands. My Grannie looked at me like I had bumped my head and she said, "Precious, I have no idea why she does that." I said, "Well, Leaner," (her name was Lena Mae Grimes but we called her Leaner for meanness) "she told me that she did it because you told her too!" Again, she cocked her eyes over towards me, looked over the rim of her glasses and said "Well, I ain’t never done it that way so we’ll have to ask her." We finished our day and chit chatted about all sorts of things until my Mom came home from work. Momma no more walked in the door and Grannie said "Helen, what’s this about you mixing brownies with your hand?" My Momma very proudly said, "Mother, you gave me a recipe for brownies years ago and it says AND I QUOTE ‘mix by hand’!!" Let me tell you, my Grannie threw her arms above her head waving her hands back and forth laughing hysterically. She said, "Helen, mix by hand means don’t use a mixer....it means....use a spoon!" Well, my Momma got to laughing and wheezing and I got to laughing to the point Kristina got to kicking so hard my belly started to hurt. That was a good day and a day that I will never forget! I still think of that day when I make brownies myself. Now, times have changed and my brownies come out of a box and I just add water and an egg but as I’m stirring I can still hear my Grannie laughing if I listen real hard.
Shortly after Kristina was born my Grannie’s health began to fade and even though she lived for several years past Kristina’s birth and even Gabe’s birth she just was never the same after that time. Many laughs and many tears took place during the life of my Grannie. She was a priceless treasure to this world. As Kristina’s birthday is fast approaching my Grannie has been on my mind. A co-worker of mine experienced a loss in her life and she has been sad. She has cried off and on at work and me, just being me, has tried to tell funny stories or almost ignore her pain just because I wanted to make her smile and laugh. But, ever so gently I felt like God touched my heart and said ‘sometimes you just need to cry.’ I love Ecclesiastes 3. If you ever wonder what to do at a certain time in your life, you can go here. Verse 4 says "...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." I am notorious for wanting to be given the space to cry if I want to but often find myself not allowing others to do it. I want the space to be mad and deal with a situation but I find that I hover over my children and Shane when they are angry. This was a good lesson for me. My co-worker’s tears were a test...I failed it...but I learned. Many times we want to be selfish when we want OUR time but we often forget that other people, well, they NEED their time too. So, just catch your breath, laugh when it is time to laugh, cry when it is time to cry, mourn when it is time to mourn and girlfriend dance when it is time to dance!!
Shane and I lived with my parents and my Mom’s Mom, Grannie, came to stay with us so I wouldn’t be left home alone during the day and go into labor because let’s face it, I would have never fit behind the steering wheel! I will treasure those days spent just me and Grannie more than any picture, any card, any gift, any anything because it was just me and her. We talked and talked like two old friends. It wasn’t like grandmother - granddaughter. She gave me advice and we would tell stories and just laugh and laugh. It was the greatest time of my life. I asked her questions about my Mom and she would tell me secrets that sometimes I think I forget until something triggers my memory and then I grin as I can vividly remember her mannerisms as she told me the story. She was a robust woman during this time and when she would tell me a story she would flap her arms above her head and get to laughing so hard her entire body would shake. As she started laughing really hard she would throw her arthritis bent fingers over her mouth and quietly giggle. I see my own Mother doing some of these things now and I smile with pride because as I watch my daughter spend time with my Mom I know that she too will one day have sweet, precious memories of her grandmother.
So one day we were talking about cooking and I asked her why my Mom always mixed brownies with her hands. I told her that as far back as I could remember Momma didn’t use a spoon or a mixer to mix the ingredients she used her hands. My Grannie looked at me like I had bumped my head and she said, "Precious, I have no idea why she does that." I said, "Well, Leaner," (her name was Lena Mae Grimes but we called her Leaner for meanness) "she told me that she did it because you told her too!" Again, she cocked her eyes over towards me, looked over the rim of her glasses and said "Well, I ain’t never done it that way so we’ll have to ask her." We finished our day and chit chatted about all sorts of things until my Mom came home from work. Momma no more walked in the door and Grannie said "Helen, what’s this about you mixing brownies with your hand?" My Momma very proudly said, "Mother, you gave me a recipe for brownies years ago and it says AND I QUOTE ‘mix by hand’!!" Let me tell you, my Grannie threw her arms above her head waving her hands back and forth laughing hysterically. She said, "Helen, mix by hand means don’t use a mixer....it means....use a spoon!" Well, my Momma got to laughing and wheezing and I got to laughing to the point Kristina got to kicking so hard my belly started to hurt. That was a good day and a day that I will never forget! I still think of that day when I make brownies myself. Now, times have changed and my brownies come out of a box and I just add water and an egg but as I’m stirring I can still hear my Grannie laughing if I listen real hard.
Shortly after Kristina was born my Grannie’s health began to fade and even though she lived for several years past Kristina’s birth and even Gabe’s birth she just was never the same after that time. Many laughs and many tears took place during the life of my Grannie. She was a priceless treasure to this world. As Kristina’s birthday is fast approaching my Grannie has been on my mind. A co-worker of mine experienced a loss in her life and she has been sad. She has cried off and on at work and me, just being me, has tried to tell funny stories or almost ignore her pain just because I wanted to make her smile and laugh. But, ever so gently I felt like God touched my heart and said ‘sometimes you just need to cry.’ I love Ecclesiastes 3. If you ever wonder what to do at a certain time in your life, you can go here. Verse 4 says "...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." I am notorious for wanting to be given the space to cry if I want to but often find myself not allowing others to do it. I want the space to be mad and deal with a situation but I find that I hover over my children and Shane when they are angry. This was a good lesson for me. My co-worker’s tears were a test...I failed it...but I learned. Many times we want to be selfish when we want OUR time but we often forget that other people, well, they NEED their time too. So, just catch your breath, laugh when it is time to laugh, cry when it is time to cry, mourn when it is time to mourn and girlfriend dance when it is time to dance!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Safe at Home
It was a cold Fall Saturday at my house. As I laid in the bed I started going over in my head what all I wanted to get accomplished. We have some yard work that needs to be done and then I wanted to clean the house and I wanted to get everything done in time to watch THE game. There are a few things that are taken seriously in my house...(1) church; (2) rules; and (3) ALABAMA football! I rolled out of bed and started walking towards the living room when I realized it felt awfully cold in the house. I opened the front door, slipped open the glass door and felt the frigid wind blow in on me. Brrrrr.....it was cold! The weather man said that we would have an icy north wind on Saturday but you know I don’t understand all that meteorologist talk and just wish they would say during their forecast, "Lori, it will be VERY cold outside this weekend, don’t plan on doing anything outside!" That, I would understand.
