Thank You

The moment the doctor said "It's positive" my heart began to beat faster than she could count my pulse. Every emotion, every thought, every fear came rushing over me. It was the day before my 18th birthday and I just learned that I was pregnant. Scared and in somewhat of a fog I drove to Shane's house and standing right there on his concrete front porch I gave him the news. We had been dating for about a year and a half and even though we were both in denial we both knew deep down that I was pregnant. My visit to the doctor was just confirmation. I told my parents on my 18th birthday (yeah, that's a birthday for the history books) and within a few weeks Shane and I were married and set to live a crazy, unusual life.

Sixteen years ago today it was Thanksgiving Day. I don't remember much about that day other than waddling around talking to belly saying "You were supposed to be born 3 days ago!" She finally made her glorious arrival 3 days later on November 29th. I can remember sitting in the hospital room while Shane slept holding her and thinking "Okay, kid, its me and you. I have no clue what I'm doing here and you're gonna have to help me out!" She looked up at me as if she knew what I was thinking.

The first night at home was a nightmare. She cried, I cried, she screamed then, well, I screamed! My Mom and Dad stayed in their room while I did it on my own. I'm sure there were so many times my Momma wanted to come out there and say "For the love, Lori, give me the child and let me do it!" But, she never did. My Momma always let me figure things out on my own. She always let me make mistakes, try it my way and never gave me her opinion unless I asked. She is still like that and I try and try and try to mirror myself after her. I fail, but I do try. After 3 or 4 hours of continuous feeding, diaper changing and tears I was at my wits end because Kristina was still crying. I held her in my arms with her head in my hands. I looked directly into her eyes and I said "I don't know what's wrong with you! Tell me!" Without batting an eye, she turned her head to the side and began to projectile vomit! I mean it went EVERYWHERE!! I had no clue how one little bitty baby could produce that much vomit. I'm not sure what made my Mom finally come out of her room but as she helped me clean it all up (see, that's my Mom, she is always there to help clean the mess) I began telling her what had happened. She looked up at me in the dimly lit living room and said "Precious, did you not burp her?" Burp her?!?!? Oh yeah, oops I forgot that part!

From that moment on I knew that me and Kristina were going to be just fine. I have made tons of mistakes over the past 16 years. I have made bad choices as her mother. I have given her bad advice, tried to control her, snooped when I shouldn't have and busted her when I needed to. The love that I have for my children is a love that is never failing. A love that never ends because it didn't grow a little bit over time, it was instantaneous. Even though I was scared to death the moment the doctor confirmed I was pregnant, in some weird way, I immediately loved her without knowing her. The day I took a home pregnancy test with Gabe and confirmed what I already knew, I immediately loved him. No matter what choices my children will ever make in their lives, I will love them unconditionally. No matter how many times I help them fix a problem, no matter who they date, who they marry, where they live, what job they choose I will love them.

In 1 Chronicles 16:34 he says "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." If we love our children as much as we do, can you only begin to imagine how much he loves us? I love the song Old Rugged Cross. O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world, has a wondrous attraction for me; for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above to bear it to dark Calvary. He loved us so much that he gave his son on Calvary for you, for me, for all. That is love that I cannot even begin to comprehend. So, tomorrow, as you are hugging your family, watching the parades, stuffing your bellies, be thankful for the little things. Be thankful for the things you so many times over look. Remember to love and remember to be thankful for love.