Mix It Up

My due date for Kristina’s delivery was fast approaching and I was bigger than, well, a barn I guess. I can remember that I couldn’t tie my shoes or put on my own socks. I waddled around like a penguin and basically lived in sweat pants and t-shirts. I had a few maternity clothes that I wore when I left the house, which was rare, but I was more comfortable in clothes that did not touch my skin. I was not a happy pregnant person. Some women say they are the happiest when they are pregnant and I seriously just want to slap those women. I was miserable! I was huge, couldn’t breathe, my stomach always hurt, Kristina sat on top of every single organ that she could crawl around and find.

Shane and I lived with my parents and my Mom’s Mom, Grannie, came to stay with us so I wouldn’t be left home alone during the day and go into labor because let’s face it, I would have never fit behind the steering wheel! I will treasure those days spent just me and Grannie more than any picture, any card, any gift, any anything because it was just me and her. We talked and talked like two old friends. It wasn’t like grandmother - granddaughter. She gave me advice and we would tell stories and just laugh and laugh. It was the greatest time of my life. I asked her questions about my Mom and she would tell me secrets that sometimes I think I forget until something triggers my memory and then I grin as I can vividly remember her mannerisms as she told me the story. She was a robust woman during this time and when she would tell me a story she would flap her arms above her head and get to laughing so hard her entire body would shake. As she started laughing really hard she would throw her arthritis bent fingers over her mouth and quietly giggle. I see my own Mother doing some of these things now and I smile with pride because as I watch my daughter spend time with my Mom I know that she too will one day have sweet, precious memories of her grandmother.

So one day we were talking about cooking and I asked her why my Mom always mixed brownies with her hands. I told her that as far back as I could remember Momma didn’t use a spoon or a mixer to mix the ingredients she used her hands. My Grannie looked at me like I had bumped my head and she said, "Precious, I have no idea why she does that." I said, "Well, Leaner," (her name was Lena Mae Grimes but we called her Leaner for meanness) "she told me that she did it because you told her too!" Again, she cocked her eyes over towards me, looked over the rim of her glasses and said "Well, I ain’t never done it that way so we’ll have to ask her." We finished our day and chit chatted about all sorts of things until my Mom came home from work. Momma no more walked in the door and Grannie said "Helen, what’s this about you mixing brownies with your hand?" My Momma very proudly said, "Mother, you gave me a recipe for brownies years ago and it says AND I QUOTE ‘mix by hand’!!" Let me tell you, my Grannie threw her arms above her head waving her hands back and forth laughing hysterically. She said, "Helen, mix by hand means don’t use a mixer....it means....use a spoon!" Well, my Momma got to laughing and wheezing and I got to laughing to the point Kristina got to kicking so hard my belly started to hurt. That was a good day and a day that I will never forget! I still think of that day when I make brownies myself. Now, times have changed and my brownies come out of a box and I just add water and an egg but as I’m stirring I can still hear my Grannie laughing if I listen real hard.

Shortly after Kristina was born my Grannie’s health began to fade and even though she lived for several years past Kristina’s birth and even Gabe’s birth she just was never the same after that time. Many laughs and many tears took place during the life of my Grannie. She was a priceless treasure to this world. As Kristina’s birthday is fast approaching my Grannie has been on my mind. A co-worker of mine experienced a loss in her life and she has been sad. She has cried off and on at work and me, just being me, has tried to tell funny stories or almost ignore her pain just because I wanted to make her smile and laugh. But, ever so gently I felt like God touched my heart and said ‘sometimes you just need to cry.’ I love Ecclesiastes 3. If you ever wonder what to do at a certain time in your life, you can go here. Verse 4 says "...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." I am notorious for wanting to be given the space to cry if I want to but often find myself not allowing others to do it. I want the space to be mad and deal with a situation but I find that I hover over my children and Shane when they are angry. This was a good lesson for me. My co-worker’s tears were a test...I failed it...but I learned. Many times we want to be selfish when we want OUR time but we often forget that other people, well, they NEED their time too. So, just catch your breath, laugh when it is time to laugh, cry when it is time to cry, mourn when it is time to mourn and girlfriend dance when it is time to dance!!