I slammed the door shut, ran to the closet and got a blanket and bundled up in the recliner. Shane came through and I told him how cold it was outside and before I could finish my long, drawn out description of our completely frigid morning, Gabe came dragging into the living room. After a few minutes Shane told Gabe to go feed Chyna and Bear (our dogs). Chyna is an 8 year old American Bulldog and has seen her better days. She is slow moving, sleeps pretty much all day and simply lays by the fence to warn potential intruders that she is there because she just don’t have the energy to bark and cause a ruckus like she used to. Bear, well, he’s a 6 month old mut. He is part German Shepard and part Black Lab. He is one of those Wal-Mart finds. I had gone to buy groceries one day and as I came out and was putting the groceries in the truck this man was parked a few spots down with these puppies in the bed of his truck and I just couldn’t pass them up. I batted my big brown eyes at Shane and did the infamous "Plllllleeeeeeeaaaasssseeeee????" to which he couldn’t turn down and so that is how Bear came about.
Gabe bolted out the front door to retrieve the dog food bowls, raced in the laundry room, filled each bowl up with the precise amount of food and ran back out the front door. Gabe don’t slowly do anything. If you give him some instructions he is on it! Full speed ahead. He went from crawling to running and I think he only learned to actually slow down and walk when he started school and he had no other choice but to walk. After a few minutes Gabe comes back in the house with a frightened look on his face. "Daddy!" he exclaimed. "The front gate is open and Bear is gone!" Shane got up and peaked out the glass door and sure enough our front gate was laying on the ground. We don’t know if the wind knocked it over, if some mischievous kids pushed it over or exactly how it had been knocked down but sure enough it was laying on the ground and Bear was gone. Shane stood on the porch whistling and calling "Bear! Bear!" Nothing. No sign of him. My boys came in the house, threw on some warm clothes and jackets and off they went. They walked up and down the roads around our house calling for Bear and looking but came home empty handed.
As the day continued on we all took turns peeking outside looking for him, hoping to see him standing at the gate but almost knowing he wouldn’t be there. As a puppy we all had resigned to the fact that he was probably long gone. He was too young to be out alone, he had never been outside our fenced in yard and probably would have no clue how to get home, he is so small and there are so many bigger dogs in our neighborhood and he is just so friendly he wouldn’t understand the ramification of snooping in another dog’s yard. And then there was the dreaded thought of living on a busy road that he had been hit.
As the day ended and night began to fall the temperature kept dropping and when I say it got cold outside....it got bone chilling cold. Chyna is so old that Shane had made her a bed in our shed out back to sleep so that she would be out of the wind and around 8:00 he went outside to walk her and feed her. As she snorted while eating her food, Shane looked up and saw a black figure walking back and forth near the gate. As he neared the middle of the driveway he said "Bear, is that you?" and about that time he saw something jumping up and down and immediately he knew it was Bear. God created that dog with frog legs for hind legs because he jumps higher than any dog I have ever seen! Shane ran out to the gate , flung it open and let him in. He came flying into the yard jumping around, licking Shane and just so happy to be home. Shane knocked on the window a few times and as I opened the door I saw him. I started yelling "Bear’s back!" Everybody ran outside petting him and loving on him and checking him over to make sure he wasn’t hurt. I started telling Shane that I wondered what sort of adventure he had been on. "I bet if that dog could talk he would have one more of a story to tell us!" I said. About that time, Bear came over to me, gave me kisses, sat down in between my feet like he always does and sighed. He had a sense of relief about him. It was as if he was saying, "I’m home!"
As always, this got me thinking. I wonder if God feels the same way about us. He walks up and down the road calling our names, tugging at our hearts, peeking out the door and windows just waiting on us to come home. He knows it is a tough ole world out there and that there is danger at every turn and he knows how safe we would be if we would just come home to the safety of his "fence." Luke 15 is the story of the prodical son. In verse 20 he says ... "but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him..." That one verse gives me a lot of comfort. No matter what I have ever done in my life, the moment I just caught my breath, ran (and I mean I ran...almost knocked a man at the end of the pew down so I could get out) down the aisle to Brother John (my wonderful pastor) and took his hand and told him that I was a sinner and wanted salvation from my guilt and shame, God was standing there opening the fence to let me in. He looked in my eyes and said "Child, I know you were lost and I often thought you would never find your way home but here you are!" and he threw his arms around me with a smile on his face. Do you have that relief of knowing you are safe at home?
I slammed the door shut, ran to the closet and got a blanket and bundled up in the recliner. Shane came through and I told him how cold it was outside and before I could finish my long, drawn out description of our completely frigid morning, Gabe came dragging into the living room. After a few minutes Shane told Gabe to go feed Chyna and Bear (our dogs). Chyna is an 8 year old American Bulldog and has seen her better days. She is slow moving, sleeps pretty much all day and simply lays by the fence to warn potential intruders that she is there because she just don’t have the energy to bark and cause a ruckus like she used to. Bear, well, he’s a 6 month old mut. He is part German Shepard and part Black Lab. He is one of those Wal-Mart finds. I had gone to buy groceries one day and as I came out and was putting the groceries in the truck this man was parked a few spots down with these puppies in the bed of his truck and I just couldn’t pass them up. I batted my big brown eyes at Shane and did the infamous "Plllllleeeeeeeaaaasssseeeee????" to which he couldn’t turn down and so that is how Bear came about.
Gabe bolted out the front door to retrieve the dog food bowls, raced in the laundry room, filled each bowl up with the precise amount of food and ran back out the front door. Gabe don’t slowly do anything. If you give him some instructions he is on it! Full speed ahead. He went from crawling to running and I think he only learned to actually slow down and walk when he started school and he had no other choice but to walk. After a few minutes Gabe comes back in the house with a frightened look on his face. "Daddy!" he exclaimed. "The front gate is open and Bear is gone!" Shane got up and peaked out the glass door and sure enough our front gate was laying on the ground. We don’t know if the wind knocked it over, if some mischievous kids pushed it over or exactly how it had been knocked down but sure enough it was laying on the ground and Bear was gone. Shane stood on the porch whistling and calling "Bear! Bear!" Nothing. No sign of him. My boys came in the house, threw on some warm clothes and jackets and off they went. They walked up and down the roads around our house calling for Bear and looking but came home empty handed.
As the day continued on we all took turns peeking outside looking for him, hoping to see him standing at the gate but almost knowing he wouldn’t be there. As a puppy we all had resigned to the fact that he was probably long gone. He was too young to be out alone, he had never been outside our fenced in yard and probably would have no clue how to get home, he is so small and there are so many bigger dogs in our neighborhood and he is just so friendly he wouldn’t understand the ramification of snooping in another dog’s yard. And then there was the dreaded thought of living on a busy road that he had been hit.
As the day ended and night began to fall the temperature kept dropping and when I say it got cold outside....it got bone chilling cold. Chyna is so old that Shane had made her a bed in our shed out back to sleep so that she would be out of the wind and around 8:00 he went outside to walk her and feed her. As she snorted while eating her food, Shane looked up and saw a black figure walking back and forth near the gate. As he neared the middle of the driveway he said "Bear, is that you?" and about that time he saw something jumping up and down and immediately he knew it was Bear. God created that dog with frog legs for hind legs because he jumps higher than any dog I have ever seen! Shane ran out to the gate , flung it open and let him in. He came flying into the yard jumping around, licking Shane and just so happy to be home. Shane knocked on the window a few times and as I opened the door I saw him. I started yelling "Bear’s back!" Everybody ran outside petting him and loving on him and checking him over to make sure he wasn’t hurt. I started telling Shane that I wondered what sort of adventure he had been on. "I bet if that dog could talk he would have one more of a story to tell us!" I said. About that time, Bear came over to me, gave me kisses, sat down in between my feet like he always does and sighed. He had a sense of relief about him. It was as if he was saying, "I’m home!"
As always, this got me thinking. I wonder if God feels the same way about us. He walks up and down the road calling our names, tugging at our hearts, peeking out the door and windows just waiting on us to come home. He knows it is a tough ole world out there and that there is danger at every turn and he knows how safe we would be if we would just come home to the safety of his "fence." Luke 15 is the story of the prodical son. In verse 20 he says ... "but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him..." That one verse gives me a lot of comfort. No matter what I have ever done in my life, the moment I just caught my breath, ran (and I mean I ran...almost knocked a man at the end of the pew down so I could get out) down the aisle to Brother John (my wonderful pastor) and took his hand and told him that I was a sinner and wanted salvation from my guilt and shame, God was standing there opening the fence to let me in. He looked in my eyes and said "Child, I know you were lost and I often thought you would never find your way home but here you are!" and he threw his arms around me with a smile on his face. Do you have that relief of knowing you are safe at home?
Monday, November 17, 2008
Warm Me Up
The bed was warm, the pillows just the way I like them and my fan was humming that monotone hum that always helps me sleep when I was awoken by the phone ringing. As I rolled over and picked up the receiver I growled "Hello?" I heard, "It’s 6:00 baby, get up." It was my sweetie, Shane. I’m most definitely NOT a morning person and to some extent he is. When Shane is working day shift he always calls and wakes me up and this day was no different. We talked for a few minutes with me drifting in and out of sleep when he says, "It is really cold outside, so go out there and warm the car up before you leave." This statement made my eyes pop open like Kevin from Home Alone when he realized his family left without him! Winter is probably my favorite season except the dreaded "warm the car up" part. We don’t have a garage so every winter morning I have to drudge outside, crank the car, turn the defrost on and warm the car up. I wasn’t fully awake by the time I went to crank the car. The cold wind slapped me in the face as I opened the door and my puppy immediately began to jump like he had springs in his hind legs until I stopped to pet him. As I bent down to give him some attention he licked my face and even though I love those puppy kisses his nose was wet and cold and I thought "Ewww....puppy slime!" I cranked the car, turned the heat on and all but ran back inside the house.
I finished up my morning routine, flat-ironed my hair, brushed my teeth, turned the heat down, checked myself ‘do I have everything?’, and out the door I went. When I opened the door my puppy was right there ready to give more kisses and he jumped up and down like he hadn’t seen me in ermmm....a whole 10 minutes! I pet him once again, jumped in the car and off to work I went. It’s close to the holiday season and the local radio station is playing Christmas music so I’m having myself a good time singing Christmas songs when all of a sudden it hits me...."I wonder if God gets frustrated having to warm us up?" Does he sit in heaven with his face in his hands shaking his head back and forth thinking "What more do I need to do for you to realize how much I love you? I sent my son to die on the cross for YOU! I gave you everything I have. Is that not enough?!?!?!"
When you sit and think about it...what do we have to be so mully-grubb about anyway? In Psalm 57:8-11 he tells us that we need to wake up ...Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.
Go back to that moment when you were saved and freed from the guilt and shame of your sins. You couldn’t contain yourself! You wanted to shout it from the mountain tops, wanted to dive into reading the Bible, ran people off the road to get to church and talked about God and your salvation every day...all day long. Do you still do that? Do you still have that zeal? Are you awake?
As time passes we often get cold, a little ice on our windshields and tend to sputter instead of staying fired up. Today I challenge you to share with the lady at the grocery store what God has done for you. Stop a co-worker in the hall and tell her how blessed you are today. Allow the woman who waited until the very last minute to merge, come in front of you in traffic and then just wave at her. Wake up ladies! Warm your heart up, just catch your breath and share God’s love today!!
I finished up my morning routine, flat-ironed my hair, brushed my teeth, turned the heat down, checked myself ‘do I have everything?’, and out the door I went. When I opened the door my puppy was right there ready to give more kisses and he jumped up and down like he hadn’t seen me in ermmm....a whole 10 minutes! I pet him once again, jumped in the car and off to work I went. It’s close to the holiday season and the local radio station is playing Christmas music so I’m having myself a good time singing Christmas songs when all of a sudden it hits me...."I wonder if God gets frustrated having to warm us up?" Does he sit in heaven with his face in his hands shaking his head back and forth thinking "What more do I need to do for you to realize how much I love you? I sent my son to die on the cross for YOU! I gave you everything I have. Is that not enough?!?!?!"
When you sit and think about it...what do we have to be so mully-grubb about anyway? In Psalm 57:8-11 he tells us that we need to wake up ...Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.
Go back to that moment when you were saved and freed from the guilt and shame of your sins. You couldn’t contain yourself! You wanted to shout it from the mountain tops, wanted to dive into reading the Bible, ran people off the road to get to church and talked about God and your salvation every day...all day long. Do you still do that? Do you still have that zeal? Are you awake?
As time passes we often get cold, a little ice on our windshields and tend to sputter instead of staying fired up. Today I challenge you to share with the lady at the grocery store what God has done for you. Stop a co-worker in the hall and tell her how blessed you are today. Allow the woman who waited until the very last minute to merge, come in front of you in traffic and then just wave at her. Wake up ladies! Warm your heart up, just catch your breath and share God’s love today!!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Be Loveable
I had one of those days at work. The phone wouldn’t quit ringing, my email notification box kept popping up on my screen faster than I could finish the previous task. I was up and down, up and down all day long. I laughingly joked that I had a spring implanted in my rear-end because I wasn’t able to stop and just sit down for one second. My desk was submerged in paperwork. It was like someone stood at one end of my desk and blew as hard as they could and the paper just flowed to the other side of the desk. I would pick up my pen, write a reminder note, lay it down and lose it. I bet I lost two or three pens to the pig pen that was my desk. The office was extremely noisy for some reason and it was almost like I couldn’t even hear myself think. I would have a thought and before I could complete the thought another one would rush through my mind. Or, was it someone else’s conversation that I was picking up here and there that had my mind racing. I didn’t know. I just wanted a little peace. I got up and almost ran to the bathroom so I could catch my breath and there were women in there chatting (well honestly fussing) about their day as well. "Ugh!" I thought. "This is not what I needed." I came back to my desk sat down and continued on. I got a phone call that sort of ruffled my tail feathers (as my Momma says) and I stood up, slung open a file cabinet drawer and just stopped, put my hands over my eyes and said out loud, "I need to pray! I need some strength!" My co-worker sort of snickered at me but never said a word. I think she has gotten used to my quirkiness after a year of working so closely together.
Unable to find what I was looking for I slung myself back into my chair and once again opened my email to only read a few sentences that made my blood pressure begin to boil. The email wasn’t mean, nasty or rude. It was giving me some information that I truly didn’t want at that moment. Have you ever had a day like that? You think, if I can just make it to quitting time then I’ll be fine. I can make this. And then, da-da-da-DUM, you find out that your evening isn’t going to go just as you had dreamed. No bubble bath, no quiet time...total chaos (okay, I’m being a drama queen but you get my point).
I snatched the phone up and called Shane and asked if he knew of the development I had just learned and he knew nothing of it. He was just as shocked as I was. I snapped a few comments, he gruffly said a few things and then BAM we hung up. It wasn’t an argument or a fight but it wasn’t the most loving conversation between husband and wife either. I’m sure that is just something that happens in my house....right?!?!?! So, I begin to stew over his "tone" with me and I once again pulled up www.biblegateway.com and start randomly clicking on scripture. I was wanting God to validate my harshness and feelings about the entire situation but everything I clicked on, all the verses weren’t telling me I was right....they were telling me I was wrong. How dare them?!?!?! That is so not what I wanted at that moment. I went to Google and typed "how to love the unloving," not because Shane was unloving but, well, I don’t know why I searched for that, but HE knows!! The first hit I got was a website that referenced 1 John 4. I clicked back over to biblegateway.com and pulled it up. As I’ve said before I have a hard time understanding the Bible so often times I will read passages using The Message version. As I read 1 John 4:7-21 God began to melt my heart like a knife through butter. I was the one who was unloving. I began to come under conviction for my actions. For me, the way this particular version words some things is just like a Father disciplining his child. There was one little sentence that just "burned my back side" in verses 20-21, ... If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see?... I hung my head in shame and picked up the phone and called Shane. I apologized for the attitude that I had when we talked earlier and explained that my day at work had affected me and even though I didn’t mean to be ugly or mean to sound hateful that is exactly how it came out. After I hung up with the phone with Shane, I closed my eyes, caught my breath, and finished my day. God taught me such a powerful lesson. I am the one who needs to keep her feet grounded, stay humble and always make sure to show love and be loveable.
Unable to find what I was looking for I slung myself back into my chair and once again opened my email to only read a few sentences that made my blood pressure begin to boil. The email wasn’t mean, nasty or rude. It was giving me some information that I truly didn’t want at that moment. Have you ever had a day like that? You think, if I can just make it to quitting time then I’ll be fine. I can make this. And then, da-da-da-DUM, you find out that your evening isn’t going to go just as you had dreamed. No bubble bath, no quiet time...total chaos (okay, I’m being a drama queen but you get my point).
I snatched the phone up and called Shane and asked if he knew of the development I had just learned and he knew nothing of it. He was just as shocked as I was. I snapped a few comments, he gruffly said a few things and then BAM we hung up. It wasn’t an argument or a fight but it wasn’t the most loving conversation between husband and wife either. I’m sure that is just something that happens in my house....right?!?!?! So, I begin to stew over his "tone" with me and I once again pulled up www.biblegateway.com and start randomly clicking on scripture. I was wanting God to validate my harshness and feelings about the entire situation but everything I clicked on, all the verses weren’t telling me I was right....they were telling me I was wrong. How dare them?!?!?! That is so not what I wanted at that moment. I went to Google and typed "how to love the unloving," not because Shane was unloving but, well, I don’t know why I searched for that, but HE knows!! The first hit I got was a website that referenced 1 John 4. I clicked back over to biblegateway.com and pulled it up. As I’ve said before I have a hard time understanding the Bible so often times I will read passages using The Message version. As I read 1 John 4:7-21 God began to melt my heart like a knife through butter. I was the one who was unloving. I began to come under conviction for my actions. For me, the way this particular version words some things is just like a Father disciplining his child. There was one little sentence that just "burned my back side" in verses 20-21, ... If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see?... I hung my head in shame and picked up the phone and called Shane. I apologized for the attitude that I had when we talked earlier and explained that my day at work had affected me and even though I didn’t mean to be ugly or mean to sound hateful that is exactly how it came out. After I hung up with the phone with Shane, I closed my eyes, caught my breath, and finished my day. God taught me such a powerful lesson. I am the one who needs to keep her feet grounded, stay humble and always make sure to show love and be loveable.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Listen to Me!!!!
My husband and I were standing in the check out line at the grocery store with our 12 year old son, Gabe. Gabe is probably the sweetest, most kind and loving child that God ever created. But, Gabe is a talker. When I say this boy talks a lot, he talks A LOT! He talks about school, games, the military, television shows he watches, his friends, he tells stories, he asks questions he just talks and talks and talks. I’m sure at this point you’re thinking, "Wonder where he gets it?!?!" Plus, Gabe thinks that you have to be looking at him to hear him so if he begins to talk he will call you, "Momma" "Daddy" and if you don’t look at him he will begin to tap you and say a little louder, "Momma" "Daddy." He is a persistent little man and he will not stop until you stop what you are doing, look directly at him and listen to what he is saying. So many times Shane and I have said "Gabe, we don’t have to look at you to hear you, Son."
So, this one particular day as we are standing in line to check out Gabe is on a roll and had been for about the hour and a half that we had been in the store. It was constantly, "Daddy listen, Daddy look at me, Daddy!!" Shane slapped his hand on the back of his head close to his neck, up across the top of his bald head, down his face to his chin in utter frustration and said, "Son, please, for just five minutes stop talking so we can get checked out." Gabe stops talking for a second and Shane begins to unload the grocery buggy placing the items very meticulously onto the conveyor belt when Gabe takes a deep breath and says, "Daddy, did you know..." I honestly thought Shane would have a breakdown right there in the check out line. He quietly bends over to Gabe and he says while gritting his teeth, "Son, the Bible says spare the rod spoil the child and you need to understand that I’m a real righteous man!" Shane stands back up thinking he has made his point very clear to Gabe and that the cue will be taken and there will be silence for at least five minutes and about that time Gabe, my sweet precious Gabe, looks at Shane and says, "What’s that supposed to mean?!?!" I turned my head to the side to keep both Shane and Gabe from seeing me laughing and Shane’s voice began to fade as I started fumbling through the magazines on the rack.
A little time has passed since that took place but today as I was driving to work the most amazing thing happened. It is a rainy day here and I was running behind and I was getting caught by every single red light in the greater Birmingham area when my truck made a beeping sound. I looked down at the dash and it said "Low Fuel Level." I mashed the reset button and continued on. I began to pray asking God to bless my blog and give me a story to tell and about that time the truck beeped again. "Low Fuel Level" displayed on the dash. Once again I mashed the reset button in frustration thinking "I know you need gas but not right now!" I continued my prayers when the dog-gone truck BEEPED AGAIN! And, at that moment I felt in my heart that God was "beeping" at me to get my attention. Just as Gabe wants us to look at him when he talks God wants our full attention when we talk to him too. In Matthew 6:6 he says, "...when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." I began to laugh out loud and looked directly up towards heaven and said "God you are so awesome!" I rushed into the parking deck, backed my truck up (as quickly as I could but I’m not a real good backer-upper so it took me a few minutes), all but ran into the building so I could get to my desk and post this story. When things are going wrong and you don’t know what else to do, just catch your breath and remember that God is beeping at you just to get your attention!
So, this one particular day as we are standing in line to check out Gabe is on a roll and had been for about the hour and a half that we had been in the store. It was constantly, "Daddy listen, Daddy look at me, Daddy!!" Shane slapped his hand on the back of his head close to his neck, up across the top of his bald head, down his face to his chin in utter frustration and said, "Son, please, for just five minutes stop talking so we can get checked out." Gabe stops talking for a second and Shane begins to unload the grocery buggy placing the items very meticulously onto the conveyor belt when Gabe takes a deep breath and says, "Daddy, did you know..." I honestly thought Shane would have a breakdown right there in the check out line. He quietly bends over to Gabe and he says while gritting his teeth, "Son, the Bible says spare the rod spoil the child and you need to understand that I’m a real righteous man!" Shane stands back up thinking he has made his point very clear to Gabe and that the cue will be taken and there will be silence for at least five minutes and about that time Gabe, my sweet precious Gabe, looks at Shane and says, "What’s that supposed to mean?!?!" I turned my head to the side to keep both Shane and Gabe from seeing me laughing and Shane’s voice began to fade as I started fumbling through the magazines on the rack.
A little time has passed since that took place but today as I was driving to work the most amazing thing happened. It is a rainy day here and I was running behind and I was getting caught by every single red light in the greater Birmingham area when my truck made a beeping sound. I looked down at the dash and it said "Low Fuel Level." I mashed the reset button and continued on. I began to pray asking God to bless my blog and give me a story to tell and about that time the truck beeped again. "Low Fuel Level" displayed on the dash. Once again I mashed the reset button in frustration thinking "I know you need gas but not right now!" I continued my prayers when the dog-gone truck BEEPED AGAIN! And, at that moment I felt in my heart that God was "beeping" at me to get my attention. Just as Gabe wants us to look at him when he talks God wants our full attention when we talk to him too. In Matthew 6:6 he says, "...when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." I began to laugh out loud and looked directly up towards heaven and said "God you are so awesome!" I rushed into the parking deck, backed my truck up (as quickly as I could but I’m not a real good backer-upper so it took me a few minutes), all but ran into the building so I could get to my desk and post this story. When things are going wrong and you don’t know what else to do, just catch your breath and remember that God is beeping at you just to get your attention!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Be Courageous
Well yesterday was an interesting day for me. In years past Shane and I have not always seen eye to eye on discipline for our children. We have fussed and fought and I've hid things from him and we have both just been totally out of God's will for our lives. Shane and I started going to church as a family for the first time in our marriage in January/February of this year. As the year has drudged on I have struggled with the "wives be submissive" thing. I even went as far as asking my Mom tons of questions about that area. Well, let me tell you something, the moment I was saved that all changed. It is amazing how everything falls into place, your views on discipline and everything else sort of fall into line when you and your spouse are both submissive to GOD! I had to tell you all of that to start my story today.
Yesterday my kids were out of school for Veteran's Day. Late in the day God began to tug at my heart and tell me that Kristina had broken a rule. I know that may sound crazy to everyone for me to say that but I don't believe in "mother's intuition" but I do believe in God and believe in his ability to let us parents know when our kids are "out of line." I struggled for about an hour with this "feeling." I would pick the phone up to call her and question her and then I would hang up before I dialed the entire number. I got up from my desk to just get away from the phone and I made copies, went to the restroom, got something to drink but every time I came back to my desk I just had this nagging feeling to call and talk to her about my "feeling." So, I finally picked the phone up and called her. As we talked and I asked questions she told me the truth. She could have lied but thanks to God's mercy she was honest with me. I explained to her that we would discuss this further when I got home and we both hung up.
As I sat at my desk I dropped my head into my hands. We have been struggling for quite some time with this one particular issue and Kristina's obedience to this rule. A feeling of anxiety washed over me. "Do I tell Shane?" "Shane is going to flip his lid if I tell him!" "I CAN'T tell him!" "I'll just deal with this on my own." All these thoughts just kept racing through my mind over and over and over. I quietly prayed, "God, please, give me some comfort, give me a word on what to do." Now, I knew that the right thing to do was to tell Shane about Kristina's disobedience but I just didn't have the courage to do it. I was scared of his reaction because I was basing past experience on my decision process. I lifted my head, opened up the internet on my computer and went to www.biblegateway.com. God took over my fingers and I typed in the search line Ezra 10:4. To my wonderment I read, "Arise! For this matter is your responsibility, but we will be with you; be courageous and act." I jumped back from my desk and all but shouted. I began to smile and I said "Okay, God, here we go." I no more said those words and my phone rang and as I glanced at the caller id I recognized the number. It was Shane! I began to explain to him what I had learned and I went through the conversation between me and Kristina and after a brief pause he says, "Okay, baby, well what punishment do you think we should give her?" He was calm, he was understanding, he was open to discuss the situation with me. He didn't yell or fuss or go off the deep end. Naturally, he was as disappointed in Kristina's decision as I was but there was peace. We discussed her punishment and discussed our "game plan" on talking to her upon our arrival home and then I gently hung up the phone in total amazement. Not that I was astonished at the way Shane handled the news but I sat amazed at my Father! He is so perfect, so loving, so compassionate and he can take a situtation and turn it IF we are just courageous. He is with us!
As I finished up my day and drove home, I couldn't help but smile. I walked in the house and Shane and I sat down with Kristina. There was no yelling, no screaming, no stomping of feet. The conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. She knew she had broken the rules and there was no point in rehashing what she had done. We simply told her that we loved her and outlined the consequences for her choices. I have heard people say "Let God take control!" and I understand that to a point but honestly, I witnessed yesterday that he is already in control he is just waiting on us to be courageous enough to give him control! Today, just catch your breath and give God complete control of every aspect of your life!
Yesterday my kids were out of school for Veteran's Day. Late in the day God began to tug at my heart and tell me that Kristina had broken a rule. I know that may sound crazy to everyone for me to say that but I don't believe in "mother's intuition" but I do believe in God and believe in his ability to let us parents know when our kids are "out of line." I struggled for about an hour with this "feeling." I would pick the phone up to call her and question her and then I would hang up before I dialed the entire number. I got up from my desk to just get away from the phone and I made copies, went to the restroom, got something to drink but every time I came back to my desk I just had this nagging feeling to call and talk to her about my "feeling." So, I finally picked the phone up and called her. As we talked and I asked questions she told me the truth. She could have lied but thanks to God's mercy she was honest with me. I explained to her that we would discuss this further when I got home and we both hung up.
As I sat at my desk I dropped my head into my hands. We have been struggling for quite some time with this one particular issue and Kristina's obedience to this rule. A feeling of anxiety washed over me. "Do I tell Shane?" "Shane is going to flip his lid if I tell him!" "I CAN'T tell him!" "I'll just deal with this on my own." All these thoughts just kept racing through my mind over and over and over. I quietly prayed, "God, please, give me some comfort, give me a word on what to do." Now, I knew that the right thing to do was to tell Shane about Kristina's disobedience but I just didn't have the courage to do it. I was scared of his reaction because I was basing past experience on my decision process. I lifted my head, opened up the internet on my computer and went to www.biblegateway.com. God took over my fingers and I typed in the search line Ezra 10:4. To my wonderment I read, "Arise! For this matter is your responsibility, but we will be with you; be courageous and act." I jumped back from my desk and all but shouted. I began to smile and I said "Okay, God, here we go." I no more said those words and my phone rang and as I glanced at the caller id I recognized the number. It was Shane! I began to explain to him what I had learned and I went through the conversation between me and Kristina and after a brief pause he says, "Okay, baby, well what punishment do you think we should give her?" He was calm, he was understanding, he was open to discuss the situation with me. He didn't yell or fuss or go off the deep end. Naturally, he was as disappointed in Kristina's decision as I was but there was peace. We discussed her punishment and discussed our "game plan" on talking to her upon our arrival home and then I gently hung up the phone in total amazement. Not that I was astonished at the way Shane handled the news but I sat amazed at my Father! He is so perfect, so loving, so compassionate and he can take a situtation and turn it IF we are just courageous. He is with us!
As I finished up my day and drove home, I couldn't help but smile. I walked in the house and Shane and I sat down with Kristina. There was no yelling, no screaming, no stomping of feet. The conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. She knew she had broken the rules and there was no point in rehashing what she had done. We simply told her that we loved her and outlined the consequences for her choices. I have heard people say "Let God take control!" and I understand that to a point but honestly, I witnessed yesterday that he is already in control he is just waiting on us to be courageous enough to give him control! Today, just catch your breath and give God complete control of every aspect of your life!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Because I Said So...
Yesterday I went to lunch with a co-worker. As we sat down at our table and began eating and chit chatting about our day we saw a group of older ladies walk to a table close to us but two of them caught our attention. One lady was dressed to the ninth. She had on a multi-colored jacket, her make-up was impeccable and not a hair was out of place. She had rings on almost every finger and walked with a sort of air about her. The other lady had a color checkered scarf around her head, big black Hollywood movie star rim sunglasses and her clothes were a bluish gray color. Even her BOOTS! She had a small gray purse that dangled from the bend of her arm with small silver claps on the front. As my co-worker and I sat there we begin to talk in wonderment about what type of life these women had lived. We wondered if the lady with the big rim glasses had been famous in her younger days or if the lady in the multi-colored coat had married a rich executive. We snickered as they talked because they seemed to be living and have lived in such a different world then she and I ever knew existed.
As we ate our lunch and talked some more I just couldn’t help but watch these two women. There was something about them. Something special, something that just was. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it but I knew they weren’t like me. As I returned to my desk God laid a heavy thought on my heart. "Do others see something special about you? Do other people look at you and see that you stand out from the crowd and even though they don’t know what it is they can just tell you’re different?" These questions begin to plague me and I began to mutter (as my Daddy always says).
God instructs us in his word to be set part from the world. In 2 Corinthians 6:17 he says "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord." Did you catch the last part? "Says the LORD." Have you ever said "Because I said so!"? Oh, as a mother of a 16 year old and a 12 year old I loudly say those words quite often. I say those words when I want my children to understand that they don’t have to agree with me but they are going to honor them because I am their mother and I SAID SO! God is doing the same thing here. He is telling us that as Christians we are to be set aside from everyone else. We are different, we are special, we are unique. Why? Because he said so!
I sat at my desk with my mouth gaped open looking like a toad waiting to catch a fly in utter amazement of how God reveals things to me. I sat up a little straighter in my chair, straightened my shirt and ran my fingers through the static filled mop that sits atop my head. I took a moment to just catch my breath and vowed to be different, to smile at others when I really don’t feel like it, to be nice to the lady at the the department store this holiday season who is checking out in front of me and has 17 coupons and wants to pay for her items with 5 different credit cards, stopping to hug my children instead of rushing them along so I can hurry up and finish supper, stopping and actually listening intently to my husband as he rambles on about something I don’t understand and stopping to make sure that I don’t rush past someone who needs a hand to lift them up, a hug to brighten their day or a shoulder to dry their tears. I want to stand out! I want to be different!
As we ate our lunch and talked some more I just couldn’t help but watch these two women. There was something about them. Something special, something that just was. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it but I knew they weren’t like me. As I returned to my desk God laid a heavy thought on my heart. "Do others see something special about you? Do other people look at you and see that you stand out from the crowd and even though they don’t know what it is they can just tell you’re different?" These questions begin to plague me and I began to mutter (as my Daddy always says).
God instructs us in his word to be set part from the world. In 2 Corinthians 6:17 he says "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord." Did you catch the last part? "Says the LORD." Have you ever said "Because I said so!"? Oh, as a mother of a 16 year old and a 12 year old I loudly say those words quite often. I say those words when I want my children to understand that they don’t have to agree with me but they are going to honor them because I am their mother and I SAID SO! God is doing the same thing here. He is telling us that as Christians we are to be set aside from everyone else. We are different, we are special, we are unique. Why? Because he said so!
I sat at my desk with my mouth gaped open looking like a toad waiting to catch a fly in utter amazement of how God reveals things to me. I sat up a little straighter in my chair, straightened my shirt and ran my fingers through the static filled mop that sits atop my head. I took a moment to just catch my breath and vowed to be different, to smile at others when I really don’t feel like it, to be nice to the lady at the the department store this holiday season who is checking out in front of me and has 17 coupons and wants to pay for her items with 5 different credit cards, stopping to hug my children instead of rushing them along so I can hurry up and finish supper, stopping and actually listening intently to my husband as he rambles on about something I don’t understand and stopping to make sure that I don’t rush past someone who needs a hand to lift them up, a hug to brighten their day or a shoulder to dry their tears. I want to stand out! I want to be different!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thank God for Spell Check
It was a Friday afternoon and I was at work. My mind was racing about the upcoming weekend, what all I had to do when I got off work and just your normal motherly thoughts... "sure hope the kids are having a good day," "what am I going to get Shane for Christmas," "only 3 more hours and it is quitting time!" About that time my phone rings and I answer it in my usual fashion, "This is Lori," when I hear a voice say "Can I ask you a question without you laughing?" Well, immediately, I burst out in laughter but I agree. The caller said, "How do you spell courteous? I’ve been sitting here trying to spell it and nothing is right and I can’t even spell it close enough to get spell check to pick it up." So, at this moment I begin to belly laugh. Have you ever done that? You get to laughing so hard that your belly shakes and your ribs start to hurt and you are wheezing just trying to suck in enough air to laugh a little harder. When I composed myself I said, "Have you tried c-o-u-r-t-e-o-u-s?" The caller, who is laughing just as hard as me, says, "Yep, that worked! Thanks!" And before I could blink the call was over and back to work we went.
As the moments passed I snickered to myself a little more trying to be quiet fearful that my co-workers were probably thinking I had seriously lost my mind. I begin to think about sin and how even though we feel conviction by just simply thinking the wrong words or the wrong action we say them/do it anyway and then try to justify it to God. "Well, God, you know I can’t help she took what I said that way. I didn’t mean it the way it came out" or "My boss made me so mad and I have just had enough of their attitude and they deserved the way I handled that situation." Have you ever done that? I know somebody out there knows what I’m talking about! And that is when it occurred to me...God, is the typist!!! He has his hand on the mouse ("us") and when we sin and come under conviction and ask for forgiveness, he just right-clicks us and makes us new. He says in Ezekial 16:62-63 ...I will reaffirm my covenant with you, and you will know that I am the Lord. You will remember your sins and cover your mouth in silent shame when I forgive you of all that you have done.... Even though we make mistakes and we fall on our faces God forgives us. He will renew his covenant with us and make us new once again.
As my Friday continued on I began to think more and more of this analogy and it was like I could not do another thing, take another step, type another word until I thanked God for just being him. I tried to move on with my daily work and I tried to do my secretarial duties but I just couldn’t do it. So, I sat down, I typed out my thoughts and I had to just catch my breath. I hope as all of you are sitting there today with your cup of coffee (or in my case a Mountain Dew) you just take a moment and thank God for his greatness and for his unwavering love for us and how he just "spell checks" us all day long right-clicking and making us new.
As the moments passed I snickered to myself a little more trying to be quiet fearful that my co-workers were probably thinking I had seriously lost my mind. I begin to think about sin and how even though we feel conviction by just simply thinking the wrong words or the wrong action we say them/do it anyway and then try to justify it to God. "Well, God, you know I can’t help she took what I said that way. I didn’t mean it the way it came out" or "My boss made me so mad and I have just had enough of their attitude and they deserved the way I handled that situation." Have you ever done that? I know somebody out there knows what I’m talking about! And that is when it occurred to me...God, is the typist!!! He has his hand on the mouse ("us") and when we sin and come under conviction and ask for forgiveness, he just right-clicks us and makes us new. He says in Ezekial 16:62-63 ...I will reaffirm my covenant with you, and you will know that I am the Lord. You will remember your sins and cover your mouth in silent shame when I forgive you of all that you have done.... Even though we make mistakes and we fall on our faces God forgives us. He will renew his covenant with us and make us new once again.
As my Friday continued on I began to think more and more of this analogy and it was like I could not do another thing, take another step, type another word until I thanked God for just being him. I tried to move on with my daily work and I tried to do my secretarial duties but I just couldn’t do it. So, I sat down, I typed out my thoughts and I had to just catch my breath. I hope as all of you are sitting there today with your cup of coffee (or in my case a Mountain Dew) you just take a moment and thank God for his greatness and for his unwavering love for us and how he just "spell checks" us all day long right-clicking and making us new.
Friday, November 7, 2008
...Just Some Insight...
So, last night I was doing my Bible study time and I asked God to reveal something to me, anything. It seems like I am one of those people who are hard headed and I don't understand what I read when I first read it, especially the Bible. So, I have been praying for God to open my eyes and my heart and allow me to read his word and understand it and it just jump off the page. Well, ask and you shall receive. He brought me to this verse ...Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! 1 Chronicles 29:14
I wrote out the verse in my journal and then I started listing out the things that God has given me that I am to give back to him. I listed my money, my time, my spouse, my children, and a few other things and then as I sat there I began to think about all the other things that God has blessed me with that I don't ever think of giving back to him. I don't even look at these things as "gifts" that need to be brought back to the feet of Jesus (I just love that song and lately I find myself walking around singing that song in my head all day long....we fall down, we lay our crowns, at the feet of Jesus). So as I'm sitting there thinking I begin to write down my next list....joy, praise, peace, comfort, compassion, and a few others. It hit me like a lightening bolt...zzzzaaaappp! We carry our tithe into church, we volunteer at Sunday School or with our youth, we bring a covered dish to a function, we sing in the choir, etc. But how often do we give God our joy, our peace, our comfort, our compassion? I personally struggle with personal relationships and I felt so convicted last night because I know that I have not been giving Jesus EVERYTHING back that he has given me. Who am I to decide what is God's and needs to be given back? The way I speak to my children, the affection I show my husband, the compassion I show a stranger, the joy that I show a co-worker.... God has given me EVERYTHING, he has not healed my heart he has given me a new one. He has put my brain back together and made me think in a totally different way, he has blessed me beyond compare and I am to give it ALL back to him...even the smallest most insignificant thing...it is his.
I have been praying for God to reveal my talent to me...I want him to show me what I am to do to serve him and he is revealing to me more and more every day that he has given me the talent of words....yeah you heard me I officially got the gift of gab! =) So today I have been praying all morning on what I should do and it hit me like another bolt....share your insight with your girls today so that is what I have done. I hope you have a great day! The leaves are falling, the weather is changing and oh, there is Christmas music on the radio and most of all me and God love YOU.....
I wrote out the verse in my journal and then I started listing out the things that God has given me that I am to give back to him. I listed my money, my time, my spouse, my children, and a few other things and then as I sat there I began to think about all the other things that God has blessed me with that I don't ever think of giving back to him. I don't even look at these things as "gifts" that need to be brought back to the feet of Jesus (I just love that song and lately I find myself walking around singing that song in my head all day long....we fall down, we lay our crowns, at the feet of Jesus). So as I'm sitting there thinking I begin to write down my next list....joy, praise, peace, comfort, compassion, and a few others. It hit me like a lightening bolt...zzzzaaaappp! We carry our tithe into church, we volunteer at Sunday School or with our youth, we bring a covered dish to a function, we sing in the choir, etc. But how often do we give God our joy, our peace, our comfort, our compassion? I personally struggle with personal relationships and I felt so convicted last night because I know that I have not been giving Jesus EVERYTHING back that he has given me. Who am I to decide what is God's and needs to be given back? The way I speak to my children, the affection I show my husband, the compassion I show a stranger, the joy that I show a co-worker.... God has given me EVERYTHING, he has not healed my heart he has given me a new one. He has put my brain back together and made me think in a totally different way, he has blessed me beyond compare and I am to give it ALL back to him...even the smallest most insignificant thing...it is his.
I have been praying for God to reveal my talent to me...I want him to show me what I am to do to serve him and he is revealing to me more and more every day that he has given me the talent of words....yeah you heard me I officially got the gift of gab! =) So today I have been praying all morning on what I should do and it hit me like another bolt....share your insight with your girls today so that is what I have done. I hope you have a great day! The leaves are falling, the weather is changing and oh, there is Christmas music on the radio and most of all me and God love YOU.....
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